[Angry1541]

So, I have been struggling lately with my BP -- ups and downs peppered with bouts of rage and misplace agitation (was this way before my meds, but alcohol often masked it).

And, now I am starting to get an idea (now that I am sober) what I put my ex wives through, and my family growing up...

MY current wife, she is in a psychology PsyD program, so she knows that I my symptoms are, and is helpful helping me seeing. I was totally unaware of myself before this...I never thought about myself, but I have become toxic to my marriage...and I when I get agitated or ragey...I don't even remember what I am saying half the time...I become, well, abusive to my wife, at least mentally.

It's not fun, and nothing is good enough for me...and I have been feeling down -- but today I feel really on the ball, like I can handle anything....

I think I need to get my abilify figured out!!!

Yay! This message doesn't sound manic AT ALL!

Hahaha

Thanks for reading.

[notALICE]

Hi Angry. I stopped drinking & it got worse in ways. (And so did the BP). Not on the as destructive level but then I had all that guilt, remorse, shame to deal with head on. Plus I'm staying in one place so it all catches up. I have to try to deal with my issues. So ,you know, I thought it'd be smooth sailing. Won't do stupid stuff or be off the chain now that I'm not drinking. I was so wrong.

Then diagnosed as bipolar & I'm like - ok *now* I can be fixed. LOL it has been a letdown I'm not better right away, and it's been over a year 1/2. I guess I'm not a patient patient. I'm glad I know but it is a struggle. One good thing is that my kids are aware of their family history & can get real treatment early. (2 are).

Have you ever tried anger management? My husband did. It helped but I swear he needs a refresher course. I think I push all his buttons even if it's not on purpose. It can't be easy.

Hope you get your med adjusted! Wow - I have to laugh at my bipolarness. I basically answered both. I'm glad we can both laugh at ourselves sometimes. I think it's better than crying

Best,

[Angry1541]

Right -- yeah....I am not sure who is more impatient, my wife for me to get better or me....probably her...as she gets to deal with all the fall out.

Personally, I am very introspective and when I found out I was bipolar, a light went off. I switched therapists and psychiatrists immediately. I was/am rather mad at them. I fit every symptom to a T.

I think it is much better to know. I thought I was a horrible person before I found out.

[lilypup]

Glad your wife is well educated on your condition.