Why do people disappear?

Why do people disappear?

It seems like when I'm manic, people think I'm hilarious and it's like I have a ton of friends.

But then I crash and everyone disappears. I know part of it is I stop reaching out, but people in general stop responding to me. And this isolation exacerbates the psychosis and suicidal ideation I already experience with depression.

Why do people disappear NOW, when I need them most?

I empathize with you on this, because I have similar patterns. Another user put it aptly when he described the depressions as a, "sucking vortex of need". Neediness is not attractive and it does the opposite of what we exude it for. It's one of the paradoxes of this condition. We are here to support you as best as we can, here. I hope it helps.

Thank you. I think that was me who described it as a "sucking vortex of need"... I say that often and I think I posted it in the "what embarrasses you the most" thread.

I am trying to use CBT to challenge the negative thoughts, I'm thinking things like "I have no friends" and "nobody cares" and "I will always feel like this" but I know it's the depression making me think this.

I can't tell which is normal - whether I'm manic or depressed, I'm self-centered. I guess mania lends itself to that. I told a friend about how I didn't like being so self-centered and she said "but we love you anyway." And then she got busy and we've barely spoken or seen each other since. Pretty much everyone who supported me through my last depression is gone and it's so easy to tell myself I'm just too hard to be with. Even the one friend I thought I was close with backed off and said "I don't know what to say."

Thanks for your support.

I believe people disappear because of stigma. They feel awkward and afraid of mental illness in someone they care about. Also, some people just don't want to look at themselves, which they might have to do if they stuck with you. And then there are the people who just don't want to put themselves out to be supportive.

When my mood changed from mania, I once was described as a person who was "jumping out of his socks". The waitress told me that she actually liked me more when I was manic.

I have been dealing with this as well. I have heard from one friend in the last three months--the months I've been down. I become very isolated. I wonder why nobody calls to check up on me, but I know why; I'm a burden. I cry a lot. Can't say as I blame them. I call my daughter a lot (she's 25) and I know she must get tired of hearing the same old things. The most I get is likes on my facebook status if I post a quote or status about depression. Lucky to get a comment... I guess I'm having my own pity party on this thread, sorry.
Everyone loves manic Jill. I miss her a lot right now, I am so tired of being down & tired.