hypomania? what?

ok, so i've never had a manic episode, but i've been trying to figure out if i've had hypomanic episodes. how do you know if you've always been the same? my docs always ask me, but i always say "no" b/c, well, i feel like it's kind of hard to know. thought i'd ask for some opinions.

i've had severe depressive episodes all of my life. i just recently started on meds. i've tried 2 kinds & they haven't worked; in fact they made me worse. i have periods of intense productivity & optimism about my work, but then i crash. but, i'm a grad student & i've always assumed that's normal. i don't go on spending binges, but i'm a grad student...i'm poor. however, when i do have money, i never have it for very long & i can't exactly figure out how it got spent...i'm a crappy budgeter. i go through periods of getting really excited and talking fast/a lot, but usually only to my girlfriend and to my students. at least i think.

um. that's all i got right now. how does your (if you have it) hypomania present itself?

I'll cut and paste from a previous post of mine what hypomania is like for me. This mostly describes the type of hypomania I feel right before I go full out manic. So when it first starts all these symptoms are a bit toned down...

"The world seems full of potential and everything is possible. Everything is terribly interesting to me and I have loads of "brilliant" ideas that must be acted on immediately - until the next brilliant idea comes up a few minutes later. I start project after project and volunteer for everything under the sun. I start cleaning and organizing my house like crazy. Everything must be put in order, immediately. I'm normally a very introverted person, but when I'm manic I talk to people - a lot. I call everyone I know.

Before the hypomania gets out of control, it's great. I can focus really well and all my senses are heightened. Everything seems to make sense and I feel like I understand things immediately. I do some of my best work right before things get bad.

I have unlimited energy and I don't sleep more than an hour or two a night - but I'm never tired and have no interest in sleeping. Sleeping pills have virtually no effect. Interestingly, I also have insomnia when I'm depressed, but it's infuriating then because I'm so tired and want desperately to sleep.

When I'm having a mixed episode (which I only recently learned to identify), I'm just as wired but it takes the form more of restlessness. I get bored, but instead of moving from great idea to great idea, I don't know what to do with myself. I get extremely irritable. The world seems to be filled with stupid people whose only purpose is to get in my way.

I say and do stupid things that make me really embarrassed after the fact. I've said before on these forums, that there should be a bipolar med that renders you mute as soon as you get manic. One that disconnects your phone and email and keeps you from sticking your foot in your mouth. I snap at everyone. I feel miserable, but with enough restlessness to be really aware of it and do stupid things to try and get it to go away. I usually end up self-medicating with alcohol or anything else that happens to be around."

Sorry that went on for so long, but I hope it was helpful. Hypomania is a great state for me. It just doesn't tend to stay very stable. I will say, though, that my manic states are relatively calm compared to others I know and many wouldn't consider them to be full-out mania.

You might find a mood chart (of the type available on the web and in some books) to be helpful in sorting out hypomania from your normal level of functioning. Good luck....

For me it's hard to tell because I've only been aware of BP and having it for a short time. So it's hard for me to look back and identify what periods would be considered hypo-manic.

When I think about it, I believe that my hypo-manic episodes just seemed normal to me. But what JonB described as a mixed-state is pretty much exactly how I felt a couple months ago and it's what prompted me to go see the doc.

HI there,
symptoms of hypomania may be different....
sometimes they are subtle or they can run like obcessions and I am so impulsive..I say and do things that I would not do/say if I had jsut "thought" about it...but the wiring is a miss there in my brain so that sometimes words come out wrong...I have flirted with my husbands best friend, his old boss and a man I barely knew jsut recently...a gentleman in his 80's.
anyway...
I become very selfish...hoarding my friends away from their families to have one on one talk...intensely of course...
I try to be super woman and be healthy all at once.
Diet, exercise, vitamins, calcium chews, floss my teeth, drink more water...all of those new years resolutions all at the same time.
I go over the top...my speech is presured like I can't wait my turn to speak...
I am exhausting to others.
I am also easily irritated, agitated, easy to lash out at my hubby.
I get careless...little accidents happen more frequently..
I mean like breaking a glass on the dishwasher...sense of perception is off.
getting lost while driving cause I am not fully present...
forgetting things...simple things...other people can just say oh well...I did this or that...when I do these things they are like a red flag to me.
that is when I have to do a wake up call and take geodon to get me back down to reality and a more sane life...geodon is my friend.
I have to pay attention to these hypomania symptoms because my husband is clueless...and it is hard to pay attention when your running hypomanic....
bizi

thanks for information everyone! i really appreciate it. i've started using the mood charts (thanks Jon B) - they're much more helpful than just journaling. again, i appreciate you all sharing your symptoms w/me. i think it'll help me sort stuff out.

peace

I LOVE being hypo manic--sleeping only 3 hrs. a night & feeling great. I become extroverted (I'm usually really shy & a loner) & join all sorts of groups & organizations & take leadership roles. I can be highly organized & focussed.

But I also feel if people don't do things my way or fast enought, I get irritated. I wrote a note to my co-worker complaining about how her mistakes were affecting my work cuz I had to correct them. She wrote me a note back that when I was perfect I could then criticize others. I told my husband what I wrote & he said I should apologize, which I did.

I do become very chatty & contact long-lost friends who I haven't spoken to in years. I agree with the above poster that when hypo manic there should be a pill to stop you from embarrassing yourself by making telephone calls, writing letters or e-mails, sending smoke signals to people who don't even remember you or are perplexed why you got in touch with them.

I do spend lots of money like on an $800.00 vacuum cleaner, gold-plated tweezers for myself & my daughter--only the best for my eyebrows! I shop on-line for stationery from France. Shopping is a big problem for me when hypo.

I honked at a slow-moving funeral procession that was in front of me!

Sexual interest & response intensifies. My self-esteem is very hgih.

Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that you should't allow yourself to stay in that mode. I was that way for about 5 mos. & didn't tell my doc--would you? Then I had a horrible crash into depression that has lasted 5 mos. now even with a change in meds.--Suzy

So, Sky, Suzy just described me to a "T" . My pdoc asked me yesterday if I thought I was in hypo and I lied to her and to myself. Hmmm. Glad PC is here for all of us. Maybe if I keep coming here I can get real honest with myself.