[tabbiecat]

I was diagnosed at 18 with bipolar disorder, and then at 22 I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and told I did not seem to have bipolar.

I had a bad experience with Zoloft causing me to be manic as a teen, and again when they prescribed it when I was 21. Other than that, I don't know..

I recently started Cipralex.. It's been almost 3 weeks, and (with caffeine, which I'm sensitive to) I have felt pretty good! I have been more motivated, I feel like my depression has faded significantly, I can talk to people, I'm getting out more, I'm not worrying about every little thing. I am not angry or irritable. I feel like my perception of things is clearer.. On top of that, I am sleeping every night from 10 or 11 PM until 7 AM and getting out of bed easily most days. I sometimes nap during the day if I feel tired. Colours have seemed brighter to me and I feel somewhat euphoric. I have been feeling really good and focused on treatment. I do feel more confident. I am eating more(had a low appetite and often didn't eat and then would binge while depressed). I can sit still and I don't have restless legs. I am interested in going things that I haven't done in a long time. I look at my kids and feel really happy with them, and I feel like I understand them better now.

I tend to get caught up in texting and when I'm online(which is only for a couple hours each day) I research a lot, but this is something I do even when depressed.. I just like to talk to people and research.

With my borderline, I am open to using a mood stabilizer to try to help my moods stay even so I am not as easily triggered by things that upset me.

I am just wondering if I sound like I am manic, because my dr has me paranoid that I will become out of control on antidepressants.

EDIT: I should add, I quit caffeine today because it makes me more irritable in the long-term. Today I have felt not AS motivated, but still not horrible. And I have been more tired.

[pawn78]

for me, hypomania feels like this:
lot of energy, confidence, good mood, euphoric at times, takes risks, erratic mood swings.

for me, mania feels like this:

I AM GOD.
hahaha, high energy, immortal, super powers, can read minds, etc. etc.

[Talanic]

I get the feeling like I'm high on tons of drugs. I feel overly confident, full of energy, I have been known to study all day long without rest, I feel like I'm the most amazing person in the world...

Very euphoric pretty much. In a very unnatural way.

Very hard to sleep when I'm like that as well. Before meds I would walk back and forth in the living room for 4 hours straight in the middle of the night. So I pretty much get no sleep.

Some people get irritable, but I've found that's not how I experience mania.

Also pawn is right... You really do feel like GOD

[Mental reward]

I feel incredibly euphoric to the point where my head almost feels like it's floating away, a serious high. I can't eat or sleep much and tend to drink a lot, am paranoid out of my mind, think I can read minds and that others know my thoughts, completely and utterly INSANE ideas and notions, ridiculous sexdrive, put myself in potentially dangerous situations, and make impulsive and irrational decisions that have no basis in reality, hallucinations and delusions, irritable not so much it's just straight up rage intermittently dispersed with feeling the euphoria...OH and can't forget!
As pawn and Talanic mentioned.. I'm basically GOD. Last time I thought I was the
Reincarnated Egyptian goddess Isis..

[manic_monday]

I think everyone experiences mania differently. Some people do outlandish things, while others have a small shift in mood. For me personally, I talk a lot, almost uncontrollably, and get very excited about everything. I want to do and see everything and be around a ton of people and somehow prove to them that I'm not this depressed anti-social human being. For me, my mania is a lot about proving myself for some reason. Proving that I'm worth something and I can be more than my disorder.

I've found that most people don't even realize I'm acting a little more hyper than usual, it just appears like I'm having a really good day and I'm happy about everything. But I tend to lose track of my budgets and start overspending on things I don't really need. That and the hypersensitivity to everything is what mania looks like in my life.

[tljim]

Has anyone predicted things that later happened during the manic stage?

I have identified these things for me (in no particular order):


1.) Talking - I tend to talk very fast, and have about a thousand different things to say. I also tend to get really annoyed while waiting for others to respond. It is like they can't respond fast enough for me.


2.) Jittery/Movement - I can't sit still for very long. I am always moving in some way, rather it be my hands, feet, etc.


3.) Flights of ideas - I make all sorts of plans for various different things. The last time I was manic I had made plans to go skydiving and a road trip to Vancouver. I seen some of my FB messages and I was trying to get people to join me and everything :/


4.) Impulsiveness - Road trips half way across the state because I am bored, buying expensive electronics, quitting jobs, changing schools, taking people out to expensive dinners, going to my work at 2am to bring them donuts, etc.


5.) Lack of sleep - I am not really tired and because I have so much to do I tend to only sleep for a few hours at most.


6.) Irritability - This one is usually not at first but as the lack of sleep continues to grow I eventually get here, also if someone tries to interrupt one of my "grand" plans I can go off on them.


7.) Delusions - I believe I am getting messages from God, I also believe that I am the best at anything and everything I do.


Those are the main seven things I experience. I am working on catching these earlier on at this time, right now when I tend to notice them it is too late at that point and I don't want to let go of it because you literally do feel like a God as others have said.



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[BipolaRNurse]

Yeah, that's pretty much it for me too.

Hypomania = I love God and everyone in the world
Mania= I AM God and I love myself more than anyone in the world.

