[haleylaurel]

hey

any relationship advice for a new bipolar? my boyfriend is extremely supportive, but i feel selfish in the relationship.

[Trippin2.0]

When you say "new bipolar" do you mean to imply you're suddenly bipolar or have been all along and just found out?



Just asking...

Advice?

As long as you give as good as you get there's no reason to feel selfish. Relationships are give and take, your bf isn't forced to be with you, he chose you.

Also, be careful to not give your bf the role of your therapist and or life support.
Support and acceptance is nice, great, and welcome, but you run the risk of burning him out if you involve him in every aspect of your bipolar. Definitly reach out when you need him, but remember to spread out the need, so to speak.
You wouldn't want him equating you with crisis.

Lots to learn here, and many supportive folk to stand by you in your time of need. I hope you like it here and stick around for a while.

[haleylaurel]

new diagnosis!

thanks so much. its just hard to find the balance between talking about how I'm feeling and using him as a therapist.

[Dix888]

I've been married 27 years. I have bipolar disorder (mostly manias), seizures & OCD. The OCD is pretty under control via xanax (the only thing that calmed it down)
Sometimes, I am the "therapist" in the relationship. He gets down about his job & goes on & on about that to me. Other times, he listens. It's good to share but it's also good to have whatever condition it is in balance. We can't be cured (Yet, science is working on better treatments) but we can see our therapists/pdocs & be sure to get onto good meds that work for us. Exercise helps, eating right helps, having other friends (I am a loner so I joined some writing groups & the other members are my "friends") is good. Avoiding things like alchol (other than once in a while) is healthy.
So don't worry too much about telling your BF how you are feeling. People w/out any sort of brain disorder do that, too

[Blitter2014]

Originally Posted by haleylaurel

hey

any relationship advice for a new bipolar? my boyfriend is extremely supportive, but i feel selfish in the relationship.

You may feel like that because you feel more 'needy' due to your diagnosis. He may not see this as a problem, but rather as something he can help you with and through. If that is what he wants to do, to help you and care for you, then let him do that.

As far as feeling selfish, I would say like any relationship, concentrate on being a friend. Friendships give and take, and at any one given time, one is either giving or recieving. That is the basis of a good friendship.Take time to spend on him, his problems, his feelings, his needs and desires, and let him do the same for you.

Most of all, enjoy having someone to share yourself with

[BlackSheep79]

I have been with my husband for almost 12 years now and at the time when we were married I did not know I was Bipolar, he knew about the OCD. We have been thru a lot because he has Crohns disease. I always feel like I am being selfish where mine is day to day and his only flares up time to time. I know he loves me but I go thru times where I feel like it might be too much for him to handle. My only advice is to not leave him in the dark about the major issues, you have to communicate, because if he loves you he will stay by your side.

[~Christina]

As Trippin said .. Dont depend on him to deal with all of it .. Thats what a therapist is for. By all means let him know if your really in a struggle if you are the type to " hide" how you are really doing .. I hide everything well so when I tell my hubby I am a mess he knows I really am .