[TashaAnne63]

Okay, so I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure I'm Bipolar, or something like it. What I'm wondering, if I am Bipolar, is it normal for the cycles to be THIS fast? I never know what I'm going to be: Manic or depressed. Literally, it changes every 6 or 7 hours. Sometimes it's a "gradual" change throughout that 6 or 7 hours, but other times it will be at its peak, then crash all the way the lowest point possible with no warning...

I've never been diagnosed, never seen a professional, never talked to anyone, never taken medication... I'm only 14... I'm still a pretty new member here, so I haven't even talked to anyone on here.

Can anyone tell me what's going on?

[BlueInanna]

Hi TashaAnne,
I have kids around your age, they both have bp diagnosis. The doctor did say that kids often cycle faster than adults. But you really need professional advice. It could be many things. Can you get with a therapist for starters?

[BlackPup]

Welcome to PC
Sorry to say but I can't answer your question cos it might be BP or it could be something else. BP does have a ultra rapidly cycling form (and I think it is common for kids with BP to cycle rapidly) but it could also be something else. That's why we see professionals about it. If you could get your doctor to refer you to see a psychiatrist it would be a good idea. Also do you have a counsellor at school you could talk to or maybe see a psychologist or therapist to talk things through with.

If this isn't possible or even if it is I would recommend writing up a mood chart with all your mood changes on it - highs and lows for each day etc, try to think of if something triggered the feelings or if they came from nowhere. Also try keeping a journal of your thoughts - it can be really helpful to write things down cos it helps you to process what you are thinking.

[TashaAnne63]

I do the Mood Tracker on PC almost every day, sometimes twice a day. That's why I'm kinda freaked out, actually, because the chart looks like this:

+20
(6 hours later)
-15
(26 hour later)
+37
(4 hours later)
-5
(4 hours later)
-26
(9 hours later)
+14

+ = mania
- = depression

[BlackPup]

definitely think you need to see a professional...

[eloquentdisaster]

I can't tell you if it is bp or not, but my mother (who works with kids who have mental disorders and disabilities) once worked with a five year old boy. He was diagnosed as bp1, and cycled almost every hour. As well, I was diagnosed at 15. I cycled usually every couple of days.
As the others have said, I would strongly recommend seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist to help you with this. If it is interfering with your life, it is important for you get help.

[Bipolar1Disorder]

It is normal for a person with bipolar disorder, but you need to go get diagnosed instead a second guessing yourself into bipolarity. Bipolar is not a pretty thing to have especially bipolar 1 w/ psychotic ideations. In your case it could just be puberty or the like.

[TashaAnne63]

Originally Posted by eloquentdisaster

I can't tell you if it is bp or not, but my mother (who works with kids who have mental disorders and disabilities) once worked with a five year old boy. He was diagnosed as bp1, and cycled almost every hour. As well, I was diagnosed at 15. I cycled usually every couple of days.
As the others have said, I would strongly recommend seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist to help you with this. If it is interfering with your life, it is important for you get help.

It's not really interfering with my life that much... But it has been driving me crazy. I don't want to go see a therapist; I've just learned to live with it. I was just wondering if that's what it is.

[BlueInanna]

Why not see a therapist?

[Victoria'smom]

Therapists along w PC can help. If your parents don't allow it. Keep tracking so you know when things are getting bad and the ER is needed.

[Nessa213]

I noticed that you originally posted this thread in August. Are the mood swings still as severe (i.e. every six hours and to such extremes) as they were in August, or have they gotten better? Very early on I don't think I shifted moods that frequently, so I can't speak from personal experience on that part. But, like you, I did just learn to "live with it" at the time and wasn't officially diagnosed until I was 19. By then I'd been living with it for about 5 years.

I ignored the diagnosis and when the school's doctor sent me away with the names of three different psychiatrists to pick from, I remember walking back to my dorm room and burning the paper. 'I can deal with this on my own', I thought 'I'm not as weak as he thinks I am'. Now, over 10 years after that, I was continuing my "live with it" attitude. I can tell you that NO good has come from that. I'm not going to try and scare you, so I'll just leave it at that.

I will be meeting with my first therapist next week at the age of 31 and last week at the family doctor I broke down in literal tears. No good comes from "living with it". I very, VERY strongly urge you to try to find help as soon as you think you may have a problem. It will only mess with your mind the longer you ignore it. If you think seeing a therapist/doctor is admitting that you are weak, I can tell you that are dramatically mistaken. In fact, it would be one of the strongest things you could do. It took me over 15 years to realize that.

I do know that a lot of high schools offer counselors that you should be able to go see if your parents won't allow you to see a therapist. The more you try to ignore it, the more it WILL interfere with your life.

