[Skitz13]

you can wake up in the morning feeling that it's going to be a good day, remaining positive and it being a good day then by the evening it all changes.
The darkness falls, literally. You go from not wanting to see anyone to yearning for company by the end of the day, wishing you wouldn't have pushed those people away

you go from a positive outlook on how you're managing to having little hints of SI and feeling that everything, I mean everything you're doing to manage your disorder is a waste of time.

I have done everything known to mankind to learn how to manage this disorder. Therapist, pdoc, (good ones), medication compliance, nutrition, exercise, alternative medicines, spirituality and education, positive thinking, using CBT/DBT skills and mindfulness.

In one day I go from one extreme to the other. I'm totally out of options, there really is nothing left for me to try.

I don't know what else to do...

[Davyblues]

I always expect it to be a bad day where I will be in the worst deep hole and everyone will be nasty and nothing will go well.
Then it always ends up being better!


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[Hbomb0903]

You take each breath and you try to have hope. Sometimes I pray. I feel the brokenness to my friend.
You aren't alone at least.

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[Skitz13]

Originally Posted by Davyblues

I always expect it to be a bad day where I will be in the worst deep hole and everyone will be nasty and nothing will go well.
Then it always ends up being better!


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Maybe I'm doing it backwards

[Hbomb0903]

Originally Posted by Plzsti

Maybe I'm doing it backwards

No you are doing it just right. It's not our faults that the house is against us, so to speak. (Gambling lingo). You are so strong and I look up to you.

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[Angry1541]

Bout the only advice I have is you gotta "keep on truckin..." put on some music that keeps you upbeat and find something to work on to distract you from your thoughts.

and know we are always here.

[Skitz13]

Originally Posted by Angry1541

Bout the only advice I have is you gotta "keep on truckin..." put on some music that keeps you upbeat and find something to work on to distract you from your thoughts.

and know we are always here.

Thank you very much for that. I really appreciate you responding and offering support

[Angry1541]

Hey -- I have been trying to be more 'active' in this community...I am newly diagnosed and really bad at judging my moods, so I don't have much in the way of practical advice, other than what I have done when I have been 'off' in the past.

[BipolaRNurse]

I am a rapid-cycler but nowhere in the same ballpark as someone whose moods change daily or even within the same day. I can't imagine what hell that must be. I hope you can find SOME kind of treatment that works for you, soon.

[pawn78]

my moods are all over the place too.

My mood chart for ONE MONTH has 3 distinct peak mood cycles, and 3 distinct crash cycles.

It looks like a whacky mountain range!!! I am not sure what that means, but I am showing the mood chart to my PDOC in about an hour for my monthly appointment.

[pawn78]

He said I'm having a mixed episode. I tend to stay like this most times throughout my life.
It's mild compared to some symptoms, buts it's a mixed state I'm in most of the time.

[~Christina]

Try doing yoga and meditation in the evenings ...It helps center you so you dont have the nitetime crashes.

Hope this helps

[Dix888]

This is a physical disorder. Your brain is part of your body & if it's not working properly, of course you'll have bad days.
You would never say to someone who has had both legs amputated "Grow legs! You're so lazy, just grow them!!!" Likewise, it's not fair to put yourself down for not being able to control your ups & downs. Compliance with meds, going to pdoc appointments, eating right, etc. are all good things to do. But we still have "no legs" figuratively. Bad days happen to us all & it's rough. But the good days will come around again!

Originally Posted by Plzsti

you can wake up in the morning feeling that it's going to be a good day, remaining positive and it being a good day then by the evening it all changes.
The darkness falls, literally. You go from not wanting to see anyone to yearning for company by the end of the day, wishing you wouldn't have pushed those people away

you go from a positive outlook on how you're managing to having little hints of SI and feeling that everything, I mean everything you're doing to manage your disorder is a waste of time.

I have done everything known to mankind to learn how to manage this disorder. Therapist, pdoc, (good ones), medication compliance, nutrition, exercise, alternative medicines, spirituality and education, positive thinking, using CBT/DBT skills and mindfulness.

In one day I go from one extreme to the other. I'm totally out of options, there really is nothing left for me to try.

I don't know what else to do...

[Skitz13]

Originally Posted by pawn78

He said I'm having a mixed episode. I tend to stay like this most times throughout my life.
It's mild compared to some symptoms, buts it's a mixed state I'm in most of the time.

OMG I don't know how you do it

I find this very difficult to deal with

[wildflowerchild25]

I've had that fairly often in the last week during this depressive episode. Like I wake up without the brick on my chest but somehow by 8:30am there it is and it's all I can do to take my students' lunch orders and click approve...I mean my students can be a--holes sometimes and curse me out in a second but if I'm baseline (haHA whatever that is) it doesn't bother me.

I'm at the end of my rope too but there's got to be something out there for us because I don't know about you but I can't bear it if there's not. And I can't die and **** my whole family over so....there is something. We will find it.

[pawn78]

double post

[pawn78]

Originally Posted by Plzsti

OMG I don't know how you do it

I find this very difficult to deal with

My mixed state is almost constant, BUT, it is much milder than yours, and many I read about here, as I am able to function normally 99% of the time, in my mixed state, but very rarely I go to an extreme mixed-mania, and then I am psychotic, and I have to be hospitalized. (only twice so far)

[Skitz13]

I was just talking to someone from the crisis line and I was telling her about my isolating and she gave me a great idea. I think I'm going to go and volunteer at our humane society. They have a lot of kittens that need bottle feeding, it would give me a purpose and maybe it will get me out of my head, so that's one thing I haven't tried, might as well give it a shot, right?

[Angry1541]

Originally Posted by Plzsti

I was just talking to someone from the crisis line and I was telling her about my isolating and she gave me a great idea. I think I'm going to go and volunteer at our humane society. They have a lot of kittens that need bottle feeding, it would give me a purpose and maybe it will get me out of my head, so that's one thing I haven't tried, might as well give it a shot, right?

Sounds like a plan...in most communities there are plenty of volunteer opportunities, if one doesn't work out for you...another might.

I tried to keep a mood chart for a couple of months. I honestly don't know the difference between my moods. I actually think I need a nurse around oftenly to help me with all of this. My therapist hasn't asked me for a chart. Honestly, this has completely overwhelmed me totally.

[Angry1541]

Originally Posted by Lmciyah

I honestly don't know the difference between my moods.

Yup -- you are not alone in that....I am the worst in judging or understanding, or even trusting my own emotions. Probably because they were always inappropriate as a kid that I learned very young how to stuff them and not listen to my emotions cuz they always got me in trouble with teachers/peers/parents/etc.

Sad really.

[locomama1961]

Originally Posted by pawn78

my moods are all over the place too.

My mood chart for ONE MONTH has 3 distinct peak mood cycles, and 3 distinct crash cycles.

It looks like a whacky mountain range!!! I am not sure what that means, but I am showing the mood chart to my PDOC in about an hour for my monthly appointment.

Same thing with me on Lamictal! Went back to the old standby-Lithium. Lamictal made me manic, irratible, and cycle-not to mention the horrible muscle pain and headache/sinus trouble. I am BP 1-this drug was NOT a good fit!

[usehername]

I managed to be mostly depressed on it for about 6 months and then hit a sudden peak for a month, and seem to be in some sort of mixed state now. I'm really not sure. It keeps changing. Idt I like lamictal either.

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