[Djinn8]

Just pacing around and yammering away, practicing conversations I'm never going to have for the future. It's making my feet hurt. I don't know how I'm going to get through next week. It's going to be bad when I come back down. Reeeaaalllllyyyyy bad...

[Secretum]

Just wanted to say that I do that (the talking to myself and pacing thing) too. I don't think there is anything wrong with it. The pacing is good exercise, and the talking to yourself thing? Well, most people think in a monologue; we think in a dialogue. That's all.

[Djinn8]

Originally Posted by Secretum

Just wanted to say that I do that (the talking to myself and pacing thing) too. I don't think there is anything wrong with it. The pacing is good exercise, and the talking to yourself thing? Well, most people think in a monologue; we think in a dialogue. That's all.

I read that and instantly started explaining the difference between monologue and dialogue to the invisible man.

I hear some people say that they enjoy the mania state, but I find it horrible. Right now I'm so charged that it feel like if I touch something it's going to explode, but I also know that there a whole lot of pain bearing down on me. I'm in for a long exhausting night, with nothing to distract me from endless rumination and anxiety. Then tomorrow I'm going to be so low I'll want to die. Everything is going to feel pointless and futile then. Everything DOES feel pointless and futile now, it's just that the package is in the mail. Then, I'm going to hit my base-line after a week or so of being numb and depressed and my Schizo-delusions are going to kick in. I'll be like that for a few months, trying to get all the plates spinning once more (most of which are smashed on the floor), till my next trigger comes along and the whole, inescapable cycle starts over.

I wish I had a friend to help me through this, but there's no one. Just me alone the house. Unable to form a relationship or build any sort of life for myself because the wind keeps blowing down my house of cards.

****...

[Djinn8]

And writing that made me come back down. The postman came early.

[buzz bee]

Sounds like your manic and crash, horrible.

Look this up and see if its you. Maladaptive daydreaming. My doctor said that is part of bipolar when she was going over symptoms. I had to go home and look it up.

[pawn78]

Originally Posted by Djinn8

I read that and instantly started explaining the difference between monologue and dialogue to the invisible man.

I hear some people say that they enjoy the mania state, but I find it horrible. Right now I'm so charged that it feel like if I touch something it's going to explode, but I also know that there a whole lot of pain bearing down on me. I'm in for a long exhausting night, with nothing to distract me from endless rumination and anxiety. Then tomorrow I'm going to be so low I'll want to die. Everything is going to feel pointless and futile then. Everything DOES feel pointless and futile now, it's just that the package is in the mail. Then, I'm going to hit my base-line after a week or so of being numb and depressed and my Schizo-delusions are going to kick in. I'll be like that for a few months, trying to get all the plates spinning once more (most of which are smashed on the floor), till my next trigger comes along and the whole, inescapable cycle starts over.

I wish I had a friend to help me through this, but there's no one. Just me alone the house. Unable to form a relationship or build any sort of life for myself because the wind keeps blowing down my house of cards.

****...

Although I am not in the EXACT situaion you are, I feel your pain. My mania has been fun, but lately it got so intense, that the pleasure and euphoria stage peaked out to the maximum, and now I am coming down. I'm also restless, pacing around the house, and I can't sleep, because I feel so alone... this part of mania is not so good.

I can talk to people on a deep level, and I still feel terribly alone, after I peak on amanic episode, this is what happens. I get jittery, and cant find any place to rest my mind, and I feel isolated and alone, no matter how much intimacy and friends I have.

I know I'll get through this though, and so will you!! I am hoping to get some rest tonight, at all costs, I need to rest.

[pawn78]

Since my mania is no longer hypomania by any stretch, I realize that it is time to put on the brakes.... a another week of this intense mania, and I headed for disaster.

I just took a double-dose of GABA and melatonin...I have to sleep at all cost.

DON'T WORRY FORUM, I AM TAKING SAFETY PRECAUTIONS with my manic episode now, and I think I m going to be ok this time.

[Skitz13]

Originally Posted by pawn78

Since my mania is no longer hypomania by any stretch, I realize that it is time to put on the brakes.... a another week of this intense mania, and I headed for disaster.

I just took a double-dose of GABA and melatonin...I have to sleep at all cost.

DON'T WORRY FORUM, I AM TAKING SAFETY PRECAUTIONS with my manic episode now, and I think I m going to be ok this time.

Hope so. Take care of yourself pawn.