(As a side note.... omg you're a Harry Potter fan?!?! Eeeeeee!!! Ok, I'm done now...)

My onset was at age nine, and it screwed up my life to the point that if I had anyone around me with half a brain that actually gave a care then I would have been forced to see someone about it. It destroys children.

[catsrhelm]

TashaAnne63, there is a type of bi-polar called ultra fast cycling. If I was you, I would try and get mental health care. Talk to your parents, a counsellor, or just some adult that you trust. Good luck.

[TashaAnne63]

I wish that PC would send me notifications whenever more people answer a thread...

I literally only just got the last three messages...

Anyway, even though people are probably not even going to see this, I just want to update, anyway...

Since I started this thread, the symptoms I had been having are no where near as bad as they used to be. Instead of shifting once or twice a day, it's maybe once a week... Like before, though, there's generally never an explanation for the mood shift, I'm just all of the sudden empty-feeling, or depressed, or hyper & talkitive, or angry. The reason it didn't really affect my life before, is because I didn't let it. Don't get me wrong, I know that many people don't have control over it, but the thing is, I have really good physical self-control... I may be completely pissed, and wanting to rip someone's head off (figuratively!) in my head, but on the outside I keep up a blank facade. I'm not as good at not acting hyper, but being hyperactive isn't quite as destructive as being raging mad, so I don't try as much with that.

Granted, I don't always have as tight a rein on my words/voice tone, so sometimes I'm a bit... b****y, I suppose, when I'm mad...

And before you roll your eyes, thinking I was just jumping the gun or something on my self-diagnosis, let me tell you something - I had been having the symptoms for at least two years, but thinking about it lately, I can remember instances back even when I was 6 or 7 years old that can't really be explained away by circumstances... When I was really little, I didn't have near as good control of myself, physically, that I do, now. I don't think I really understood why it was bad to physically lash out, though I did understand on some level that mom and dad wouldn't like it, so I didn't do it around them. I can remember instances when I was little, I would get violently angry, and I would hit or kick myself, in attempt to calm down my rage. Hitting something may have worked just as well, but hitting a hard object hurt more for longer, and when the anger drained away it wasn't worth it. Eventually I came to realize that even though the pain didn't last all that long (maybe 10 seconds), it was not okay to hurt myself. I don't get the violent urges anywhere near as much as I used to, either... Now whenever I do, though, I throw things, and am pretty much always able to control myself enough to not aim for anything that would cause long lasting damage, hurt someone/myself, or anything like that.

Haha, that reminds me of something that happened a couple of months ago. I was inexplicably pissed, again, and I was helping my mom make dinner. I was cutting up a loaf of garlic bread to season it and put it in the oven, but it wasn't cooperating, and it really pissed me off, and so I ended up throwing it and the knife across the counter (safely, for the most part - it couldn't really go anywhere) with some sort of strangled, angry noise (that would be me resisting the urge to yell, of course). Mom then proceeds to look at me, raising her eyebrows and sarcastically saying, "Alright, there?" I'm just standing there, fists clenching, resisting the urge to hit something. She then tells me about how when she first married my dad, she would get mad, and throw picture frames at him across the house... and that by a year or so, there wasn't a single picture with glass in it for a lonnng time. As soon as she told me that, the anger just drained away, and I laughed, because honestly? Picturing mom throwing fits and picture frames is hilarious, to me. She's the most even-tempered lady I have ever known. We then proceeded to finish dinner, as if nothing had ever happened.

Anyway, what was I talking about? .... Oh, yeah! Symptoms. So, I'd been having symptoms fr a long time, and at the time of my posting the beginning thread, they had been escalating to absurd levels for the past month, which was the whole reason why I went looking for an online mental health area, in the first place.

If I had been older, I would've instantly considered going to a therapist, actually. That was how bad things were. It still wasn't necessarily affecting my actions, but it was screwing with my mind, not being able to know what I would feel in the next 30 minutes' time.

The reason I never considered a therapist was (and still is) because I don't want my parents to know anything. It would just cause wayyy too much drama... and my dad is a bit... eccentric, in his beliefs... There was this guy, the son of a friend of the family, who was bipolar. I don't exactly what type, but I know it was bad. As in, the kind where he just might stab you in a fit of anger, or try to kill himself from depression. My dad, funny guy that he is, thinks that pretty much any and all mental health problems are caused by demons... I've attempted to explain the science of different things to him, but he doesn't believe half the things doctors say, anyway, so it doesn't do much good.

So, me, telling dad I'm bipolar? Haha - no. Nuh-uh. Not happening.

Anyway... This is a freaking long post, but I wanted to give people an update, if they ever happen to stumble across this post, again... Lol