[Blitter2014]

I am surrounded by a small but loving family. My support network is also small and no one really knows my thoughts. The feelings of loneliness although having these people in my life, including my wife and daughter scare me.....for when I feel as I do I crave mental attachment, that someone can understand not just the feelins and emotions, but the depth and intensity- the feeling that someone is connected as a soalmate and knows/sympathizes with exactly how I feel and can physically hug the feeling away.

can anyone relate? How do you appropriately deal with such feelings? Is it possible? Or is it the Mania that the Pdoc told me to be on the watch for?

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[Angry1541]

Hmm...I think I understand you...I am lucky in that my wife does get what I am going through (she's a trained therapist)....I guess keep posting here...we'll be there for you.

[Curiosity77]

I want the same thing, but it seems really hard to find. I had it for awhile with my exhusband, but that was 3 years ago, and i haven't had that with anyone i've dated since. I have friends and some family, but it's not the same. So i'm right there with you, and it sucks. At least the people here seem to understand

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[gayleggg]

I had those feelings with a guy I dated for almost two years, then I got so scared that he would leave me, I left him instead. I was convinced it was for his good. I've regretted it ever since. I've never met anyone else that made me feel like that, not even my husband, whose life I've really made miserable because he can't be there for me in that way.

[Skitz13]

When I was married and my kids were little, I always thought that I couldn't have felt lonelier even if I were on my own. maybe that's what I was feeling all that time. Anyway you look at it, I think this is a lonely existence anyway.

The connections you're wanting are very difficult to find, I think

[wandering101]

Im not sure if the feeling is what your dr told you to watch out for, as im just realizing and coming to terms with who i am, i guess...

Anyway reading your post i felt like i could have wrote it myself. Ive often 'felt alone in a crowd of loved ones' you cant talk to them because they dont get it. I just missed 4 days of work because i couldnt manage to get out of bed. This is after an episode of thoughts of suicide that scared me enough to go to a mental health hospital. My mom came down to make sure i was ok and she says "i dont get it carrie, you just need to get up and do what you need to to get thru the day and crash when its over"

Unfortunately, i had someone like that, he could hug the feeling away, someone ive connected with like ive never connected with before. My soulmate. My best friend. He provided a safe feeling, warmth and comfort ive never experienced before. BUT he related to me because he had his own hurt and pain. In the end he couldnt handle me. He left. Triggered the night i went to the hospital.

We try and stay away from each other, but that connection brings us back and the pain we cause each other pushes us away. Which is terrifying.... What are my options here? A life full of people that make me feel lonely or have someone who connects with me but our pain just hurts each other? Is there a middle ground? I wish i had the answer.

So, i very much relate, but i havent grasped how to deal with them.

[SeekerOfLife]

With you, Blitter. I often tell T how disconnected I feel toward most people.