[Nessa213]

What you describe doesn't particularly sound like mania to me. Or at least any kind of manic episode that I've personally experienced. To me it just sounds like you're feeling great and just in a legit good mood state.

Manic episodes are unique from individual to individual though... and even episode to episode.

A legit good mood is being able to sit back and enjoy the day and see that everything is beautiful and great.

If I'm hypomanic I can't just sit there. I MUST go out and do things. LOTS of things. And I must do them RIGHT NOW.

If I'm manic things simply can't get done fast enough and I get frustrated that I have to stop and eat. Stop and shower. I rage that it takes so long to drive somewhere. I am controlling the weather. I can control what people do or how people think. I can change people's minds and things are happening because I'M PERSONALLY making it happen. I don't need as much sleep because I'm gifted and special and no one before has ever done what I'm doing or thought of what I've thought of. Basically, what other's have said, when I'm manic, I AM A GOD. lol that really is the best way to describe it.

[r010159]

Much of the descriptions by others here echo my experiences with mania. I have never experienced that I am GOD, but I did believe ?I am really special and the only one that could do my job, that the company would lose oodles if money if I were not there, LOL

[tabbiecat]

Thank you.. This is really helpful. My OCD acts up and my dr has me paranoid that I am somehow manic and don't realize. I am switching doctors on Monday to hopefully someone more supportive.

I am going to request a psych consult and assessment to get to the bottom of things. And get on the right meds.

I slept 8 hours last night and then napped for 4 hours today. From what I've read, that's not something that happens when you are manic or even hypomanic? Most days I can't wait to go to sleep. I get racing thoughts but usually related to anxiety or when triggered by something.

My opinion of myself hasn't changed much but I have felt like I should not go to school this fall, but really because I think it's a bad idea to add more stress to my life until I get my mental health under control.

[BlackSheep79]

When it is bad for me I can't sleep, irritable, high energy, talk a lot bouncing from one subject to another, memory goes, concentration is gone. The main physical feeling that I have, and I can only describe it as electricity running through my body, I absolutely hate it.

[Angry1541]

Originally Posted by r010159

Much of the descriptions by others here echo my experiences with mania. I have never experienced that I am GOD, but I did believe ?I am really special and the only one that could do my job, that the company would lose oodles if money if I were not there, LOL

I have felt that before...or at least that I am the best person to do my job...because of some innate quality that if pressed to define it, I could not.

[Dix888]

At first, it's euphoria, energy to do many things, lots of ideas (I'm a writer, so I get many poems done--usually goods, some published). Then it moves into this odd state of insomnia but with uncontrollable laughter. Before I got on good meds, I'd sense that the moon was trying to give me an important message. Not that "I am God" but that God has a message just for Me. I have climbed trees in a dress & high heels, trying to reach the moon. Need to dance, spin in circles, talk 100 mph. Doing way too much, not sleeping. Making mosaics all night long. Then a crash. Usually very sick physically (strep throat 4-6x/year).
Since the good meds, am much better. Less insomnia, much fewer hallucinations, able to focus. But I do miss that euphoric energy!

[Angry1541]

Dix88 -- speaking of writing -- my undergrad was creative writing, and I always wanted to write a novel -- I will get hypomanic and start something that I think is just a great idea...get about a chapter in, and my mood changes and I forget all about it and never return to it...

Poetry is nice because it doesn't require long (months on end) sustained attention....
check my blog angry1541(dot)com -- lots of my poems on there...some about our shared disorder.

[~Christina]

My Mania starts out " wow I dont need to sleep or eat " I can do a million things at one time" then it slides into an angry hatred turned inward hot mess of hell .. all of this can happen in 24 hours so I dont enjoy any of " my " manic episodes.

[Mental reward]

@nessa213..yep. That pretty much sums up the whole manic thing. Me to a T.

[Moose72]

When I was manic, I thought angels were giving me the secrets to the universe.

[grandmaof3]

When I'm manic I feel like I can do anything and everything. I plot and scheme to do outrageous things. I am very irresponsible with money when I'm manic and I tend to sleep very little if at all. I also get irritable and can flip out at any moment over the dumbest things.

[Moose72]

This was me manic:

http://bipolarhallucidations.blogspo...paradisium.htm

[pawn78]

Originally Posted by Moose72

This was me manic:

http://bipolarhallucidations.blogspo...paradisium.htm

Nice writing, I enjoyed your artistic portrayal of mania.

[pawn78]

The last time I was manic, I thought that Jesus Christ was going to resurrect himself inside my heart, and rip out of my body and I would be God incarnate.
That pretty much sums up the peak of it, before that extreme psychotic mania, I wasn't sleeping, I was obsessed with Christian mysticism, and I had chanting in my head 24/7, "in the name of the Lord, in the power of The Lord,"
I am actually an atheist now, and it's keeping me more grounded and sane, but back then I was obsessed with god and religion... So my mania had religious delusions all throughout.
I suppose now that I am a more rational scientific atheist type, my next manic episode would be entirely different, but with the help of psychotherapy and medication, I am hoping I never go past hypomania ever again!

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by pawn78

Nice writing, I enjoyed your artistic portrayal of mania.

Thanks.