[HelpMeUnderstand]

Hi,
First I would like to say, HELP!!
Sorry, that's just what I feel like shouting right now.
I have two anxiety disorders plus chronic depression and a sleeping disorder. My brother has Bipolar, and needless to say, our disorders clash! I'm VERY sensitive right now because of my depression and when he gets "mad" I feel so awful and spiral into deeper depression. I'm sure things I do due to my disorders and problems affect his bipolar also.
I'm concerned that he doesn't think he has bipolar. He won't give me a straight answer, but I can tell by the way he acts, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't think he has it. He used to. He went to the doctor for it, got on some medicine, got off because it made him a "zombie", then decided not to get on any medication because he was afraid it would make him lose his creativity. He wants to make video and computer games, so that's important to him. But, how I wish he would get on some medicine or do SOMEthing! Our mom has Alzheimer's and gets upset also when he gets "mad", so things are just a mess and very stressful.
Can anyone tell me what makes a bipolar person "mad"? He has told us he's not mad at US.....but he still bites our heads off sometimes. He doesn't appear to have manic episodes. He doesn't do wild things. I don't understand it. Does something set off a bipolar sufferer and then they suddenly feel really angry? What are they angry at? It seems like I do things (not on purpose, of course) to make him angry, but I have no idea if it's me or something else. I wonder what it could be?? Is there any way to know? Can I help in any way?
By the way, I know it's very hard on a bipolar sufferer - please don't think I'm not saying that. This is just my side of things. And I'm also going through a very difficult time in my life, have no friends except online (and none who would understand this), and I feel the need to vent. I hope venting is accepted here.
Thanks!

[gayleggg]

He may be having what they call a mixed episode, which usually includes irritablity. That could be the cause of his outbursts but only a doctor could correctly diagnose something like that. And if he doesn't agree to medication there is not a lot you can do about it. However, there are many people that manage bipolar without meds they have to really work at it and know what their triggers are.

[HelpMeUnderstand]

Gayle, I only just now saw your response. Thanks for your help. Yeah, seeing as how my brother doesn't think he even has bipolar, and is very stubborn, I seriously doubt I could talk him into seeing a doctor or getting on meds. And since he doesn't think he HAS bipolar, what can I do at all? Change my reaction to his episodes, I guess? This is just plain hard (for both of us.)

[Standup2me]

Anything can set me off when I am mixed.

For me, the best thing that anyone can do when I am like that
is to ride out the storm with me

[outlaw sammy]

IF - AND ONLY IF your brother has type 1 bipolar disorder, then it's possible that even a manic episode can cause him to become quite angry. Both manic and mixed episodes have symptoms of irritation and agitation that can translate to aggressive hostility at times.

[shortandcute]

Wow, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate. It's really hard to say exactly what will trigger someone with bipolar because we can be so unpredictable and things that normally would not bother us can, out of nowhere, suddenly throw us into a rage. (My daughter has even told me that she often doesn't know how to act around me, because one day she will joke around with me and I'll go along with it and joke back, then the next time, I'll fly into a rage.) So I'm sure it's not you in particular.

It sounds like you are all in a stressful situation anyway, and as you said, your disorders are probably clashing. Often people get kind of irritated with people who suffer from depression because they think those people should just buck up. It's not really anyone's fault or anything, just people don't understand if they're not there. And as far as his not admitting his bipolar:: that's often typical. I know every case is different, but that can be a pretty common bipolar trait. I have done that several times throughout the years.

It sounds to me that no one is really trying to hurt anyone else, you just all have a lot on your plates. And I know you aren't trying to say anything bad about those of us who have bipolar, you are just trying to figure things out. It's hard to deal with someone who's bipolar anyway--and I know having depression, anxiety, and sleep issues can make things a lot more difficult.

Are there any support groups in your area for people in your situation? Here is a good website that I like: Depression & Bipolar Support Alliance - Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance . It's geared towards people who suffer from depression or bipolar, and their loved ones. Good luck!