What is your mixed state like?

I am trying to determine what my mixed state is like. So here I want to know what your mixed state is like for comparison purposes. There are times when I am agitated and quick to anger and restless. Sometimes I have intrusive thoughts making it difficult to focus on what I am doing. I am definitely not happy when all of this is happening to me.

What is your mixed state like? How about when it is extreme?

anxiety, agitation, irritability, wanting to die, wanting to escape from the awful experience, I almost never get unipolar depression where I can't get out of bed or something, my depressions are mostly mixed states, where I feel irritable, but fairly energetic and sometimes racing thoughts.

Irratation, anger, sensitive to noise. light and smells

feeling like I want to run away from the world

Major highs then lows with anxiety, agitation, anger and irritability, most times all in one day.
It's the most terrifying thing I've ever been through. The loss of control is overwhelming

all of the above. add confusion and loss of the ability to put a coherent thought together to the mix. i isolate big time and avoid talking much and paste on a fake smile till it's over.

Imagine sitting on your bathroom floor at 2 AM, scrubbing the baseboards with an old toothbrush and bawling your eyes out. Can't sleep, can't eat, too manic to be depressed and too depressed to be manic, but you are both. Mixed episodes SUCK and I wish I never had them.

A type of "out of control" feeling and helplessness seems to be one of the common themes here. And a very uncomfortable one at that, a type of suffering. Some seems to have both the energy to do something but crying at the same time. Extreme opposites. This has to be terrible time when this happens. This appears to be the time when one is the most emotionally unstable.

Thanks so educating me. Until now I wasn't for sure just what a mixed episode/mood is. I have them too and they seem to last 1 to 3 days at a time for me. I also had them for years prior to my diagnosis. Back then, I always tried to avoid all human contact as much as possible. Now, perhaps I have a legitimate excuse.

I am like this so often. It's horrible. Hugs and sympathy.

I was originally diagnosed as BP 2, but recently diagnosed as BP 1 mixed episodes. I thought I was always manic, with a little depression. Now it all make sense as to why I feel all over the place. I experience what everyone else does and I feel out of control. I was feeling above normal last week and then wanted to not be here anymore. I'm good now and my husband knows so I am safe, I see my doctor Friday and will spill the beans. I don't like this at all, maybe a tweak in my meds is all I need.

Mine is like this:

For me (bipolar with GAD) mixed-states feels like being depressed, anxious, agitated, angsty, elated (in a kind of spiritual, electrified way). And it's all happening at once...maybe for a few minutes depression is the predominant (but the others are in the background), maybe for a few minutes ecstasy is predominant (but the others are in the background), and so on. Also, there's some delusional stuff going on, too...like...I can "feel" other beings around me. Maybe I'm ultra-sensitive and those other beings are really there, but whatever the case, my p-doc calls it delusions and if unmedicated it all becomes completely overwhelming and absolutely terrifying to me.

Meds keep the feelings, thoughts, and perceptions tolerable. Most of the time. Meds make the stuff I've described last for shorter periods of time. The tiniest bit of stress has a tremendous ripple effect that goes through my entire being like pain. So, all this stuff hitting me and going through me all at once, and me doing constant battle with it all, trying to maintain stability and sanity. It feels like standing on the beach with the crashing ocean in front of me in a tremendous storm...overwhelmingly intense/dread/fear/sadness/anxiety/elation/excitement.

As others have said, out of control. I experience hallucinations and lose contact with reality. Thank God there have been people who love me there to get me to hospital and on anti-psychotics. This has happened 3 times in the last 10 years and I am now learning to come to acceptance of this.

For me, it depends. Sometimes I have racing terrible thoughts but can't get out of bed. Sometimes I'm racing all over the place screaming at everyone and having paranoid delusions (then again, sometimes that's mania by itself).
But most of the time, I'm racing all over the place with racing terrible thoughts and crying my eyes out over everything and suicidal with plans.
A little of column a and a little of column b, I think is a good description of a mixed state. I once asked the same question on another board. Confusing stuff.

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It is a nightmare of issues. I have the energy of mania, the racing thoughts, and irritability. But on the other hand I feel worthless, confused, random crying outbursts, and the worse part is all of the SI that comes along with it.

Irritable, easily angered, skin feels itchy, can't sleep well, head ache, can't focus even on reading (my favorite thing), really bothered by noises

wow! never knew these experiences had names... at my worst, I can't control my limbs. i talk to nothing and scream at myself, sometimes standing in front of the mirror, my hair in my face, feeling all of my atoms vibrating. I can't go anywhere, do anything. I punch myself and say "aw man" in this painfully anguished voice, over and over. extreme self hatred, aggression, energy. I used to become a "wolf", get this super electric elation and desire to do bad things. when it's less extreme it's just like everyone else; helpless, enough energy to live but no desire to. confused, broken, hollow, anxious, worthless, vaguely dissociated. I hate bipolar. so much.

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not to mention the perception changes! the perception changes are awful. colors are different, the world has that awful, veneerless hue. everything's swimmy and warped. white walls are orange. people who love me are monsters. I complete the world in my head, sometimes I can't talk, can't interact with the real world. I have to force myself to get out of my mind and operate in the real world. shucks.

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I just suddenly got really irritable and angry again this afternoon, triggered by a sales meeting the morning where my sales numbers were in last place, then a traffic jam on the way home from work......
... Just when I thought I was doing ok, I am back to irritated and raging.

during my mixed states I feel high and helpless at the same time. Last time I had a mixed episode I ended up in the hospital for 4 days for a med change

"High and helpless" - good way to put it. Yes.

My mixed states are marked by extreme hostility and impulsiveness. It's all the not giving a **** of depression mixed in with the impulsivity and grandiosity of mania. I also tend to be psychotic when I'm mixed but not always, but if I am I'll be hearing voices.

In a mixed episode I had early this year I was hospitalized because I was homicidal.

ITCHY SKIN!!!! Like it feels itchy but it's not actually itchy?! I thought I was the only one!! When it's like that, I want to scream and rip all of my clothes off (and not in a sexy kind of way lol) and all through my body is like this powerful electricity that I have to fight from doing something drastic. It might sound weird, but I have to like hold my bladder even though I don't have any urge to go. (That comes a lot with stress.) I want to scream, I want to cry, Punch things, SI thoughts........ Snapping at everyone and every little thing and being unreasonable. But also productive - cleaning the kitchen at stupid hours, vaccuuming at night etc... Often bawling my eyes out at the same time... It's horrible.