[Ms.Beeblebrox]

Hi everyone!

I am having a bit of rough time at work and strange thoughts started entering my (otherwise sane) head.

Don't you agree that a lot of people who do not qualify for an official diagnosis exhibit bipolar or/and schizo traits? Some times very obviously? But why don't they get labeled? Because they can get away with it!

Sometimes I think that if I were making good buck when I hit my manic episode I would never get a label. I was very efficient and productive even at my worst. But I just moved and were not stably employed when the **** hit the fan, so everyone got concerned.

On the contrary, if I were to go manic now, when things are very stable and I have a job and have been in the same country for 5 years, I would most likely get away with it.

Does anyone agree? I think the difference between sick and eccentric is not as much in the intensity of the suffering as in the presentation of such. And the presentation greatly depends on the circumstances.

[venusss]

Of course. And ability to handle it (which is situational too... because if you have enough of buffer space, you are more easily to handle the ups and downs than if you are expected to be as normal as possible).

[Velouria]

It's funny that you post this because I feel like I might have some form of bipolar disorder, but my doctors are reluctant to agree. A couple of my friends who have loved ones with Bipolar 1 do not agree, because I'm not running away to a commune or marching through my house with a shotgun. I get that. I'm not that extreme.

But I don't think I blew through 3/4 of my savings this summer -- which was supposed to go to moving out of my parents' and moving in with my boyfriend -- because I was depressed, as my therapist believes. On the contrary, when I get depressed, I do not want to spend money, because I don't care or I feel too guilty.

A few weeks ago, I checked my savings account to find that there was 500 less than I thought, and that I'd transferred it back in July. Couldn't remember doing it for two days. When I finally remembered doing it, I still couldn't (and can't) remember what I did with it.

But I'm not doing anything "crazy," or screaming and throwing things, or acting in ways similar to those I mentioned above, and yet I experience swings. My low swings are more noticeable, because I'm way less fun to be around. And when I'm agitated I'm simply labeled as a huge *****. So there's that.

Then mix in my prior substance abuse, which I think got blamed for a lot of things it shouldn't have been blamed for (of course there were the things it was obviously to blame for). You have one confusing mess of comorbidity.

Like I said, I'm not sure if I have some form of bipolar, but I do have some elements of it, my doctors do agree with me there. As for intensity of suffering vs. presentation, I think that's where the line starts to get blurry. They always base diagnoses on how something is interfering with your life, from alcoholism to mental illness.

I practice a ton of self-restraint because of how I grew up. I was basically scared into behaving myself. At the same time, I'm like a time bomb.

So I agree with you. I do think that many people can get away without a label. But I don't think it's a good thing. I'd rather know what's going on with me and get properly treated for it than continue down an uncertain road.

I really feel like I've babbled here, so I apologize if I have.

[krisakira]

I feel like therapists and psychiatrists only care about your diagnosis if it's affecting you socially or vocationally. They don't care how you feel every day unless it's affecting what you need to do in life.

[Pikku Myy]

I was MDD/anxiety/panic/pstd/ocd for years... was able to mask a whole lot of it.... with meds and, yes, alcohol. Until all poop hit the fan so to speak .. add emotional & psychical abuse. I totally lost it and there was no hiding after two trips/retreats to the psych ward this past year for S. Just glad to be alive and accepting the diagnosis of BP1 finally......... You know after all the misery this past 3 years, I can say I am finally happy. So... in my case reducing stress and therapy has worked wonders. Hope you find the same balance.. I am sure I will face other "manic" and "mixed/manic" episodes eventually, but at least I know how to ask for help now and make sure people around me know to have me locked up, lol. Again, being BP is not the end of the world Not at all......... and collecting labels... hmnnnnnnn.. Rather have them all clumped into one. Hugs

[Tucson]

Bipolar is a spectrum disorder. Perhaps the reason your doc did not dx you as Bipolar is you did not meet the group of symptoms in the way they feel you should for BP I and BP II. IMO this MI still can have a profound effect on the individual. Besides, I think you specific symptoms matter more than a diagnosis.

[venusss]

Originally Posted by krisakira

I feel like therapists and psychiatrists only care about your diagnosis if it's affecting you socially or vocationally. They don't care how you feel every day unless it's affecting what you need to do in life.

I mean of course. Cost of MH is measured in work productivity. If you drone it up to work and do the menial meanigless **** they require you too......... you are considered fine and nobody cares what you feel inside.

Look at how treatment success is judged from the outside. Who cares the person is deadened, as long as they don't bother others (this is specially true about proponents of forced treatment).

[Ms.Beeblebrox]

Thank you everyone who replied!

Reading your responses helped a lot. I don't mind the diagnosis, but it does feel unfair sometimes that I was made to take meds for 3 years and think that I was "ill" when others who are way worse than I ever was are walking around firmly believing that they are just fine, and that the angry fits, inappropriate behavior etc. they exhibit are other people's fault.

