I hate this.

New gal,

Yes I have. I've watched my husband go through years of depression without lift. Even after being correctly diagnosed it took 3 years to find a combo that "made him feel human". Until 6ish weeks ago I was depressed for 6 months.

I have had a year long depression. Its definitely posdible and will eventually lift. I find when I am depressed if I make myself get up and I font mean out of bed all the time just wake up after 8 hours I have a better mood. If I sleep 10 or more hours I feel more sluggishness and brain fog and eventually always get suicidal. I have found my sleep pattern is a huge part of how my mood will be. I seem to be seasonal. Its been 6 yrs since diagnosed and in winter months im more depressed and seclude myself and spring my mood starts to lift. One thing that helped me was gardening. Not a huge amount just some flower pots and a couple tomato plants. I think being out in the sun helps tremendously. I do however have a hard time at first making myself go outside. So some days I may just sit on the steps for a few minutes and work my way up to a goal of being out of bed all day. Hang in there. I do know how you are feeling bc I have been there. I thought at the time I would never be ok again but one day it just lifted. Im trying to come out of a depression now. I have had some major life changes. I no longer live in my nice house where I can go iut and play with the plants. Im now in a small apartment and dont have my kids everydsy anymore since my seperation 6 months ago. I need to find a new outlet. Im not quite sure what it will be yet. Last night I did not sleep except for in 15 minute increments. I think its my new med I went on a few days ago. I want out of my depression but not manic. Mania is what got me here in this small apartment. I just wanted you to know it is possible and you are not alone. Hugs

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Hate to continue this hijack, but just wanted to thank you all for your responses. I guess I just have to keeping holding onto hope that this horrible depression will end someday.

Hijacking is okay if it helps. I'm crawling along myself...

I have been away 15 years. Only recently have I seriously considered holding down a job I wonder how long I should wait before determining that I am ready for work? I know I cannot go back to being a software engineer or systems administrator because I have been away for too long. So I also need to figure out what my next career will be. Big decisions are almost here for me to make.

But back to the topic, I agree things can get much better. I have been there before. I found I needed to keep slugging it out with help from the doctor and be patient.