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loophole
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Default Sep 20, 2014 at 02:52 PM
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Maybe im just trying to get general ideas and I doubt anyone can give me a great answer... I work at a place where it is 99% man. Several have 20 to 30 years in. it has less then 1000 employees and to be brief.. everyone knows me there.. literally everyone due to circumstances beyond my control. They don't know me from rumors or "bad things". people that work with me know I'm a good worker... problem is is everyone talks like it's highschool. I have been in php for a month and have been on sick leave the whole time.. a couple people that work there have seen me driving. I was going back and forth from the hospital everyday... anyway I went into the hospital because of this 3 and a half day blackout that ended up with me in inpatient (the loony bin to these folks)... they are already going to be assuming some things especially since people saw me (one guy saw me in the hospital parking lot one day).. how would you handle this...? I know tell them its none of their business! .. that's not my personality one.. and two half the people out there do honestly care.. it's the other half I dont.. but if I tell just a few people it will be all over the place sooner then later..... I thought about just saying I been having blackouts and it got bad and I had to goto the hospital to have tests run... but that still leaves loose ends for them to run with. .. like why were you off a whole month? I doubt it would take that long?

Anybody got any good ideas? I don't want to flat out lie.. I don't mind bending it a bit though... thanks for reading

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Default Sep 20, 2014 at 03:34 PM
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I'm no one to give any advice, and certainly not educated in any such fields. I can not help recalling someone here saying "do not tell anyone". None of their business. I had only two friends (mostly) and they disappeared after I told them. In my tiny town everyone knows your business; if they can get it. Then their are those who love to gossip. And then their are those who know "nothing" about any mental illness what-so-ever. Many of them will see you as a vampire or something. They turn a nose up in the air, then go on with their personal life.
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Default Sep 20, 2014 at 03:43 PM
  #3
Personally I would say you had some times when you were" blacking out " and you have been ungoing testing to see if it would be an ongoing problem or just a fluke of some sort. Your Doctors just want to keep checking on you often. That should be enough of an explanation. Whatever you decide to say ,, keep it short and easy to remember so you wont tell person A this and person B that .

Good luck

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Default Sep 20, 2014 at 03:56 PM
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my co workers were never told anything about my being off a month, they think i had a breakdown from stress and that is fine with me....

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Default Sep 20, 2014 at 04:05 PM
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I've found that when it comes to mental health issues the least said in the workplace the better.

This is what sick leave is for, and like any other medical condition, it's really nobody's business (managers & supervisors included) what the details are as long as we're able to perform our duties satisfactorily when not on leave.

If people try to pry, I simply tell them I appreciate their care and concern... That life just gobsmacks us sometimes and everything is gonna be alright.

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Default Sep 20, 2014 at 04:08 PM
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I'd just say, "Oh, some medical issues, don't really want to talk about it. But thanks for asking!" And leave it at that. If they keep pressing, just say it's no big deal and you appreciate their concern.

Or you can say "chronic fatigue." That one's pretty ambiguous. I mean, I imagine your experience did take a lot out of you. So it wouldn't be a total lie.

There are certain types of people who are really good at getting you to tell them things you don't necessarily want to talk about, because they come off as really nice and compassionate and understanding, and afterwards you're just like, "Why did I just tell them that?" So just be wary. Some who come off as really nice and compassionate and understanding absolutely can keep a secret, but others cannot. And if your workplace is like high school, then I'm sure there are those who would love to get their hands on a juicy bit of gossip. So keep telling everyone the same thing.

I'm lucky I work on what some of us refer to as The Island of Misfit Toys. I really don't have to worry about hiding much.

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Default Sep 20, 2014 at 04:31 PM
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Thank you all. All good responses. . Seriously has been a huge help and every post makes me feel better and more confident! I needed it

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Default Sep 20, 2014 at 05:31 PM
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WORLD PSYCHIATRY - JOURNAL OF THE WORLD PSYCHIATRIC ASSOCIATION talks about in length, understanding the impact of stigma on people with mental illness. Being STEREOTYPED, PREJUDICE, and MISCONCEPTIONS many people tend to have, or believe.
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Default Sep 20, 2014 at 05:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tipper1492 View Post
WORLD PSYCHIATRY - JOURNAL OF THE WORLD PSYCHIATRIC ASSOCIATION talks about in length, understanding the impact of stigma on people with mental illness. Being STEREOTYPED, PREJUDICE, and MISCONCEPTIONS many people tend to have, or believe.
Good post and I do agree.. but maybe I'm not understanding why the post? Hehe it made me feel better either way. Good point. Thanks

