[BPandMe]

I need some advice. I was recently diagnosed with BP in August, yet only my husbands family knows, and my mother. I tried confiding in my brother, but he ranted about "it's all in your head"...arggg. Generally speaking, should I disclose my BP or is that just setting myself up for disaster? Because keeping this a secret is eating me up inside. Pleae help.

If I had my time again, I wouldnt tell a soul.

[A Red Panda]

Tell the people you trust, if you want. Don't ever feel like you HAVE to tell anyone - because you don't. It's your health.

[OutlawedSpirit]

I've told some people. My mom knows I have bipolar, but she doesn't know it was upgraded to schizoaffective. My wife and dad both know about my schizoaffective. I loved my dad's response when i was trying to explain what it was. He said, "So you're f***ing nuts, so what?" There are a couple of coworkers I've told, and to me, that has been beneficial. They are two people outside of my family I can talk to, and they also help cover my work when I'm having a hard time. However, I do not think that telling a coworker is for everyone. I think it really depends on your personal circumstances. Like has already been said, you shouldn't feel like you have to tell someone about your dx. Really weigh the pros and cons. If you want to tell someone and feel there is something to benefit from telling them, go for it, if not, don't say anything.

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[Stone83]

I only told the people closest to me.(4) I don't want everything I do and say discounted because I am " crazy". I feel like once people know they won't support but instead judge. It's not fair, just how it is.

[Victoria'smom]

I've had it used again me in arguments that I'm on psych meds with my older sister. My younger sister jokes that she's the only sibling "not certified" crazy. My dad is completely against medication and has the feeling " that you (me) are the most put together one you (me) don't need meds." My mom is worried but accepts it. I've had my blow-ups with her about my son having "long periods" at My grandmother actually went to the pdoc herself after several long conversations about the good, bad, and through the med changes. She knew the most about how bipolar really effected me through out my life solely because I could not help but be completely honest with her. My close friends know as well as some strangers.

If I have to take meds at night I'll take them where ever. If I'm asked what's that for I answer with just "bipolar", usually they drop it. If they ask what's that I just say "a mental illness". If they ask more I tell them "remember the time when I.... yeah, those times" usually the answer is "But you were so happy!" and the night moves on until a time when they can bring it up in a calm one-on-one but usually I'm making fun of it while still telling them so it's not taken seriously. I'm more of a whatever person.

______

Now my son being medicated I'm less forth right about that. It has caused huge problems in my immediate family but I have only disclosed the ADHD to anyone. My siblings and my mom know the ASD. My younger sister straight out asked if he has ASD. My older sister I told because I was/am worried about her youngest. My mom I told because my older sister and I got into a huge fight. I wanted to tell her before my sister did. My son only knows he has ADHD.

[PrairieCat]

Originally Posted by OutlawedSpirit

I've told some people. My mom knows I have bipolar, but she doesn't know it was upgraded to schizoaffective. My wife and dad both know about my schizoaffective. I loved my dad's response when i was trying to explain what it was. He said, "So you're f***ing nuts, so what?" There are a couple of coworkers I've told, and to me, that has been beneficial. They are two people outside of my family I can talk to, and they also help cover my work when I'm having a hard time. However, I do not think that telling a coworker is for everyone. I think it really depends on your personal circumstances. Like has already been said, you shouldn't feel like you have to tell someone about your dx. Really weigh the pros and cons. If you want to tell someone and feel there is something to benefit from telling them, go for it, if not, don't say anything.

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I agree totally. Your dad and his response are priceless. I wish I had that in my family. My brother is the only one who I can talk to about it. I'm trying again with my two sisters. When my mom was alive, she couldn't get over the fact I had to see a psychiatrist. I explained it was for meds only. Also my daughter, of course. SHE is the one who diagnosed me, in fact. I love your dad for that response!

[Topher]

Just as you feel the need to disclose your Bipolar to someone, they will in turn feel the need to tell someone else. My advice is to allow people to form an opinion about you and your abilities without prejudging you with your diagnosis. You, too, shouldn't define yourself by your illness, you are so much more than that.

