I think I have a ton going on....

I think I have a ton going on, didn't go to work today. I'm a data analyst and been working at this job for almost a year now. I'm 25. I was diagnosed with bi-polar when I was a freshman in college when i tried to OD. I've since been on medication, always changing it seems, and been through several therapists.

I really have so much to say, but I'll try to keep it short for my first post back. I'm planning on moving out soon. I think it needs to be done. My parents and I fight alot, my schedules don't mix with theirs, waking them up in the middle of the night etc. I have the money now and a little savings, but I've been real down this week and lately. Again, I didn't go to work today. Been laying in bed all day. Surprised my mom isn't yelling about it. In some ways I just want to lay here all day to "punish" myself. My mom just cut the grass. I honestly didn't hear until she was probably about half way done. If I get up now she will start fighting with me, probably.

OK, I'm getting off topic here. But, here's the thing. My mom especially can't deal with and doesn't understand my bipolar illness. I think she thinks I'm lazy and just don't want to deal with life. Is that it? My younger brother, 22, has a learning disability, is diabetic, and just last week had a cyst removed from his back. HE HAS ISSUES. My parents don't need my bs, and that's big reason I think I need to leave.

If I'm depressed, I can heal/lay/cope alone and maybe that would be better for all of us. On the other hand, I can see myself really falling away and not caring, and quitting my job and just drinking and doing my own thing in the apartment.

I'm not liking my job. This is about the third IT job I've had, and after a certain point I'm just so fed up with them. I think I may have chosen the wrong field, but now I'll need money to move out right? I hate that money is such an issue. Why should I, or any of us have to deal with bs corporate America and a job we don't like just to have money to live a life that we're not enjoying?

I just don't know what to do. I know what I'd like to do.Move out, see how things are and possibly stop going to work and figure stuff out when I'm out of money. But I know that's not a popular choice.

Sorry for the book ladies and gentlemen. If I posted this in the wrong place, please let me know. Thanks to anyone who will read. I'm supposed to see my therapist tomorrow, and sign the lease on Saturday.

Hi, dc301, and welcome to Psych Central! Sounds to me like you are doing the right thing by moving out. Please use some of your money to talk to a therapist/see your psychiatrist, since you are getting depressed.

And, not that you asked, but I think you need to hold on to your job. Of course, you might want to start looking around for new ones, but, as you say, you need the money. Do NOT give up! You are on the right path. Okay?

Okay, if you move out you have to keep your job. Start looking around for inclusive studios or off campus housing places.

Depending where you live, there are tons of things you can do in IT...I, for example, am and IT analyst...writing BRDs, reviewing and triaging data problems, issues with code changes. I don't do any development, just deal with people complaining stuff isn't working...and taking the heat for it....but I realize that's just part of this role and people aren't mad at me personally...it could be the pope in my role and they'd yell...

That said, yeah, move out...but find a roommate if you can...someone you can be open with that will help you through if you start having issues. good to have some support that's aware of your daily life...not babysit you, but still someone near by to talk to....