New here, question

Hello all. I am in my late teens/early twenties and have been diagnosed with bipolar II for just over a year, but it has been something I have been dealing with for 5+ years. It was originally just classic bipolar II, but I think it has moved further towards a rapid-cycling version of the disorder. Either way, my episodes have been occurring steadily more frequently.

After the diagnosis, I didn't tell anyone (including my family) for quite sometime. As I have gotten used to dealing with it, it has become something I shared with certain friends. I was always quite good at separating my episodes from my outward interactions with people in my college community - in other words, when I was having an extreme episode I would seal myself off from all but my closest friends so that people wouldn't change their perception of me. However, this has become nearly impossible to do, both because I am living in an apartment with 5 other people and can't seal myself off so they don't see, and because my episodes have been occurring at such an increased rate.

My question is: How do I decide who to tell about it and who not to tell? If it is obvious, will they have guessed? In certain moods, I want to say f-it and tell all of them, but in others I know that if I do I will feel constantly watched and judged. I don't know what to do, but it is becoming increasingly stressful for me. If I don't tell people, does that make me ashamed of this part of my life? I don't want to overload people with my problems, you know?

Welcome to the Community, goldenbubble28. Perhaps, you might get a more informed answer here:

Ask the Therapist

I wish you well.

It's really impossible to answer without knowing more about your relationship with your roommates. With your roommates. Remember- you can share triggers without giving too much information- e.g., letting them know that a family relationship has been aggravating stress or if you're worried about work or school.

Living with five people can be stressful. How have you been able to handle it? What is your current strategy for handling a mixes episode? You mentioned that you tried to shut down but that approach is now impractical. What can you try instead?

Unless they're people you're really close with or people who are exceptionally educated on the issue (like a bunch of psych majors), I'd avoid using the word "bipolar" when you talk to them. There are still a lot of very negative associations with that word among the general public and people tend to assume you'll engage in a lot of crazy behaviors which you probably won't. I'd tell them something vague, like that you have mood issues or depression issues, and then ask for what you need from them (time to yourself or whatever). If some of them are really supportive or ask more questions, then you could tell them more details, but by being vague you get to ask them for what you need without volunteering too much information or making them too uncomfortable.

I just take my meds when I have to, no matter who's around. Anyone who asks wants to know asks. I say I'm bipolar and carry on my night. If I'm depressed and people ask what's wrong. "I'm getting sick". If I'm manic.... Well the filter isn't really there. Usually they assume I'm on drug. I don't hide it, but I don't give more information then asked.

My closest friend knows but he's also named as my secondary advocate if I'm unable and my husbands unable to make mental health desitions for me. He'll straight out tell me I'm getting sick or delusional but he has been with me through every mood I've had since we met but I don't really on to be there for me though. He refused to let me isolate and has at times treated me like a drunken five year old at times. I'm sure his wife knows because he is named as a guardian of my child if I'm unable to and my guardian if need be.

I had to inform another friend as I had completely destroyed our relationship and her relationship with my husband (her best friend) in a paranoid fit.

When I was in college and was ill, there is no way I could have lived with five other people. My nerves would not have taken it. And when I needed to curl up and get away, there would have been too much chaos and noise. I don't know about telling people, but I would eventually work toward a calmer environment.

I usually follow that plan, only telling people when I know that they will be there to support me, but my environment is just not conducive to that approach at the moment as I've temporarily moved away from my main support system. My biggest issue is that when I tell people about it, I sometimes forget that they wont see it the way that I do, and that may make them uncomfortable. I told one of them about it a couple of weeks ago, and I just feel like it ruined our relationship. It's adding so much more stress to the environment, but I feel like I can't even say when I'm really upset because I don't want to ruin his experience here. I'm so stressed out.