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Default Sep 20, 2014 at 05:50 PM
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Very easy to understand once you search, and read WORLD PSYCHIATRY - OFFICIAL JOURNAL OF THE WORLD PSYCHIATRIC ASSOCIATION. Tells about others being prejudice toward you; you being prejudice toward yourself. Only recently have there been studies done on how others opinions have about mental illness effect your feelings. People are prejudice about all kinds of things such as race. Some would go as far as to believe mentally ill people do not belong in such and such places. Article dated 2012 I believe. Worth reading.
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Default Sep 20, 2014 at 06:00 PM
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Originally Posted by loophole View Post
Maybe im just trying to get general ideas and I doubt anyone can give me a great answer... I work at a place where it is 99% man. Several have 20 to 30 years in. it has less then 1000 employees and to be brief.. everyone knows me there.. literally everyone due to circumstances beyond my control. They don't know me from rumors or "bad things". people that work with me know I'm a good worker... problem is is everyone talks like it's highschool. I have been in php for a month and have been on sick leave the whole time.. a couple people that work there have seen me driving. I was going back and forth from the hospital everyday... anyway I went into the hospital because of this 3 and a half day blackout that ended up with me in inpatient (the loony bin to these folks)... they are already going to be assuming some things especially since people saw me (one guy saw me in the hospital parking lot one day).. how would you handle this...? I know tell them its none of their business! .. that's not my personality one.. and two half the people out there do honestly care.. it's the other half I dont.. but if I tell just a few people it will be all over the place sooner then later..... I thought about just saying I been having blackouts and it got bad and I had to goto the hospital to have tests run... but that still leaves loose ends for them to run with. .. like why were you off a whole month? I doubt it would take that long?

Anybody got any good ideas? I don't want to flat out lie.. I don't mind bending it a bit though... thanks for reading
Like tipper said, mention some somatic illness. DO NOT mention mental illness. People will judge you and make your life miserable.
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Default Sep 20, 2014 at 06:09 PM
  #12
I second what Velouria said. I would tell them something very vague, such as "I was having some medical treatment." If they press, "I'd rather not discuss it. Thanks so much for asking." If they press, just keep repeating the same answer. I've used that in other situations. Works like a charm.

At my work, people sometimes go on leave for medical procedures or treatments, like cancer or a hysterectomy. They don't discuss it with anyone. None of anyone's business. Same for you.

Hope it goes OK.

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Default Sep 20, 2014 at 06:15 PM
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Thank you all and I will Google that. Sounds like good info.. appreciate all the replies. Truly does help my confidence

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Default Sep 20, 2014 at 06:56 PM
  #14
What you tell them and how is pretty much dependent on your personality. I find humor is a great equalizer. If I was in that spot your in, I would make a joke out of it. That breaks the ice and ruins the fun any one might have in talking about it.

So it would go some thing like this..

Hey Sinking, why were you in the hospital for a month?

"detox! damn never knew heroin was that hard to get off of" (followed by a smile)

Typical response to me then would be a laugh and then may be asked again,

Very funny, but really what was up?

" just some boring medical reasons, I'm sure the rumors are more exciting then the truth which I'd rather not talk about"

But that would be me in my current work environment.

I agree with the others, the least they know the better
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Default Sep 20, 2014 at 07:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Sinking Feeling View Post
What you tell them and how is pretty much dependent on your personality. I find humor is a great equalizer. If I was in that spot your in, I would make a joke out of it. That breaks the ice and ruins the fun any one might have in talking about it.

So it would go some thing like this..

Hey Sinking, why were you in the hospital for a month?

"detox! damn never knew heroin was that hard to get off of" (followed by a smile)

Typical response to me then would be a laugh and then may be asked again,

Very funny, but really what was up?

" just some boring medical reasons, I'm sure the rumors are more exciting then the truth which I'd rather not talk about"

But that would be me in my current work environment.

I agree with the others, the least they know the better
That in all honesty would be perfect! Haha.. unfortunately I'm pretty introverted I don't know if I could pull that off but I'm sure someone here could use it. I definitely like it

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Default Sep 20, 2014 at 08:13 PM
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UH I did not give enough info to the "right link". Will try again later, the certain article that is.
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Default Sep 20, 2014 at 08:27 PM
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Official Journal of the world psychiatric associations & from there - UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF STIGMA ON PEOPLE WITH MENTAL ILLNESS ------------------ should get you to the right article. I found it very informational, with lots of info on both self, and those around you, and the way they may feel about mental illness, or perhaps people with mental illness. This article makes me want to keep it hush - hush. Only you're closest friends, perhaps care about you, and yet even they may not be able to understand your mental illness, or what you are dealing with.
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Default Sep 20, 2014 at 08:37 PM
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If they do not understand, you will get a nose bleed trying to explain it to them.
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Default Sep 20, 2014 at 08:41 PM
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Anyone have a link to the article/pdf? I've been looking but can't find the right article

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Default Sep 20, 2014 at 08:47 PM
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Cyclothymia + perimenopause = homicidal road rage

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