[BPandMe]

Thank you everyone for your insight. In a nutshell, it's best to keep bp to myself. My question is how? It's eating me up inside. I listen to stories of countless people "coming out of the closet", announcing they're gay, then they proclaim to be free and feel a great burden lifted from their shoulders. It's a shame that persons suffering deeply with mental issues to continue to suffer in silence. Is it the stigma? Ignorance on the part of society that makes us feel that we must not talk about it? I honestly don't know if I can hold this much torment inside. A sad reality. But I'm thankful for everyone to dhsre their personal experiences.....my brother is not supportive by any means. That should tell me something right there. One day, I do hope the future brings acceptance and no longer a stigma surrounding mental health.

[Rzay4]

I only tell a few people even my good friend of 18 years doesn't know. I said when I was in the hospital I liked football and the hospital part went over her head. Go figure some peeps don't need to know.

[Victoria'smom]

I think it's a bit of all three. Like I said I wait until people notice I'm taking meds That way they approach the conversation and they are easily able to end the convo.

[sporster2k7]

I was diaginoised in october with bipolar/depression.My wife knows as well as my kids.I have told my sister and my Mother.I have yet to tell my Mother in law or my Wifes family.My sister in law is bipolar 1.Ive always heard the stories about Beth how shes crazy and a mental case,that just dosent sit well with me.I makes me feel as if I will be judged as Beth is.I really dont think they need to know.

[Trippin2.0]

Me personally when my dx was new, I didn't care who found out, who I told, and also had this burning sensation to get it off my chest. So I can relate...

That being said, I've changed my perception regarding "outing myself" somewhat. I don't tell anyone unless it comes up, and feel kinda silly that at one point I wanted to tell the world. I mean, my aunt didn't go telling all and sundry about her cancer...

Anyway, even though I've not experienced any negative reactions from those I've told, not all of us are lucky enough to be surrounded by open minded and or supportive people.

Besides, I've always been open about my crazy, long before it had a name. So it really wasn't a shock to anyone, least of all me.

It really depends on the type of relationships you've cultivated over the years, and whether speaking up will help or atleast not hinder.

Don't. I.repeat. Don't tell an employer though,I've heard too many horror stories regarding jumping out of that closet.

[BlueInanna]

Don't tell... Unless you trust the person. My opinion is we will change the stigma, but it's slow going because some people will use it against you or just drop out of your life. I wait until I'm pretty close to someone before I discuss.

I have a gf known her almost a year, we shared some past troubles etc. and I told her my dx. Like most she said You don't seem to have that! But I told her well I have this history & get some really bad depression & let her know ahead of time how sad I was how many friends I've lost cuz I go into isolation mode. So in August when I went downhill, she was a little prepared for it. She gave me space & understood when I'd text I just can't talk or go out right now & I'm sorry I'm in the depression, thanks for being my friend, I'll get better but this is what I was telling you about... I trust her & my judgment was right she is still my friend & won't leave me.

[BPandMe]

Well yestderday I met up with a girlfriend of mine....whom I haven't seem in a long time. We met to have coffee and catch up. During our small talk she asked how I was doing. Of course emotions started to show on my face (as hard as it was to hide), she came out and told me her son is Bipolar and didn't know what to do. Wow, she had been hiding this for so long and needed to talk. I in turn shared (no details), that I too have been diagnosed with BP. She was sooooo grateful and appreciative that I was someone who understood what her son was going through. I had the opportunity to listen to her and how she felt.

It's funny how some things turn out.....a simple cup of coffee. I'm grateful for yesterday. I have two great friends who know, that's enough to keep me from feeling "boxed in and alone". With exception from this wonderful community here. Feeling pretty good today! There's hope.

[justbeingme80]

I know that feeling when you're first diagnosed. I told a close friend at college and she completely flipped out and told me I was going to be one of those people who do crazy things like go on a rampage and become violet. She in turn told everyone else on this small campus. I trusted her. And it hurt. I've never been violent in my whole life. That's not a feeling I want to experience again.

