My friend thinks she is being supportive but she just makes me feel worse.

I thought i was doing well after I was release from inpatient 2 weeks ago. I worked from home for two weeks and everything seemed okay. I wasn't jumping for joy but I wasn't crying either. I was hopeful that my new med adjustment was kicking in. Then I went back to work yesterday and had a terrible day, I cried at work which is embarrassing and then cried at a dinner with my family in a nice restaurant. I was overwhelmed. Its been two weeks I don't expect miracles.

Through all of this my best friend of 30 years has been by my side, she has experience with bipolar because her son was diagnosed 7 years ago. This morning she told me she thinks I need a second opinion because my psychiatrist didn't refer me to a neurologist and that I should be a lot better by now. I have a good relationship with my psychiatrist and my therapist. Is it normal to even have a neurological work up done to be diagnosed properly? What has been your experience in being diagnosed with bipolar?

I finally had to tell her that although I know she means well, she is just making matters worse for me and making me feel bad. I have been in a depression again for a few days.

I would love any input. Thanks so much

I never had neuro stuff done. I know it's done sometimes for the presence of psychosis, to rule out physical causes, but I dot think it's standard in diagnosing bipolar. I did have multiple thyroid tests done to make sure that wasn't causing depression but no neuro work up. I suppose you could always ask if that's the case.

Also, every bipolar case is different. Sometimes it takes years to find a treatment that improves your life. I was lucky enough to find a med that works in just six months (because I had tried most of them years ago so the options were limited). But you can't let anyone tell you "you SHOULD be better by now". Unfortunately that's just invalidating, even if she believes she's helping.

Stick with it. Two weeks out of inpatient isn't much time.

I just think that word 'should' is a bad word when it comes to things like recovery. Inpatient stabilizes but it still takes a while to come back from the episode. My advice, be super gentle with yourself and understand that your recovery will be in your own time not someone else's timeframe. It took a couple of months to be 'myself' after my hospital stay. At the same time, keep up with your moods, if you dont feel you are improving, be sure and stay in close touch with your drs.

I think it depends. My son did go to a neurologist to rule out seizures as a possible cause. But they seem to try out everything before diagnosing mental illness in kids here. I have a neurologist for my CPS but have never had any ct scans and my husband has never seen a neurologist. If you question if your bipolar is more likely epsilepsy please do look into it.

It depends upon your age. Since you have been friends with this woman for 30 years, you must be at least 33, ut might also be 73. In the latter case, yes, adding a neurologist to the treatment team is a good idea.

You decide when you are going to be better or how long that is going to take --not her.

I am glad you were able to tell her that she was not being helpful. It would be ok also, to tell her what would help you right now.

If you are really concerned, ask your psychiatrist the next time you see her/him.

I haven't had any neurological work done and I haven't heard of anyone else I know having it done.

Imho, she doesn't mean you are not doing enough... just that you are not getting the best treatment, eh.

I'm 44, no history of seizures and its suspected I've been bipolar since my late teens, I just never sought help for it, even after a suicide attempt. I'll talk to my psychiatrist about seeing a neurologist thanks!

I told her that too. Its an inner struggle every day, I don't need any extra pressure. Thanks!

i'm so sorry you're struggling … for me, i've had a variety of medication cocktails throughout my struggles (although i've been bipolar since childhood, it wasn't "officially" diagnosed until my late 30s and i am in my mid-50s) --

sometimes, the new meds and the adjustments would work for awhile and then have to be adjusted again within months, sometimes a combination would work for a couple of years and have to be changed yet again.

i would get so frustrated, angry and depressed at times because i wanted whatever i was taking to work because it's so often so difficult to find the right combination. what works for me may never work for someone else all because of brain chemistry.

i've learned that people who don't struggle with mental illness as an individual will never fully comprehend mental illness. if you can, grab hold of the rails and hold on tightly for the roller coaster ride you might have to take finding the right combo. since you have good relationships with your therapist and psychiatrist, tell them what's going on … and keep reaching out!! that's a great thing!! and is courageous!!

i truly hope things get better for you!

Sometimes a neuro workup is done when there is a sudden onset of severe symptoms to rule out things like brain tumor. I know one person who went through that kind of testing after suddenly experiencing mania with dissociations.

Your meds really haven't had enough time and will probably get better with some fine tuning. It takes time to heal. Sorry you have been having such a hard time.