Haven't posted in a while!

I had my first psychologist visit a couple weeks ago and had a panic attack as i was very uncomfortable and as juvenile as it sounds didn't have my mom with me. the appointment went by so much faster than i expected and i didn't hate it as much as i thought i would. she also suspects bipolar disorder and she is in the process of finding a psychiatrist who can see me the soonest. in the mean time i am struggling greatly with school. i came off lexapro cold turkey and from what i can tell no withdrawal effects. i know this wasn't the wisest decision but i was still having anxiety attacks and i am so tired of trying SSRI after SSRI. THEY ARENT WORKING!! i feel as if I've been hypomanic for days now.i want to do everything at once and i've been so irritable. I've been snapping at people before my brain ever registered what they said. I've wanted to do everything all at once. School work, party, drink, smoke, drive, scream, run. everything. I've been getting around 4 hours of sleep a night and i feel fine with just the usual grogginess in the morning when i wake up. i can't focus in school. I'm forgetting things i know i shouldn't. almost missed my job interview today because i completely forgot i had it and this job is HUGE to me. i forget questions halfway through my answer and this happened multiple times in my interview and it made me feel so stupid. i feel great but i am so frustrated. i know theres no magic pill and this is going to take time but i have finals coming up and i can hardly sit still enough to write this right now much less study science. i've been hypersexual lately and have acted out on these feelings and i just know when this high goes and i get depressed it's going to be the worst its been yet...

I'm glad you're on the road to finding some help! I cannot take antidepressants - they are at best ineffectual and at worst send me into mania. When you get a doctor ask about mood stabilizers. He or she may want to prescribe an antipsychotic but for me they are also useless without a mood stabilizer also. Plus they're not good for long term use unless necessary to contain psychosis. In that case the benefits may outweigh the risks.

I hope you get a pdoc appt soon.