[egoold]

I've been experiencing periods of sudden emotional detachment towards my boyfriend and apathy towards others. I love him with all my heart, we live together and have been together for about a year and a half now. Usually I am a very emotional and caring person. Recently I've been experiencing bouts of emotional detachment and over all apathy. When it comes on I feel absolutely no feeling towards him or desire to socially spend time with anyone, not because I'm feeling depressed, I just want to be by myself/take care of myself. I tend to feel like I'm "on my own" and need to "take care of myself". I just have no feeling emotionally in regards to other human beings. I have noticed my anxiety has been a little higher lately. His ex-girlfriend decided to move in next door to us and likes to pop by from time to time. . . makes me a little uncomfortable and on edge (yes she knew we lived there and chose that particular apartment, there were other options but she said she "just liked the view from this one the best"). Also in the process of transferring from my Junior College to a State University, been somewhat stressful coordinating all the paperwork. I seem to not be able to control when these bouts of apathy and detachment come on. When they hit I sometimes feel like I should just break up with him, that it would be easier, that I don't love him anymore, I just want to be alone, can't trust anyone but myself. When they pass I'm horrified that I was thinking that way. We have really good communication normally, I can tell him anything and we work out conflict really easily. I don't really know where this sudden behavior change is coming from for me. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar, chronic anxiety, PTSD and OCD but am very good about taking my medication regularly. I've been clean and sober for almost 2 years. I do a 12 step and regular therapy. Currently taking 500mg Lamictal and 10mg Lexepro. Anyone dealt with similar situations? Is it the bipolar?

[wildflowerchild25]

That actually sounds like it could be part of PTSD. I felt like that for years because I thought if I got close to someone they would just die. Plus I knew that I couldn't rely on anyone but myself. Especially since the ex is around now. You might be feeling rattled and therefore don't think you can totally trust your bf. even if your conscious thinks you can, your subconscious is damaged from your trauma.

I could e totally off though lol.

I get apathy hardcore during depressed episodes. I'm in an apathetic episode right now. I just don't care. Plus I'm actually a little resentful toward my husband for various things. I hope it goes away.

[swheaton]

I have apathy before...but it was during depressive episodes. I felt nothing. I wanted to care and love, but I just couldn't pull it off.

[Standup2me]

I can relate to the feeling nothing.

I am 400 mg of Lamictal a day, and I often wonder if the
drug is doing it. You are on 500, so maybe that's it?

I've also found that it seems to have taken away my smiles
(hope that makes sense)