[r010159]

My friends know I am BP. I have been through "episodes" of hypomania, mixed modes, and depression. They know that if I am not medicated properly I can spin into depression. They know with my mixed mode all of the terrible problems I had. I sometimes could not function when I was with them at the restaurant. They know I have had episodes like this all my life. They know due to crashes I
have lost my last two jobs.

Every so often, one tells me that he thinks I should go of of all my medications. I though they were the ones with the mental problems when they suggested such a thing. Are they crazy? Obviously I need to be on medication.

Then it has just occurred to me why they thought this way. Even though I have been on medication all the time, I still had these problems. So they thought it was the drugs doing this to me. This is where the stigma of BP and the meds came into the picture. They might of also thought since the meds are not working, maybe I would be better without them. The meds did actually cause my hands to shake so much.

What about finding the right meds and the possibility of remission? How about no more crashing and not being able to hold down a job months at a time? How about no more terrible mixed modes? How about no more panic attacks? This appears to be an enlightened viewpoint for them. So my friends have not been very supportive, in particular concerning my meds, and therefore, my BP diagnosis.

So who else has had people in their lives tell them they need to get off of the meds you are on? How did you feel about this?

[luckyme808]

My family has never said that I should go off my meds. And they say the right things. But I just get the feeling they think my doc is wrong, lol.

@r010159: Sorry to hear about your friends' misunderstandings. For "outsiders" it can be really hard to get a sense of what BP can do to a person, as well as understand the role of meds. I try to be as tolerant as possible when listening to uninformed opinions, and then explain my standpoint the best I can.

Mum wants me to wean myself off medication this summer (not going to happen). She thinks that my mood stabilizers are turning me into a dull zombie, and also dislikes my reliance on benzos for sleep.

I know that she's uninformed but ultimately means well. So I listen to her with as much patience as I can muster. Sometimes I snap and tell her that she doesn't understand that with BP, I need to be taking at least my mood stabilizers for the rest of my life. Yes, I don't like the cognitive dulling, disorientation, dizziness, drowsiness, etc. either. These are compromises that I accept living with, because the alternatives (psychosis, suicidal ideation, irresponsible financial decisions, inexplicable crying spells, etc.) are so much worse.

[Standup2me]

My ex-hubby thought that taking the meds cured me

He was non-stop nagging at me to stop taking them

Some people are just plain stupid

[Victoria'smom]

My father use to hide my meds when I visited. When my mom got sick of seeing me tear up the house and seeing me go through withdraw they would magically appear on my dressers (this is as a visiting adult). I get the opposite from friends I get please stay on meds.

[PoorPrincess]

Yes, amazing, isn't it?
I have a lifelong, long distance friend who is a nurse, RN.
Her response to my latest distress was to urge me to titrate off the meds completely and to do a cleansing fast. ?? Made no sense whatsoever.

[TheatreKid]

I have friends who don't believe in meds or vaccines, but thankfully, aside from the semi-regular column or photo with text they post to facebook that is directed to everyone, they don't tell me how I should live my life.

The only medication anyone has ever suggested I should stop taking is testosterone, because it might be causing more intense mood episodes. I will not stop taking testosterone, it's just something I will not consider, and my doctors won't consider it either. I would be doomed to live somewhere in between genders, a menstruating, female-shaped, bearded man. People who aren't trans don't realize this though, and I don't hold any ill feelings towards people for suggesting it, they don't know. They were just trying to help.

[benzenering]

My husband is my "when are you getting off those crazy meds" person. I don't understand it either. Without them, I'm a suicidal manic depressive mess of a woman. I think he sees some of the side effects and remembers a time when I didn't have a hand tremor from lithium, but he forgets what I am without the meds. I don't think he's being a jerk, I think he just cares in the wrong way.

[Marshellette]

Do what you want, not what your friends want.

[Trippin2.0]

Nobody liked me medicated, not my daughter, bf, mother, or friends. Though in the end I hated medicated me more than any of them did. But only once I was back to "normal" did I "get" what they were saying...