I work with a person who I believe is suffering from low grade paranoid delusions and he is turning the lives of our coworkers and my own into a nightmare because of the constant insecurity with which he is coping by scheming and undermining others to make his over shortcoming look better in comparison. I really feel that he is suffering daily and would benefit a lot from at least therapy, but I know that he would never accept it.

What do I do, other than update my resume? That is the question.

[Velouria]

Originally Posted by Ms.Beeblebrox

Thank you everyone who replied!

Reading your responses helped a lot. I don't mind the diagnosis, but it does feel unfair sometimes that I was made to take meds for 3 years and think that I was "ill" when others who are way worse than I ever was are walking around firmly believing that they are just fine, and that the angry fits, inappropriate behavior etc. they exhibit are other people's fault.

I work with a person who I believe is suffering from low grade paranoid delusions and he is turning the lives of our coworkers and my own into a nightmare because of the constant insecurity with which he is coping by scheming and undermining others to make his over shortcoming look better in comparison. I really feel that he is suffering daily and would benefit a lot from at least therapy, but I know that he would never accept it.

What do I do, other than update my resume? That is the question.

Ooh, he could be a narcissist. I work with one of those. She drove me crazy. Still does sometimes. I get paranoid, and it literally made me sick. It was awful. The girl flips out -- literally -- disrupts the whole work environment sometimes. Never written up for it. She just started taking an antidepressant this year (she's been in therapy for 7 or 8 years now, almost as long as she's been working at my job). I cope with her behavior way better and have a way better relationship with my boss now than I did a few years ago. A few years ago it was an awful mess.

Just the other day she made a mistake and she got mad at our boss for calling her out on it. When she vented to me and I told her (nicely) to just learn from it and move on she replied, "There's nothing to learn from!" Yeah, okay.

It's really hard to help people like that, because in their eyes, they are almost never, ever wrong. It's always everyone else who's wrong. They're ridiculous. I'm sorry if I'm offending anyone here, but they make me so angry. It's really hard to help people like that. They're incredibly insecure and you feel bad, but sometimes it's really hard to feel bad when they undermine you (or stab you in the back).

Can you talk to your boss about his behavior? It sounds like he's creating a toxic environment for everyone.

You have to stay one step ahead of people like that so that they can't undermine you or go behind your back, or if they do go behind your back, your *** is covered. Covering your *** is the name of the game.

[A Red Panda]

One key thing to remember is that most people do not seek assistance for various reasons - if you don't go to the doctor, you can't get diagnosed. And unless you end up in a situation where you need to be hospitalized, then no one can force you into getting a diagnosis or help.

My Bipolar? Is very much functional - I hide it well and my lapses in judgement are pretty minor. My depressions are more obvious, and they were what I finally decided to get help for. Tried to avoid the bipolar diagnosis but I had to talk about that once the straight anti-depressants sent me into the longest and most severe hypomania I've ever dealt with.

[Nightside of Eden]

Well, if your disorder isn't effecting your life in some way, then it doesn't really qualify for diagnosis. That's pretty much how psychology differentiates between an illness and harmless eccentricity. However, there are lots of ways people struggle that are less obvious than losing jobs or having no close relationships and that can make it hard even for professionals to determine what's going on.

I was always functional enough to "get by". I don't generally have the sort of extreme behaviors or outbursts that could get someone hospitalized. But the depression was still seriously screwing up my life, making it impossible to maintain jobs or relationships the way I should've been able to.

[A Red Panda]

Originally Posted by Nightside of Eden

Well, if your disorder isn't effecting your life in some way, then it doesn't really qualify for diagnosis. That's pretty much how psychology differentiates between an illness and harmless eccentricity. However, there are lots of ways people struggle that are less obvious than losing jobs or having no close relationships and that can make it hard even for professionals to determine what's going on.

I was always functional enough to "get by". I don't generally have the sort of extreme behaviors or outbursts that could get someone hospitalized. But the depression was still seriously screwing up my life, making it impossible to maintain jobs or relationships the way I should've been able to.

Totally! My depressions and hypomanias have a much stronger impact on my friendships and relationships - I either isolate myself so much that I lose friendships, or I am bouncing around too much and annoy people and end up meeting new ones and going out drinking and whatnot.

I can absolutely function in regards to managing money (my impulse buys are pretty minor), and maintaining my job, and not doing anything that's too risky. I also don't have to deal with delusions or psychosis, which helps a lot.

But the ups and downs do impact my life - my eating habits and general health/hygiene.

[sui generis]

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

My Bipolar? Is very much functional - I hide it well and my lapses in judgement are pretty minor. My depressions are more obvious, and they were what I finally decided to get help for. Tried to avoid the bipolar diagnosis but I had to talk about that once the straight anti-depressants sent me into the longest and most severe hypomania I've ever dealt with.

This is me. My hypomania isn't that noticeable, I just seem really annoying. The depressions (and mixed episodes) are a different story though; it's like every day I'm fighting with myself. And yeah... anti-depressants also made my hypomania longer and more intense and is also the reason why I eventually got the bipolar diagnosis.

Thanks for sharing Panda; I always like reading people's experience that mirror my own