I can't be an employee. One, because I do not have the stamina to work more than 35 hours a week. Two, because I won't work for free, and my experience with being in office work and teaching in public school is that free work is expected from everyone there. Three, I need my legally entitled breaks. These days, that's rare -- employers AND co-workers create a climate of "we take lunch at our desks and we do not take breaks." Now for the difference in being self employed. I founded a secretarial service in the 1970s, which is still there. It has the same phone number, and has changed hands and street addresses several times. My business got so productive, I had to sell it because I could not manage all my accounts. I sold it for enough for a down payment on a house. I did the same kind and quality of work I did when I was an employee in offices -- the difference was that in an office I got almost exclusively critical, negative feedback on my work, and in my own business I got TONS of compliments and gratitude. Being an employee has its history in slavery. The Internal Revenue service in the USA says that if one is an employee, the employer can tell you WHAT to do; WHEN to do it; and HOW to do it. If one is an independent contractor (self employed with several accounts) these three things are negotiated. I don't like to be told what to do, with no negotiation. I cannot tolerate that, and that's why I was usually either fired or run off the job when I was an employee. After I sold my secretarial service, I taught piano and music, as an independent, self employed teacher, for 20 years. Because of my low stamina, which I now attribute to racing thoughts before I got psychiatric care, I could only have student contact hours for 20 hours a week. The rest of the time, I slept, went to the music store for pieces for my students, planned my lessons, and played the piano on my own.

[pawn78]

I was self-employed once. It was my own fault, but I ended up becoming a workaholic and the stress triggered an epic mania episode!!! If I ever start up business again, it will be a low stress business. (if there is such a thing)

[Tucson]

I worked for myself on one long project at a time. There was no structure put in place by an employer. This did not work for me even though I was very good at what I did. And I see many BPs requiring structure in their lives and on the job. Also, there are deadlines to meet. So there is stress, particularly if you take on multiple tasks at once. And if you do not make an important deadline, you probably will not get work from that client again. At least this has been my experience.

IMO I do not think self-employment will work out for many BPs. There are mixed episodes and significant downturns that can last awhile. And clients can tell you what needs to be done, how they want you to do it, and the deadline for your work.

Thanks for your perspectives, Pawn and Tucson. I guess I thought self employment (and project based jobs) might work for others (but not everybody, that's certain). I had a part time project-based job working for a large mental health organization. It worked out great until they laid me off (fired me) saying I was too expensive. This caused a 6 month depression. I'll be interested to hear more people write in on this topic.

[Trippin2.0]

I would never be able to be self-employed, my self-discipline waxes and wanes with each passing mood.

I need structure in my life, it helps to keep me balanced. More importantly, there are MANY times that if I'm not held accountable I will simply opt to just not.

So if I were depressed or ecstatically hypo, I would either stay in bed indefinitly or run off to the beach!

Why not? I have nobody to answer to except me...

Thereafter I will kick myself and indulge in a shytload of self-loathing for not making enough money.

I'm hoping to find a happy medium, at the
moment being an employee isn't terrible.

My job is low stress yet interesting, my manager is a riot and friendly to boot. My co workers are cool and really helpful, I get urged to go and have my hour lunch and even get free French Manis and eyebrow waxes, courtesy of the company.

Buuut, my happy medium would be more along the lines of working flexi time or having the opportunity to work from home whenever I need to...

I didn't mean to type a novel

In short I can't be self-employed, my daughter and I would starve to death.

[lacerta]

I have never been self-employed. Every time I'm manic I have these ideas of my own business, quoting the current job. But no, it never works out, I don't like the ideas any more once I'm over the mania phase. I'm ok being employee, I work at the creative environment, I can take brakes if I'm tired, I can leave early if I have finished the work earlier.

[newworldoutthere]

I have found that I can't work in a typical office environment, which is hard because my background is in engineering. I do photography work now and it is the best change of pace I have found. I am able to do my work when I feel up to it and things are different everyday. I find my structure through organization and my fiance's gentle reminders.

lacerta and trippin, It sounds like you both have ideal jobs. I envy you -- I never found such a job except one time I had a half time job in a beautiful park. But it was low pay, half time, and seasonal, so it didn't last.

[Trippin2.0]

I don't have an ideal job, far from it actually.

I'm only part time (working my way toward fulltime under my T's watchful eye) and the location is on my loath list.

Buuut, I'm concentrating on the positives and hopeful that it only gets better from here on out.

Like I said my ideal would be fulltime-flexi with the option of working remotely when neccessary.

[pawn78]

My job is very stressful, long hours, brutal conditions.... but I make pretty good money, and get to work on my own.

Hi again Trippin and Pawn, thanks for your further comments about your jobs. I ADMIRE both of you for tolerating less-than-ideal job conditions. I used to get demanded to work for free, as I wrote before; and also was required to do things that were unethical -- or illegal, like defrauding the health insurance company. On the illegal one, I prayed about it and came up with a solution that pleased my boss, but it was very stressful -- it was cheat or quit or get fired, but none of those things happened that time.