But its not about your friends or your family. Its about your choices and making the ones that suit you best. Because in the end, you're the one that has to live with the consequences of your decisions.

[SillyKitty]

Until my last episode (inpatient) my husband was constantly on me to get off my meds. He still wants me off the ones I take mostly for sleep, but I'm alone with my young one at night, so I get it.

My mom wants me off all of them. She calls me daily to update me on new meds and the side effects. Even ones I'm not taking.

[krisakira]

When I was in high school and had panic disorder, I took a med called Zoloft to help with the panic attacks. I have had people tell me I can't be on the med forever, and that I should deal with it without the meds, etc. Yet when I tried to go off them, and I had a panic attack as the result, they would say things like "How could you let this happen again?" Clearly they were not understanding the role of my medication. I just put it off as them being ignorant and have let it go now.

[r010159]

Originally Posted by krisakira

When I was in high school and had panic disorder, I took a med called Zoloft to help with the panic attacks. I have had people tell me I can't be on the med forever, and that I should deal with it without the meds, etc. Yet when I tried to go off them, and I had a panic attack as the result, they would say things like "How could you let this happen again?" Clearly they were not understanding the role of my medication. I just put it off as them being ignorant and have let it go now.

It is willful ignorance. IMO there is a difference. I am thinking that it has some kind of stigma attached to it, either with me being BP, or the taking of my medication for it.

I will say due to this discussion, I am understanding better those who stay off of meds altogether. And if their life still works for them (most of the time), why not? There is allot of evidence, like side effects, that can be found to support their position. But being off of meds does not work for me. I found that out the hard way. OMG did I! And based on my experiences I think others like my friends should be able to understand why. But they willfully do not want to understand. This is what irks me!

[Bipolarchic14]

My friends encouraged me to take meds. My family has mixed thoughts.

[Hbomb0903]

Originally Posted by psychehedone

@r010159: Sometimes I snap and tell her that she doesn't understand that with BP, I need to be taking at least my mood stabilizers for the rest of my life. Yes, I don't like the cognitive dulling, disorientation, dizziness, drowsiness, etc. either. These are compromises that I accept living with, because the alternatives (psychosis, suicidal ideation, irresponsible financial decisions, inexplicable crying spells, etc.) are so much worse.

Exactly. I don't want the chaos. I will find a mix of medication that keeps it at bay, and while I'm well I'll learn better coping methods for when I swing again. I think meds are just a tool. We have to learn to live with ourselves.

My friends and family have evolved as I have. I hated myself and my bipolar for so long and wanted them to accept me, but I didn't accept myself. I have found people more supportive lately, and it is suprising and encouraging. I feel if we can, we should try to educate people and not take their obliviousness to heart. We cause ourselves needless pain by taking their idiocy personally....but I guess that is another thing we do so well as BP.

[Curiosity77]

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

My friends encouraged me to take meds. My family has mixed thoughts.

Same for me. My friends have seen me unwell, and I think I scared them, so they want me to stay on meds. My family have only seen me after the fact, in hospital, so they don't understand the full extent of what happens to me. I've always covered up my symptoms well, so they don't realize how severe it can be.

I'm not in the habit of discussing my mental health, particularly anything as specific as my meds, with my friends. It just doesn't come up. It really isn't their business quite honestly. I mean, I don't really want to know about their health details either. Family's different. We talk in more detail about such things, but not friends. Knowing my friends, they would not be the type to give their opinion about my own medical decisions. We tend to stay out of each others' business about those kinds of matters.

[luckyme808]

My boyfriend is the main reason I stay on the meds. I think I did "okay" without them, prior to being diagnosed. I mean, I was on Effexor for my anxiety and I think I did okay with that. He, on the other hand, remembers a different Me. He has lived with unmedicated bipolar before and he has said he refuses to do that again, so if I go off my meds, he leaves. It's that simple. So, I stay on my meds.