Now I tell no one. The only people who know are my parents. My close friends don't even know. For some reason, depression is more accepted than bipolar. If I have to tell someone I tell them I have depression. I will never out myself again with the bipolar diagnosis. There is more judgement for that than depression, at least in my experience.

The school I was at was so small I couldn't even return there. My professors treated me differently, no one wanted to talk to me anymore. I can't go through that again.

My advice--be very careful who you tell. I know you feel like you need to get it off your chest, but I wouldn't tell just anyone. I start with a depression diagnosis and if they take that well, eventually if I feel comfortable I might say it's bipolar later on.

[Phoenix_1]

The only person I ever told it to was my boyfriend. Then he would use it against me. If he said or did something to upset me, something any "normal" woman would be upset about, he said it was my bp and I really shouldn't be upset at all.

So I really don't plan on telling anyone else ever.

[BPandMe]

Thank you everyone for your replies. I truly appreciate the support and advice, it means a lot. Hugs to all!!

[Themeanreds]

Originally Posted by BPandMe

I need some advice. I was recently diagnosed with BP in August, yet only my husbands family knows, and my mother. I tried confiding in my brother, but he ranted about "it's all in your head"...arggg. Generally speaking, should I disclose my BP or is that just setting myself up for disaster? Because keeping this a secret is eating me up inside. Pleae help.

It is difficult for me to keep things of this nature to myself. I do regret telling people that I am bipolar because they sometimes seem suddenly scared or uncomfortable. Most people who have known me a long time are certain that I am wrong, simply because they are unfamiliar with BP 2 and mixed episodes, so they think I should just snap out of it, or am being overly dramatic. I just think that now that I am on meds and that my symptoms have improved, there is no need to tell people now. They usually don't understand and as long as my behavior is not impacting their lives, why should they know?

[MilitaryMech]

I've told my last two employers before I was hired. I was very upfront and honest and explained that I was simply informing them because it has caused problems in the past. I told them that I didn't know what I had before, but now I do and I take my meds religiously. I told them that I'm not perfect, but do my best.

I got both jobs. It helps that after I get the job, I work my colleagues under the proverbial table. ;-)

I really wish I had been diagnosed while in the USMC. I honestly think I could have made a career out of it.... Or at least I would feel better about "being a screw up"

[Tapering]

I try to tell people on a need to know basis. I only tell people after I know them a long time and if I trust them. I had to tell my employer and it was disastrous for me. Needless to say I am unemployed now and feel black balled in my field.

[Themeanreds]

Originally Posted by Tapering

I try to tell people on a need to know basis. I only tell people after I know them a long time and if I trust them. I had to tell my employer and it was disastrous for me. Needless to say I am unemployed now and feel black balled in my field.

Yep. I know what you mean. I told the person I was dating and was immediately place in the "friend" category. On the bright side, he has turned out to being a wonderful friend, and starting to understand more about BP, and starting to "get it". Still the stigma somewhat stains me, because I am now stuck in the friend category. Oh well.

[IndieVisible]

I made the mistake of telling some people many years ago, and they were cool about it however it's always in the back of their mind. When ever I did some thing crazy it was because I was bipolar, or when I didn't feel good it was because I was bipolar, or sad, or angry, or any thing, it was because I was bipolar. I gets old fast. That was 20 years ago when I was younger, for the past 20 years I don't tell any one any thing. My wife knows and I go thru that same cr*p, I lost my temper because I'm bipolar, I'm tired must be getting depressed, I'm in a crazy mode, oh I must be going manic. I hate that. Also at work I would strongly recommend not telling even your best friend because trust me, EVERYONE talks. It's your business. No one else, you don't need to tell anyone your medical situation. Once they know, their image of you changes. The only one that needs to know is your spouse, doctors and ED if required. No one else!

[steelfang]

I've only told my immediate family and closest friends (4 friends). This was for my own good since they might be able to catch me when a manic episode is starting. Most people don't need to know.

[token451]

I can't imagine my employer would allow me to keep my job if they found out. In my personal life I go through periods of wanting everyone to know and just be done with it and periods of being very thankful that some people don't know. It is a tough call to make.