[tracy33]

I'm sure many of you keep a mood chart, like myself. I rate my moods on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being the lowest, most depressed and 10 being the highest. 5 would be average.
I usually range between 4 and 6. It's mostly just 5's. Just plain old average mood. Once in a while I'll reach a 7, and boy that's a great day! And now I can't stand just being a 5. Who wants to settle for an average mood? I don't like it one bit. It's such a disaapointment, especially right after a day of feeling really good, then I go down to feeling like crap. But I can't say it's that bad beacause if I had to rate it, it would be a 5 for average.
So am I settling for lousy days for my average?
Or am I expecting too much?
Expecting too much of a high when it's not going to happen?
I just don't know where I'm supposed to be at with my moods. I just know I'm OK, but I would like to be great. I'd like to have enthusiasm and live my life, not just exist. I'm tired of just sleeping ALL the time.
I want to FEEL happy.
Does anyone understand what I'm trying to say here?

[bizi]

Dear Tracy,
I wonder if you have told your pdoc about how you feel?
Do you have a therapist to help you with your feelings and perhaps help you to come up with some goals...
I know that when I was just stabilizing it took a while for me to settle down and a long time to just get stable. It was frustrating waiting. Looking back I was probably on the wrong meds.
It is not normal that you are sleeping all the time, perhaps these meds are not at the right dose just yet. How long have you been like this? I have found that I really like lamictal which I have been on for 6 months now.
hang in there and keep talking/posting/venting....
(((HUGS)))
bizi

A scale of 1-10 doesn't make any sense to me because there are many different things that go on when I'm depressed. for example one day I can be depressed but yet be interested in doing things that I normally do, or be depressed but yet not have any thoughts of planning a suicide.

So what I do is the depression inventory in the book Mind over mood. it has 19 specific questions of each depression symptom and you rate it by 0, 1, 2, 3 for not at all, sometimes, frequently and most of the time.

to score it you add up your numbers. the higher the number the more depressed you are.

By having the specific questions I can see right away where my depression is focused which makes it easier to take care of it.

I kept track every day for a month (both good days and bad days which gave me a base area for each of where I am. This way I can see right away when my depression is kicking back in, alot of times before I even am able to tell feelings wise.

[tracy33]

That sounds like a very good way of doing it. I find that when I wake up sometimes I'm depressed then I feel better later. When I don't know how to score myself I just give myself a 5. I guess it's not a very good system. Where did you get that book, does any bookstore carry it?
Thanks for your input.

Yes you can get the book any book store like - Daltons, Barns and Noble, sometimes college bookstores will also have self help books like this one.

The book is called

Mind Over Mood by Dennis Greenberger, PhD and Christine A Padesky PhD.

I got mine by calling Daltons book store and Asking them if they have the book. Then when they said they do not have it in I asked them to order it for me and let me know when it came in, a week later I got the call that it was in. the book costs $22.95 but is well worth it. there is many different activities to do in it. and I do them on paper instead of in the book so that I don't have to buy another copy of the book. I can just keep reusing the book.

There are also things in there like

Thought records
Identifying and rating moods
Automatic thoughts
Alternative or ballanced thinking
Assumptions and core assumptions
Understanding depression
Understanding anxiety
Understanding anger, guilt, and shame
depression inventory sheets
anxiety inventory shoots
rating confidence in core beliefs
activity recods and daily planners
setting goals
action plans

and so much more..

The depression quiz here does not help me in figuring out where I am. Regardless of good or bad day I score 43 on it because it is hard for me to do somethings and I am slow at doing things and I do tire easily, and it does take great effort to do things depending on what it is that I am doing. I have physical health problems - cerebral palsy for example my sleep does get sidturbed very much due to muscle spasms, and my musles are affected by the cerebral palsy by limbs so if I am doing something right handed I have a more difficult time doing t hat cativity then iof I am doing that activity left handed or with each of my legs and so on. I feel more dead then alive sometinmes well I have DID and with that comes numbness, not being able to feel, the same with difficulty making decisions I have DID part of that is my inability or difficulty in making decisions sometimes. pleasure and joy has gone out of my life - my son was my life and he is no longer here so that one is also scored very much. I read slowly - yea I have dyslexia so I take my time when I read.

Basically this book Mind Over Mood uses the words "more or less than usual" so that the person taking the inventory knows what is being looked for is any changes from that specific persons usual normal routines and feelings.

[tracy33]

Thanks again, I already checked the internet and I am going to place a bid on it. You've been very helpful.

you're welcome
hang in there