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Old May 01, 2014, 10:32 PM
lolie.rosa lolie.rosa is offline
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Did you had any psychotic episodes? If so, how often they happened? I'm new here and I'm glad I found this forum because I'm having a hard time understanding what happened with me. My pdoc told me to watch a Ted Talk by Elin Saks but it's anything like I've been through. She is schizo and her experience is pretty scary.

I've been recently diagnosed bipolar after one year untreated psychotic episode that lead to my forced hospitalization. It began slowly over the years as I got more and more paranoid about people speaking about me and harassing me at my work and my school. Then I quit work and school, locked myself at home and began writing furiously thinking I was some kind of genius with all sorts of ideas and theories from Economics to Architecture and publishing everything online mostly on Facebook for everyone to see. I started seing conspiracies all over the world and through History. I believed that hackers invaded my computer and there were webcams everywhere watching me 24/7, so I was unable even to take a shower with the lights on. I thought the cameras were in the light bulbs and the television watched me. I also thought I was commanding a revolution against the surveillance society with my posts online and the hackers were actually my friends spreading my words to the television producers in a way I thought every program in television and radio was speaking about me and what I wrote. But no one spoke directly of it, only indirectly since every media was under some masonic illuminati rule and couldn't speak directly about the revolution. I also believed all my family was part of the secret societies and against me and I had serious clashes with them untill they called the ambulance and took me to the hospital.

I never heard voices or saw things although I interpreted everything I saw or read or view in a crazy way. Since I left hospital I'm taking risperidone and valproic acid and I've been great since then. I only have troubles concentrating and being less creative than I usually am.

Since this was my only episode, I'm afraid it may happen again. How can I notice something weird is happening? Because I wasn't aware at all that I was getting crazy. Do psychotic episodes get any different from one time to another?

Sorry for my bad English and please don't use common abreviations used in this site because I didn't figure out what they mean yet.

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  #2  
Old May 02, 2014, 07:56 AM
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Victoria'smom Victoria'smom is offline
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I have mostly delusional thoughts, with a couple of very small auditory and visual hallucinations .between here and my therapist since I tend not to trust my husband at times. There's a thing called a reality tester. I do a event/ mood / thought chart. It's when you can't come up with the calming alternative that you need to look for outside help.

This is an example on how to test thoughts:
Exploring the Evidence

Belief: “A person is praying for me to die because he wants my girlfriend”

Evidence For I saw him praying

There are evil forces that can get you Evidence Against He could have been praying about something else God wouldn’t honor such a prayer

*coming up with alternative explanations helps the patient give up his/her belief!

Edited: yes my delusions have each been different from "I can give myself a tummy tuck" to "my in-laws are trying to kill me." It all depends on my current mood. How often I have psychosis is still up in the air depending who you ask.

Edited again: WELCOME
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Last edited by Victoria'smom; May 02, 2014 at 08:54 AM.
Thanks for this!
lolie.rosa
  #3  
Old May 02, 2014, 10:02 AM
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wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
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I've had two major psychotic episodes. In the first one I believed that another being was implanting thoughts in my head telling me to kill myself. I followed the thoughts because even though they weren't my own I felt I had to.

This time around it started with thinking my brain was trying to hurt me and get me to kill myself. I thought my husband was controlling me with medication. I eventually thought that it was an outside source trying to kill me or get me to kill myself, and I became terrified of strangers. Then I felt that everyone could hear my thoughts and knew what terrible things I was thinking. It ended with me accusing the ER doctors of calling social services to take my son away that night. Then I spent two days in the hospital scared shitless until the geodon started calming me down. Got out on Wednesday.

I'm still manic but at least my thousands of thoughts are normal just the speed is wrong lol.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
Thanks for this!
lolie.rosa
  #4  
Old May 02, 2014, 10:03 AM
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wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
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Oh and I don't have hallucinations.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
  #5  
Old May 02, 2014, 10:42 AM
r010159 r010159 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 View Post
Oh and I don't have hallucinations.
I have had only two episodes, both lasting about an hour. One time I saw the spirit of my dead grandfather. The hallucination seemed real. I also thought my mother was out yo poison me. Oh yes, there was one reoccurring episode that went on for several years. This is where I thought everyone was looking at me because of how I was different from other people. Nothing special, just different in a bad and obvious sort of way.
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Venlafaxine, Lamotragine, Buspirone, Risperidone
Thanks for this!
lolie.rosa
  #6  
Old May 02, 2014, 03:28 PM
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Dix888 Dix888 is offline
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I never heard voices or saw things although I interpreted everything I saw or read or view in a crazy way. Since I left hospital I'm taking risperidone and valproic acid and I've been great since then. I only have troubles concentrating and being less creative than I usually am.

Hi, I have had many many psychotic episodes. I thought the moon was talking to me, telling me to leave my apt. & walk (in high heels) 2 miles to a particular willow tree (3 willows conjoined), climb up & wait for the message.

I thought I was supposed to "go where pottery is made" (a Bible verse I turned to). So I called a friend (we were in college) & we went to the pottery classroom, sat outside it for 3 hours (from midnight to 3:00 a.m.) waiting for a message from God.

When working, I have "heard" people saying bad things about me, wanting me to quit, etc. I have seizures as well as bipolar (mostly manias). After a head injury, these got worse & my neurologist told me I had to quit driving & quit working. When working (all my life until age 55) I would often not be able to sleep more than 2 hours/night for weeks or months. My neurologist explained (& books I read confirmed this) that lack of sleep can cause hallucinations.

So after being put on Seroquel (to go along with Depakote & Alaprazolam--which helps vs. the OCD I also have) I was finally able to sleep. I rarely get hallucinations any more. Now & then if I haven't slept, or in Spring (for some reason) I do think I am being recorded by some unknown entity. But I can talk myself out of that.

Best wishes to you as you get better! Meds help & so does talking to others who have bipolar.
Thanks for this!
lolie.rosa
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