[kmarie]

My husband was extremely attentive for years, we always picked what tv shows we watched and that kind of stuff. We only have kids every other weekend but are trying to have our own, and now it's like I don't exist. He says to me go watch TV somewhere else. The movie he is watching 200,000 people loved and i should love it to. Can't I just sit down and watch it. I feel controlled. Seemed like it got worse when we bought a house together. I have given up so much to be with this man. Because I wanted to. But sometimes I wish for the coupleness for lack of a better word, compromise whatever back. As a bipolar, coming off a mania it is bothering probably more than most. But he doesn't seem to care if I am there or not. I have no idea what I did wrong. I tried to have him watch one 1 show "24" about 2 weeks ago, he got up and left. Of course, I got up and left myself because here I am panicking about it, wondering what is wrong with me and not wanting to confront him, I am afraid to because he will blame it all on my bipolar. I love him. Trust me I have had a terrible past that is the past but I love this man. I am afraid to talk to him anymore because we have lowered a lot of meds to have a baby and he always blames me for it. I am scared of myself. I have very dark feelings. I don't think he really gets the entire thing, but funny thing is I don't get the whole bipolar thing myself after tons of meds hospitalizations you name. Why is this happening? I really have a lot of love to give. I am worried about having a baby now. I want to be closer like we used to be. I admit I had trouble since being off the meds, but now that's all I hear about the meds. I am so scared. I screwed up so many times. I want to do the right thing but sometimes that is shall I put it "ceasing to exist".

Can someone try to shed some light here soon.

kmarie

sorry you didn't get a reply before now......

do you have a therapist? if not, please try to make an appointment with one so you can bounce your feelings off of someone IRL. and continue to post here. i'll watch for you.....

it sounds to me as if your husband has more problems than you. would he go for couples therapy? if not, go for yourself. you can ONLY fix yourself....he'll change if he's ready to and he has to make that decision.

being bipolar is not the end of the world, even though it can feel like it sometimes. i'm major depressive, so i'm always on the floor..trying to scrape myself up..but good days do some and things do get better.....just hang in there, talk to your doc and get a therapist.......please keep me updated......xoxoxo pat