[BlackSheep79]

I suffer from BP 1 in which I've been in the past with rapid cycling and mixed episodes. I also suffer from OCD. So many of you have experienced psychotic episodes. I have never had a psychotic episode, is that normal?

[TheatreKid]

Bipolar is a spectrum, with so many different presentations and constellations of symptoms. There is no normal. Not having experienced psychotic symptoms is *lucky*, in my opinion, but not abnormal or normal.

[BipolaRNurse]

Be glad you don't have psychotic episodes. They can be terrifying! But I think it's safe to say that most people, even with bipolar 1, don't have them, so it's not unusual for you to have never had one.

[~Christina]

Be happy that you havent gone through the hellish nitemare it usually winds up being.. Everyone Bipolar is unique.

[BlackSheep79]

Everyday I am grateful that I don't have psychotic episodes. I don't know how you all do it. I just didn't understand why I didn't experience the nightmare you guys go thru.

[pawn78]

Mine have been very rare, only a few times in my life. However, my psychotic episodes have also been really extreme and very scary. I avoid all the triggers and delusional thinking that pushed me into psychosis the last times. I have been stable (not psychotic) for years now.

[Love&Toil]

Errr, if it's not too triggering, would anyone mind talking a bit about what it's like to have a psychotic episode? I think I may have had one or two in my life - not much...

[TheatreKid]

My first psychotic episode was around the idea of suicide, so skip this paragraph if you feel like it might trigger. While in the hospital the first time, I was convinced that by NOT committing suicide like I was supposed to, I had broken free of destiny and since my life path was veering wildly and not controlled like everyone else's, anyone who came in contact with me would get hurt and possibly die.

A recurring one for me is about the music interval "perfect fifth". A couple of years ago I was convinced if I could figure out the secret of the perfect fifth I could heal people with it.

This time it's slightly different, if I can figure out the secret of the perfect fifth I can gain supernatural power. Both times, I made copious notes about the certain songs that contain fifths that are important to me. This time, I managed to decode a poem from the song "The Scientist" by Coldplay using only some of the lyrics sung on only the perfect fifth interval:

To meet
to find
your secrets
in circles
just guessing
you love
in circles

I'm gaining a better grip on reality over this delusion, but I still feel driven to figure out this secret.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by Love&Toil

Errr, if it's not too triggering, would anyone mind talking a bit about what it's like to have a psychotic episode? I think I may have had one or two in my life - not much...

I would say it varies greatly from person to person. Sorry if you've read my story before. I have had psychosis more than once (when I was 15 I believed I could see myself outside of my body and also believed I actually was one with nature, literally--this is around the time I was diagnosed) but only one psychotic break that I am aware of. It was almost purely faith based. It started with me reading the Bible numerous times a day and praying all day long. Then, I was praying like a charismatic preacher (pressured speech as all get out) and laying my hands on people. I thought the Holy Spirit was speaking to me and sometimes telling me to do dangerous things. I took a 6 hour shower in the middle of the night in which I cast out and vomited demons; I thought the water was holy water and never got cold. I believed dreams I was having were prophetic and tried to unlock the meaning, even believing one of them was telling me I wasn't saved. The faith delusions were too many to count. I also once believed the road turned into sky and I was driving in the clouds. This is very bad when you are manic and your speed control is off! That is all I can think of for now.

[nummy]

I was recently only diagnosed with Bp after a psychotic break. I was afraid of everything, and unfortunately was surrounded by evil people all too happy to feed my fears.

The thing is, everything felt real. If it wasn't for one sister if mine I'd never have realized my thinking was abnormal. So really, every episode we have in Bp is abnormal. It's a psychotic break when it's caught. I probably have had other breaks never diagnosed. I thought god wanted me dead. It felt like depression. A Bp manic psychotic break, though? Who knows.

Every episode is different but I hesitate to buy into any one having manic episodes as never having been psychotic, based on my own experiences.

[optimistic_dolphin]

i have had several episodes and right now my dr says i m having one... My life feels like a dream some time

1)i believe my job was to bring people to heaven on earth. i go around asking everyone if they wana go to hell or heaven. The ceiling lines in the ward was some form of connection to communicate with heaven so i kept trying to reach it

2) believing i was pregnant with a magical baby ( no sex watsoever) so i kept wining to get out for scans and checkup

3) everyone (physically or not) was watching me. i hid under my desk for entire day without getting out so my parents brought me to ER. I kept my room dark so the camera wouldn't see me. i wrap scarf ard my head to prevent recognition. I seal up my room corner (CCTV) and bathroom window coz the sunlinght will take my mind away. I refused my hosp bracelet so no one knows my names. i refused to eat and drink for three days in there coz the food and water was poisoned. i heard things, ppl talking and saw shadows. it lingered for quite a bit after i was discharged.

4) the terrorists were gg to bomb my sch. the nuns and priests were there to mourn and say prayers to the secret killing. i refused to go to sch.

5)everyone physically on the street was stalking me somehow and plotting against me

this time...
6) i thought my existenxe kills people. either someone was trying to kill me or kill anyone around me. natural disaster was happening and i caused it. i ended a trip early to save myself and the people
7) then first time turning violent towards people. i wanted to kill and hurt for no reason. theres someone ( a man i guess ) in my room haunting me to kill them or kill myself. it's like i have to do it. my dr makes it sound like i choose to be obsess about it. i hate it. sometimes i hear sounds or people talking. my mind is pretty foggy half the time

[prinssa]

My ex bf who is bipolar said to not argue with him in a psychosis. He said horrible things to me and it felt that the comments he was making he honestly meant. So I would defend myself and the argument would go on for hours. It was torture. His way of going around what if questions and philosophical thoughts if I really loved him and why. Gosh it drove me out of the relationship. He would always take back the things he would say but back in his episodes he would say the same things he would later take back. Did he really mean them or not?

[Curiosity77]

I've never been diagnosed with psychosis, but i've not told any pdocs everything i was thinking, and they never asked. Whenever i get sick i start to believe i am battling demons for my soul. I also thought at one point that i was not supposed to speak, and that trees were laughing at me. Most of that happened when i was using drugs. I have also heard voices a couple of times, both while using mdma. One time it was very clear, voices talking to each other and i was listening to their conversation. The other time it was a voice talking to me, but it sounded garbled, like it was under water.

[LacunaCoiler]

For me it's the shadow people! They follow me everywhere! They're in my house, they're at my work, they're just everywhere I go watching me just out of reach. It's not a out of the corner of my eye kind of thing either. I can stand at the bottom of the staircase at our house and stare up at one for minutes at a time as the shadow person looks down at me. Eventually, they're will be more of them and they come closer to me but never within touching distance. Then they recruit people in the outside world to watch me and follow me. All this is over something important I have in my head that I'm not even sure about but they want it.

I've had this same psychotic episode over and over again. Actually, I'm starting to feel like they are watching me again but I haven't seen one yet. Hopefully it won't come on as a full blown psychotic episode. So yeah, they're not fun and definitely scary on my end. If you haven't had one be thankful you don't.