[Angry1541]

G'day,

Thought I would ask a simple question -- I was recently diagnosed BP2, which was a shock as I was always under impression I had ADHD...anyways...for years I self-medicated with alcohol...but I quit that a year ago and recently I have been actually feeling my emotional state as it is for the first time in YEARS.

That said, I was in a depressive funk for about the last few months (ever since we moved into your new house). My wife basically made me make and appt with my pdoc to see what's up...and they scripted me Zoloft.

However, even before I picked up the Zoloft, (like frm the day that I made the effort to get help), I suddenly felt the depression had lifted, almost completely.

So, my question is, does anyone notice depression lift because of specific action or not? Does anyone notice it come on because of something very specific? Or is just random? Same thing with (hypo)manic episodes, are they triggered, random, both? What are your triggers for either depression or (hypo)mania?

Also, lastly I have an biting the hit to my bank acct and starting regular therapy early next month (gonna be spendy, but...)

Some of this will probably come out in my sessions, but I am curious what you all think?

thanks

[Piraeus]

Hi Angry1540. Nice to meet you. I know it can be pricey to see a doc, but it's the best course of action you can take right now. For me, sad things trigger my depression. I was listening to a song and all of a sudden I burst out in tears. Check out the BP forum.
There are some great folks over there.

Sincerely,

Piraeus

[littlemiss44]

Hi! Glad you asked these questions...my hypo and depression are linked to stress. Too many things to do triggers both. I'm so glad to hear that the zoloft is helping you. I've n been suffering from a depressive episode for almost a year...I'm currently in an iop program at the hospital where they increased my lexapro. It's made all the difference in the world. I was hypo 2 months ago and spent 1200 at the casino. Boy did I regret that move. But now things are looking up. I'm on ssd for my mental illnesses. I suffer from bpd bp2.depression adhd and ptsd. They've all been hard to treat tho. Do you think stress has a big part of yr disorder? I can't handle working ft so I just have a little pt job. Days I don't feel good I just call in. Do you work ft?

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[Angry1541]

Yeah...I am pretty sure stress is huge part...I think the buying and moving out a rental into my own house, coupled with layoffs (not me thankfully) at work and other family members having health issues, and me quitting drinking, all around the same time, drove me into a deep depressive state...the more I reflect on it...which only just broke a couple weeks ago.

[Angry1541]

I guess another question I have is when the mood swings is it just like flicking a switch? I mean one day I was depressed, woke up the next day and I wasn't....anyone else experience that?

[Hbomb0903]

I have had it happen that quick and used much the same words. Just about a month ago my depression disappeared and I was so happy.... But then had a bad reaction to lamictal and now I'm back in this empty lifeless shell. Begging for relief because this is just existing.

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[Angry1541]

Yeah...that's kinda how I would have described it...I was just existing, get up, coffee, dress, work, home, tv, bed....rinse repeat over and over and over....with nothing of any substance in my life. maybe flashes, moments where things were good, or just okay, but otherwise, dull, like a cloudy day...it's sound trite, but that's what it was like, just lemme sit infront of the tv...don't ask me to anything, I will probably do it, but it will be like dragging myself to get it done....like dragging myself to work, etc.

[littlemiss44]

Ya its like flipping a switch. It can come straight out of the blue. Yr right...the depression is hardest to treat. It's so tough freaking with it. I'm learning how to be happy without alcohol too. It's hard to find things that do make me happy but I keep trying. I'll never give up. Keep the faith. Coming on here gives me lots of support.

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What meds bring a person down without hitting into a depression. I'm still bouncing up and down. When I started Depacote 7 months ago, it zombied me out during the winter which probably was a good thing. As the weather began to warm, I've hit a manic mode internally. My Depacote was raised from 750 mg daily to 1000 mg about a month ago, but I've felt no difference. I'm crawling the walls to enjoy/do outdoor activities, but money is obselete. If I had a few gazillion dollars, I would travel the globe. So, I get bored which makes me isolate.

It's just a constant up and down, and I've finally learned why I can be irritable when I'm in mania mode and why I just sit and think when I'm in a low depressed mode.

In short, I know nothing about the meds available and how they help with bipolar. This is all so new to me it has been devasting.

[Angry1541]

"In short, I know nothing about the meds available and how they help with bipolar. This is all so new to me it has been devasting."

Yeah...it's very new to me as well -- I would say it's devastating, but it's not been easy...and there's a lot of think about.

[pawn78]

Unfortunately, it can take a long time to find the right medications for a bipolar person... But if you are patient and very honest with your doctor, hopefully you can find the right match for you.

[sui generis]

Originally Posted by Angry1541

I guess another question I have is when the mood swings is it just like flicking a switch? I mean one day I was depressed, woke up the next day and I wasn't....anyone else experience that?

Yep, this happens to me. Generally not that quickly though (I can think of one instance when that did happen to me in the past month). For me, it's not triggered by anything, it just happens. I hate that

[Angry1541]

Originally Posted by sui generis

Yep, this happens to me. Generally not that quickly though (I can think of one instance when that did happen to me in the past month). For me, it's not triggered by anything, it just happens. I hate that

Yeah...there may be triggers for me...like stress, but I think other times, it just happens outta the blue, or the triggers are random and subtle and I don't know they are triggers, like certain songs that I happen to hear snare me and pull me into the mood expressed in the song, or something.

Right now, I am just trying to handle the zingy feeling I have from the bump in my Zoloft....man I can't sit STILL!!!! don't feel overly anxious or anything, just like I NEED to bounce my leg or rock in my desk chair while I work....which is okay, cuz no one cares I do it...but it's definitely more noticeable to me...since I bumped from 50 to 100mg on the Zoloft...

Good thing is I think the Zoloft is at least keeping my mood up...just hope as it builds up to full strength over the next week or so, I do go too far in the manic direction...don't really have much confidence in the Gabapentin keeping me from swing too far the other way...but we'll see....

Will keep you all posted....after having thought I just had ADHD all my life, this Bipolar thing is a different beast altogether....and much more noticeable when I am thinking about it...

Thanks all...

[littlemiss44]

Good luck with all the meds...it's a shock to find out yr New diagnosis. I too thought I just had adhd and anxiety. It can be a rough road but hang in there. It will get better.

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[Angry1541]

Originally Posted by littlemiss44

Good luck with all the meds...it's a shock to find out yr New diagnosis. I too thought I just had adhd and anxiety. It can be a rough road but hang in there. It will get better.

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Yeah, I know...strange how I can be successful professionally, but my home life is what suffers, I think because I can let me guard down at home, don't have to pretend things are "all okay", so my wife gets the brunt of my depression, anger, flightiness.

Things have be really bad for me to suffer and it be outwardly noticeable at work -- though my productivity swings all over the place...from super productive and totally on top of everything, to barely hanging in there....I know that's not right...I need an even keel, not this all over the map thing....

[Standup2me]

Agree - it is sometimes like flipping a switch.

Last week, I was so low that I would hide under the blankets and cry for hours on end.

Then, while sitting at home, crying, a big blue jay sat on my deck, mere meters away from me.
He was so happy, it made me feel like life had promise

[Angry1541]

I hear a lot of people talking about crying -- I don't think I have cried (except when my grandparents passed) since I was a young teenager...

I wonder why?