[Cocinella]

Hello to all of you there reading my post.

Well I am shifting moods again, from feeling incredibli good (but I think not manic) for about 2 and a half days, I then got really nervous well, iritable is the more exact word, then yesterday all sad again and this morning, crying and feeling sorry to myself.

I am asking myself will this shifting with no particular reason ever stop? I mean is this just a thing I'll have to live and suffer all my life? True, my shifts aren't that strong as they were before. But I have to tell you a thing I am noticing, even when I was at my worst state of mind, I hardly ever felt "normal". ( though I don't even know how that feels like anymore)

I had shifts from super happy to super crying my eyes out. And no normal days in between. I was shifting in every minute (thanks to Zolofit which made me crazy as hell)

Anyways my question for you out there, when will I know that I feel normal? This is so frustrating, when you start feeling ok (though with a lot of side effect of derealization which I ALWAYS have even when I am feeling ok).

I KNOW all of people, even those without any mental health problems, are shifting, but even though this that I am feeling is not as extreme as it was before, I am still shifting in weird ways. Where is the point of bursting into tears with no reason?

Will it stop? Is it too much to ask to feel angry when it's normal to feel angry, to feel sad when you see a sad movie or if (hopefully not!) someone dies? Feeling happy when doing something that (usually) made you happy?

Tomorrow it'll be 5 weeks since I am on 100mg of Lamictal. Still not feeling myself, but with I hope 70% better than I did. Is it still hope for me not to be afraid of shifting all the time? I am even scared of changing places, going on a travel, cus I am scared something might happen, that I will burst into tears or be totally under attacks of anxiety.

NEED YOUR HELP, SUPPORT AND ADVICE. Thanks in advance

[Hbomb0903]

I have been on a lot of me changes and feel this same way. I don't know how I should feel but hate this. I don't know the the either. Got a new pdoc that I see Tues. Hoping.

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[Hbomb0903]

Hugs

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I hope you feel better soon.

[Cocinella]

Thanks for the kind words

I to have pdc appointment day after tomorrow and hopefully I'll get some answers.
It's hard to function everywhere when your feeling like this. And I am extra sensitive to, always have been, now even more.

Though doc said AD would trhow me in mania since I don't have depression or anxity, I still miss the feeling of being on AD. Sure, I had no sex drive, but everything else was so good. I was self confident and heroic for the 1st time in my life. But that just isn't my personality I guess.

I hope we'll all be better soon.

Hugs!