How do I Help My Newly Diagnosed and Pregnant Bipolar Younger Cousin?

My younger cousin is 19 years old and newly diagnosed. Her parents have put her out due to their inability to handle her manic episodes ( I think I said that right) and pure selfishness. She has been in and out of group homes since she was a minor, she used to run away from home a lot and she was somewhat promiscuous each time.

Recently she got her own apartment and discovered she is pregnant. The father wants nothing to do with her, her parents have turned their backs on her, her grandparents adored her but they've recently passed away and she is being stalked by a violent former boyfriend - he is not her child's father.

I will be visiting my hometown for a week and I want to help her. I love her and I feel that she's been put of to pasture by family do to their ignorance and mental illness stigma. I suffer from anxiety and depression and have for years so I know a little bit about what she might be going through but based on my reading I need to learn more.

Are there support groups for pregnant women with BPD?

Is it possible for her to have a sponsor?

She has no local person to turn to, are there ant good orgs that can assist her?

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I think it's great that you want to help her. I don't know much about the other stuff but I'd say to try and find a way to let her know your there for her. It can seem like people are babying you sometimes and that can trigger big fights.

I hope you keep your enlightened outlook on mental illness and I hope you find a good way to help her. Good luck to both of you!

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It good that you want to help. Letting her know you are there for her, that she is not alone, will help her in a big way. But IMO in order to help her out more than this, she first needs to help herself. She needs to take steps to get her life under control. This means first taking her medication, or seeing a pdoc that can help her. IMO if she is unwilling to help herself in this way, it is not possible for you to be able to help her out in a meaningful way. If she has already taken this step, then this is good news! The next step would be helping her to get on some kind of financial assistance program.

JMO of course.

Being practically minded, I would suggest that you do the following:

1) make sure she gets prenatal care, takes prenatal vitamins with at least 800 mcg of folate daily, and has a psychiatrist who would talk to her prenatal care providers (doctors, midwives, nurse practitioners - whoever they are).

2) File a police report with her to help her get rid of the stalker.

3) Spend time with her doing fun things - shopping for layette if that is affordable or just having a walk followed by a lunch

4) Unless she takes a medication that would be secreted into breastmilk, put her in touch with the local chapter of La Leche League International. I am sure La Leche league group leaders would be kind enough and responsible enough to sponsor her, both as a woman who has been abandoned by her immediate family and the father of the baby, and a person who needs extra care and support due to mental illness

5) Share your own experiences with mental illness and maybe some tips on how to deal with depression (part of bipolar in most cases) and anxiety (still part of bipolar in many cases). She will appreciate learning that she is not alone and that one can be successful despite mental illness.

I really feel the first way to get some to run like hell is to mention medication or anything like that. Originally it sounds like you were close or you wouldn't be asking.

. Depending on how far you live ask to go to curtain baby mile stones, first sonograms, sonogram that tells the sex, birth if she wants you too., first baby appointment, 6 week check up.

Text and call often, send random little care boxes ie. Mom's favorite candy ( just something small little extra that is just for her to enjoy because she'll forget about doing little stuff for herself) and a $1 baby thing.

If you here she's having trouble do something nice: one of my friend's called and you could hear my son wailing in pain from colic. It was a very short call. Later this small pizza shows up at my door because "I needed a break".

Look into what catholic charities has to offer. Remember fist she's your cousin, (some descriptive things she likes to do) then she's a parent (all the other things about her) lastly she has bipolar. To many people stop treating moms as individuals once they have kids and to many people put a persons mental health above the person.

@All- this has been tremendously helpful. I've set about doing these things since I got into town and I'm looking forward to seeing things improve for my cousin. I will take care not to overwhelm her and to let her know that I'm supportive of her 100%. The restraining order against the stalker was thrown out by the judge so we'll have to figure something else out in the meantime for her safety.

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Stalker advice (been there, it sucks)

Get one of those motion detector cameras, and put it in a central place in her home.
When you think something strange is going on, if you have a cell phone, take pictures

Leave at different times each day, ditto with coming home, take a different route each day, and listen to your gut feelings