[CozyMellie]

I'm beginning to wither today. I have a friend who has been fading out of my life. I know her habits and it's clear that she is moving on. The reason I am posting this is because this sort of thing is a *HUGE* trigger for me. Fairweather friends, relationship break ups, Personal rejection. I take it very hard and it triggers the hell out o fme. I'm feeling shaky and very sad. I'm trying not to go down the rabbit hole of thoughts like... "I am a boring person...nobody ever stays....people always leave...i will be like this forever...lonely forever."

I just needed to vent

[InsideBlackBox]

I can relate. Although, we are healing our bipolar through an appropriate treatment plan and intense therapy, doesn't change the mental illness of fear. It's been my poison and my companion for years. I not a particularly social person anymore, not working, kids grown, an empty nester... I would think the company of friends or aquaintances I once circled myself around may not be the same people I care to socialize with today. Much of my previous behaviors that grasped onto those like myself are not those that I care to be in company with.
Friends do come and go (even for the "sane"). its what we've learned and take with us to our next relationships.

[~Christina]

It happens regardless of mental illness or not,, "we" just take it much harder I think. Do you have activities you can do "art classes" "book clubs" or any kind of things that would put you in touch with other people.. I think even Bipolar support groups are/can be a good thing it puts you in touch with other people battling the same struggles.

I seriously doubt "your" the reasons that friendships fall apart, they just do for everyone.. It sucks big time, time does take the edge off. Your just as worthy of connecting with other people just as all the other people on this spinning rock, Take care of you.

[CozyMellie]

Hi InsideBlackBox and ~Christina -- Thank you so much for responding. I really appreciate the support. So much good advice and it really made me think. I did fall down the rabbit hole last night but I am okay now.

I've been looking for a support group that meets at times when I am not working - it's been tough to find one. Wish me luck cause I really want to connect with like minded people! Friends, hobbies, I've got that stuff but I need to meet people who are successfully living with bipolar or depression (I don't know anyone "in real life"). I think you're right ~Christina - that is what is missing.

No one besides my family know of my illness so I breakdown hard when I see a promising friendship disappear. I long for a friendship that is deep. A friend who really knows me. But I have to let go of expectations and trust that if it's meant to be, someone like that will cross my path.

[Wander]

I don't have any better advice than that given above but I really feel for you. I have lost close friends due to my illness. It tears your heart apart and leaves you with intense anxiety that everyone else will run away too. Hang in there, you do have us.

[Manic Trance]

I recently told a friend that I am bipolar and it was so good. I also want to find a bipolar support group, and spend lots of time with thoughts like 'I'll always be this way', 'I'm always on the outside', etc... I feel you, good luck!

[CozyMellie]

Originally Posted by Wander

I don't have any better advice than that given above but I really feel for you. I have lost close friends due to my illness. It tears your heart apart and leaves you with intense anxiety that everyone else will run away too. Hang in there, you do have us.

Yup - you nailed it. That's how it feels. Thank you so much for the support