what does this mean??

I started Zoloft 2 weeks ago. I have now been on 50 mg. for 4 days. I felt really wired for a few days, had some bad anxiety/panic, but then it seemed to be going away. Friday morning after I took it I felt like I had just chugged a gallon of coffee (or snorted a bunch of coke or something), but I could tell the feeling was fading by evening. I woke up sad, and proceeded to get pretty depressed (of the flat-lining variety), which is still how I feel now.

Does this reaction to an SSRI (without any mood stabilizer) mean that I'm actually not bipolar after all??? I was looking out for signs of mania and thought it might be coming, but now this...

Seeing my psychiatrist on wednesday but am looking for any insight in the meantime.

That's not enough to say you aren't bipolar. It doesn't necessarily cause mania, that's just likely. Plus you haven't been taking it very long, so it's too soon to know how you will react. Are there other things that make you doubt your bp diagnosis?

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I've always doubted it partly because my parents do (my mother was with a man for years with one of the most severe cases of bipolar I've ever heard about...), and partly because I wonder if maybe it's just a combination of anxiety, personality, and 'being a baby' about it all (or that maybe I'm just imagining it)...

I've also never been hospitalized, though I did leave school for a while for debilitating depression and anxiety. These days I don't have the same mood for more than 2-3 days. I know rapid cycling exists, but it just doesn't feel extreme enough. It's more that the actual cycling is disruptive, not the individual moods themselves...if that makes sense.

Just because you did not go into mania taking an AD without a MS does not necessarily mean anything. It only means something if you do become manic.

My doc told me, when I went of Zoloft that it might temporarily make my depression worse and that it will likely clear up. I also got the speedy feeling -- still get it, but not as bad as a week ago...I am on week 3/4 of 100 mgs.

If you have a reaction like you've described to an AD it is a strong indication of bipolar disorder.

I was prescribed 200mg Zoloft a few months ago...went into the worst "negative" hypomania I have ever experienced. Horrid agitation, anxiety, angst, extreme mixed states. it was sheer HELL. P-doc told me AD's often cause problems with bipolars. He decreased the Zoloft to 100mg. I was better, but still not at all okay. Long and miserable story short, I'm now at 50mg and doing so, so much better. The AD had triggered that hypomania. I'm actually aiming for 25mgs. at this point.

Thanks for this. I will definitely discuss with my dr. on wednesday. After taking 25 mg. this morning (been splitting the 50 mg morning/night) I sky-rocketed to the moon, but for literally only 1 hour...thoughts were racing, the thought of eating/sleeping was absurd, almost wrote my dissertation chair to tell her "nevermind, I'm just great! I'll have that dissertation done by next month!" Now I'm feeling pretty stable actually...even a little drowsy, but not depressed at all. 2 days ago I decided to take a leave of absence from school, and now it feels like a distant bad dream...this stuff is so confusing!!!

Funny how we always look for ways to deny our disorder. I do it all the time. When will I get it?

I just re-read what I posted earlier...I don't think I was fully awake. Definitely talk to your p-doc on Wednesday. What you've described could certainly be mixed-state bipolar.