Pattern of setting myself up for failure...

I've had so many different jobs over the course of my life. I think my longest was three years. I'll usually start off great but I always, always mess it up or change something to leave or quit before I'm fired.

This can also be applied to other areas of my life. Relationships, school. I rarely finish what I start.

I'm not consistent. I'll get so excited about something that I don't always see it might not be best. My mind tricks me into thinking I can do this, then tells me AFTER I start I can't. My husband says I set myself up for failure and give up too easy.

How do I break that pattern? Every time I fail or give up it's harder to try again. I don't want to be sucked into negative thinking but that's where my mind goes.

I wonder if I'm even employable. Contemplating disability.

Anyone experience this too & have you been able to turn it around?

Good question. My last job last five years. Woohooo!! However during that time I was on the typical medication pinwheel, trying to find which is right for me. My roller coaster of ups and downs....(sigh). I started slipping last year really bad with tears that came out of no where at times. I was miserable more off then on. I ended up quitting a few weeks ago. ( not under the best circumstances). (I learned I was starting perimenopause and with bipoars it is worse because of our disease)

I understand the relationship as well. I find that friends come and go. (but that is life all in itself, so enjoy the moment) I have been married for 20 years together almost 22 years. I have an amazing husband that will not let go. He is awesome at that.

All in all you are living the life of a bipolar. I guess I see the pattern in my own life and try to look at the high lights. For example; " Awesome I lasted 5 years!!!" Your doing great!! One day at a time.

Actually I could never understand why it is considered such a big accomplishment to spend many years at one job. Usually if you are not changing employers it means you are not advancing your career as fast as you could. Forbes article I once read advised to change jobs every 2.5 years. It is considered the optimal time to gain experience and move on to the higher position in another company.

Everyone I personally know who are successful professionals don't stay at one place much longer than 3 years. Most of them are very young people still, so that might be partially generational shift. I know it was a norm to stay at one company for many years for baby boomers.

But times have changed. No one is going to look at your weird if you have a position you staid at for 3 years on your resume. Actually, I think most employers would like that very much.

Personally, I've changed jobs every 2 years in the last 5 years. I was always able to get a better one next time.

The only people I know who are stuck at the same company at the same position for many years are people who have something seriously wrong with them and know that finding next employment opportunity will be very had for them, so they just lay low.

Peri menopause. I'll have to look that up. It seems at 41 things got worse. Hormones have always played big in my moods. I was diagnosed once with PPMD, which is like super PMS. (Easiest way to describe it). I also get horrid migraines right before & after. I'm told to pray for menopause. Haha! I'm 43 now, Dx with BP 1 1/2 years ago.

Add stress, worry & anxiety and I'm a hot mess. I don't "deal" as well as I used to.

I want to be the best mom & wife I can be. Job or no job. Some of my children have BP and depression. All surfacing in mid-teens. I want to create positive changes and thoughts so I can be consistent and strong for them.

Ideally I'd want a low stress part time job, and love to go back to college. (I did finish my last course of study with 4.0 so I did accomplish that). My husband is a good man but I often wonder how he puts up with me. I don't want to add to his burdens. Unfortunately, instead of getting better jobs, each one has been worse than the previous one. I live in a right to hire, right to fire state, and employers can get away with low wages & high work loads. Though it also points to - the problem is me.

I just want to be a better person. Consistent, super-responsible & content. I suppose my post started about work (clear example) but obviously so much more than that.

thanks for listening!

Im the same age, talk to your GP. Mine was very helpful.

Any treatment for that? Effective? I was reading in an article today that Pine Bark Extract can help.

With the exception of my marriage and going through nursing school in one shot, I could've written this post---I rarely finish what I start. I can't hold onto a job for longer than 2 1/2 years; I'll be all enthusiastic for the first few months, then get bored and restless and I either quit or get into some sort of trouble that gets me fired. I too am considering disability because between being late middle-aged and physically in bad shape (not to mention being bipolar), there's not a whole lot I can do anymore.

My last two jobs lasted six months and four months, respectively. I'm getting unemployment benefits but they'll run out within the next eight weeks. I'm getting scared, but every time I think about what sort of job to try for, I feel panicky and full of dread. I was a nurse for 17 years and there's no way I can go back to it. All I want is to find something I can stand for awhile and which will contribute to my being stable, instead of making me crazier than I already am.

I was in college for nursing years ago. LOVED it. Then stopped due to high risk pregnancy. The went on to have lots of kids, various jobs... Went back into med field and not sure if I have the confidence anymore & they can't teach you that in school. Tips, sure, but not the real thing. Panicky & full of dread. Felt that working, the prospect of looking for work & even the thought of making ends meet if I can't work. Own worst enemy.

Have never actually been fired, but have resigned from every job I held due to either a manic or depressive episode. This is a tough disease and job stress is a major trigger. Just one day at a time...remember sometimes good things come out of problems.

You definitely aren't alone. I have started so many things I haven't finished, or stuck with, including things like converting to a new religion. Oops. Changed my mind.

Wish I had an answer. But, you aren't alone.

I lost my most recent job because I broke my wrist. Lasted one month exactly. Your post made me laugh because I get out of doing dishes. That's good

But yeah. God closes a door & opens a window. Through pain and adversity comes growth. And I'm able to be more attuned to my kids, who really need me right now.

This thread hits home for me also. I usually last 18 months at a job. I start out refusing to miss a day for anything, working super hard and picking up extra shifts. Everyone raves about me, then it happens-I miss a day, then another, then it's over. I also have been in nursing school 3 times, even been on the dean's list for getting good grades, then (usually after spending 2 days studying) I don't show up for finals! A t told me that I have fear of success, too bad I didn't stick with him long enough to get over it.

Thanks for making me feel alone.

I could have written this post! Success is uncomfortable for me. I find myself unconsciously avoiding it.

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Hahaha NOT alone. Thank you for making me feel NOT alone.
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