Bipolar, anxiety or mood swing?

I have only "officially" been diagnosed with ADD and nothing else, there's got to be something else going on but I can't find what. This morning was great, I finally felt productive. I went out to eat and take care of a few errands and even stopped by a construction site to see about employment. Got home, called around some more, talked to recruiting offices and surfed the web, all is going great until I land on a forum that mentions Truck Abandonment (I fit the bill), after my Semi accident a few weeks back, same type feelings emerged. Overwhelmed, irrational and the need to be anywhere but there. I called the Tow Company, packed a bag and hiked away. That once piece of information I saw today flipped me over and put me in that bad state of mind. I'm now struggling with holding onto the confidence I had an hour ago. Feeling as if there's no point, I will always have meltdowns and never be able to keep a job. No need to add more detail, I just currently feel very lost and confused. I have an appointment to start Medication again in 2 weeks. I can't beat these feelings. Yesterday I went from awful to terrific from the pure fact I drove 3 minutes to the store and bought a box of Mac N cheese to eat. Its so frustrating and all I ever run across is General Symptoms, broad enough that with enough effort one could think himself to classify as almost any illness he wants. I have no idea what to tell my doctor. It seems like it's always the same childish questions. "Rate your happiness on a 1-10" "do you feel depressed" "do you have trouble sleeping". It all seems so ignorant and inconclusive. And it makes me worry non stop that they just feed people whatever brings them the money or whatever people complain less about. I just want to be comfortable and stable with what I am taking. Everything I've had always makes me paranoid deep inside, I don't trust the decisions. Last time I saw him he didn't know what Tyrosine was, How foolish can things get? But With no income I have no say in what DR I see, parents wish to be control freaks and they love the guy because he's at a Christian Counseling Center.

And I can't even trust me own judgements, maybe I'm pretending to blow things out of proportion, maybe I'm normal and just like to crap on everything around me, maybe I don't understand what being happy or sad is. I hardly see the point in the title question anymore after venting. I do but I don't. Like I said, lost and confused and I feel ashamed cause I shouldn't be wasting your time like this and I feel childish and dumb and whatever I wish to make up as I don't know if I even feel true to any of my thoughts anymore.

I just want to feel better but I am scared I will never know why I am the way I am, or how to even begin to tell my doc what is wrong. Because what if it is a tiny mood swing that I fuel to get attention? And what if he gives me something I never needed and I end up slowly losing who I once was deep inside and not even realizing it? I don't even know if that's a good or bad thing, I can't decide whether I love or hate who I am. I probably sound silly, I need encouragement

You don't sound silly at all. Trying to understand mental illness and our own experiences with it is challenging and confusing, at least it is for me. I second guess myself sometimes, like maybe I've made mountains out of molehills, and maybe I was just under stress when I had episodes, etc. But my pdoc reminds me that it got really bad, and that my reactions were far outside of normal reactions to stress. Still, it's maddening to try to figure out which parts are caused by illness, and which parts are normal. I don't think we need to pathologize every emotion, but extremes need to be taken seriously because they can be so destructive. I find posting here and getting feedback helps me figure my thinking and moods out, because I want more self awareness. I don't have any advice, except to keep talking about or posting about what is happening for you until it starts to make more sense.