[CandiJay23]

I have been diagnosed bipolar for about 5 years I think. I have been highly successful in past careers. I have been married 10 years and have two beautiful daughters. I have had issues with depression and mania. The worst was a couple years ago... I was working in public safety. I made great money and had amazing benefits. One day my husband was offered a promotion, but we would have to relocate. I jumped at the opportunity! I quit my amazing job, sold our house and moved. Things went bad FAST! I somehow spent all our money from the sale of the house... 20,000.00 I can't be real sure where it all went. I decided to go to beauty school. I thought it was very clearly the best thing for me to do... I have no idea why... Because I wanted to 15 years ago... My husband's job went bad and we ended up moving home. We lost our nice vehicles, had to file bankruptcy. Many times I wanted to quit school, but my husband continued to support me. I did end up finishing school, but now I hate working! I am nervous all the time. I hate to just sit at home. I am restless but I have no idea what to do about it. I hate to give up on the beauty industry already given how much time and money we have spent. Is this a issue with Bipolar? Is it normal for someone with bipolar to feel so conflicted? Take something you were so good at and throw it away, then be dead set something else was such a great idea only to end up hating it later? I feel like I can not make any decisions right now because I will only hate the outcome or realize how wrong I was in the decisions I have made. How can I be a good example for my kids if I can't stick to anything. Has anyone else felt this way? What did you do?

[MyUsername1111111]

What about the job gives you nerves? Or is it unrelated.. possibly you are coming up on hypomania if you seem disorganized?

There are probably more knowledgeable members here than me, but your story caught my attention.

[CandiJay23]

I get nervous that I might accidentally hurt some one with a file or the nail drill. I worry they won't like my work. I worry we won't have anything to talk about. I worry I will take too long... Everything about the job makes me nervous. I quit doing hair and am only doing nails at this point but the scared feeling just won't go away. Then I look at calling it quits and doing something else and I get worried about that. I feel anxious and scared anytime I have to go to work, but then feel anxious and scared when I think about doing anything else for a living... This doesn't seem normal.

[MyUsername1111111]

Babe let your beautiful work do the talking!

Do you like your co-workers?

[CandiJay23]

They are fine... No issues there.

I do it all the time hun, always kicking my own butt when done. I quit running on gut feelings because come to find out, my gut is bipolar too and it has mood swings, so using it for making decisions is a bad call. I try to wait in making a decision till I know I'm normal and not being influenced by a bipolar mood. At least that's how it seems to me, but it's not really fool proof because here I am going on my 3rd divorce after thinking this is the one! I got married, spent all my money and relocated to another city. My partner quit life and our marriage, and here I am trying t make ends meet in a city that I've never been in without friends and family. Thank you bipolar.