[r010159]

Back a few weeks ago, before I was placed on Lamictal, I had what appears to be a terrible mood episode. Please let me explain. I would be distracted by very intrusive, meaningless thoughts. My mind would jump from one thought to the next with no apparent rhyme or reason. I became anxious and very, very agitated. One time I found myself driving on the wrong side of the road when I almost got into an accident, wondering how I got there. Anxiety went through the roof. I found it virtually impossible to follow simple conversations with friends. I becomes very distressed. I would convince myself that I had everything under control, that it would be a simple matter for an intelligent person like me to find a way out of this mess. Yea, Right! And then at a later time, I would start to panic and think I was about to lose it. I came really close to checking myself in the hospital. What prevented me in doing this was that I had a mother with dementia to take care of.

This ended up being one of the worst experiences I ever had. I cannot remember when an episode was this intense before. This lasted several days, some days much worse than others. I thought I was losing my mind. I did not know what was actually happening to me. What do you think happened to me? What is confusing to me was that allot of anxiety was involved. I did seem to have one panic attack during this episode. Anxiety? Mixed episode? What?

Since my start of Lamictal, which is 300mg now, I have not felt this grounded and "normal" in a long time. But I still have the damage to clean up this problem of mine has caused. More recently have been having episodes of depression where I had to lay down due to a lack of energy. But this is another problem I will think about on another day.

[Trippin2.0]

I experience most of what you described during hypomania. It also lasts a few days, with the severity fluctuating. The racing thoughts, not giving you enough peace to concentrate on any one topic, convo or train of thought. Causing confusion, distress, frustration, making stupid mistakes, a lot of times not understanding simple instructions, or failing to accomplish certain tasks you are usually very good at because everything is so mixed up in your head. During these times I swear I can't even add and subtract because numbers cease to make any sense in my head.All of this just fuels my anxiey like a MOFO!
And don't get me started on the intrusive thoughts! Maybe its because I'm just lucky like that but my OCD kicks into high gear during these times and the thoughts play on an unrelenting loop in my head, its not uncommon for me to have the same loop for a full week. Drives me nuts, ready to rip out my hair!

Scary how you drove on the wrong side of the road, thank goodness I don't drive. Please take extra precautions while in this mood state.

[r010159]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

I experience most of what you described during hypomania. It also lasts a few days, with the severity fluctuating. The racing thoughts, not giving you enough peace to concentrate on any one topic, convo or train of thought. Causing confusion, distress, frustration, making stupid mistakes, a lot of times not understanding simple instructions, or failing to accomplish certain tasks you are usually very good at because everything is so mixed up in your head. During these times I swear I can't even add and subtract because numbers cease to make any sense in my head.All of this just fuels my anxiey like a MOFO!
And don't get me started on the intrusive thoughts! Maybe its because I'm just lucky like that but my OCD kicks into high gear during these times and the thoughts play on an unrelenting loop in my head, its not uncommon for me to have the same loop for a full week. Drives me nuts, ready to rip out my hair!

Scary how you drove on the wrong side of the road, thank goodness I don't drive. Please take extra precautions while in this mood state.

Thank you for your reply. I thought it was an intense hypomanic episode. My OCD does kick in during what I would call my hypomanic periods, where thoughts play an unrelenting loop in my mind. It just never has been that intense before, at least that I can remember. There was one time I walked up to my car, and stood there wondering what the keys in my hand was for, and not recognizing my car at all, not even understanding what I was to do next. Then my awareness returned after what seemed to be a few minutes. This was scary to me. Periods of disassociation?

What peeved me was after I explained this to my doctor, who did not review my case file before seeing me, he then just went on to his regular routine, asking me how my medicines are working out, and so on like a normal visit with no mood stabilizer, and no adjustment to activating antidepressants. This is the one who downgraded my diagnosis to Bipolar NOS. I wish he would take these episodes more seriously. I was the one who had to insist on the mood stabilizer which has now made a big difference to me.