Anybody else on here gone through a true psychosis?

Not a mixed state although a mixed state can feel like a break from reality. Not a real bad mania but a true real break from reality.

Mine was awful. First I started out in a hypo. I was abused in an organization I would rather not name. Anyway there are a bunch of websites exposing it. At first I would just help new victims of this organization that had left bc I've been out 15 yrs, well 11 at the time.

Anyway I became obsessed with all the news stories. It's was some really, really sick stuff. I started not getting much sleep. I started not eating much. Then before I knew it it had been 3 months of this. My apt was in shambles. I went to the Dr but didn't make sense. I couldn't stay off the computer looking up news stories about this organization. I was completely obsessed with getting it all exposed.

Then I didn't sleep or eat for 5 days. Then a woman making a documentary about all the sick **** going on in this organization called and told me one last story. That was it, I could feel my mind slip. I started to slowly believe every business, company etc had ppl from that organization drugging and raping ppl. I thought it was all a big conspiracy. I wouldn't go to the hospital bc I thought they would drug and rape me. My mind wouldn't stop racing, just wouldn't stop with all the images of all the stories I had read. What I went through myself. I was terrified. I started accusing my family of being in the organization.

Anyway finally did go to the hospital. It took days for them to get me to sleep. It was scary...

If u don't mind sharing, what was your break like?

Yep, I have. Memories that are not real...all the way to mania.

Some days it feels like it's raining on me

Having psychosis? Are u sza?

Horrific. I had a stretch of five days when I did not sleep. I lost 40 pounds because I did nothing but drink tea for weeks. I thought Satan controlled me (still do). I heard voices, had tactile and olfactory hallucinations (still do), and was extremely paranoid (still am).

Everything I take in has an esoteric/multiple meaning(s). It is exhausting wading through the input. I'm an constantly anxious and go nuts trying to deal with intrusive thoughts, which the devil constantly comments on negatively. And I cry all the time because I'm besieged.

I. Am. Exhausted.

I know you've probably heard this a million times, but are u taking any meds and what is your diagnoses. Mine is bipolar disorder and severe PTSD.

I understand. it makes me cry for you...

I've had some pretty bad psychotic episodes and they seem to get worse every time. They have to do with the shadow people going after me and wanting stuff inside of my brain. They get a bunch of people to follow me and do their work during the day (shadow people can't be out in the day) while they follow and chase me at night.

On psychologist diagnosed me sza but my actual pdoc says I'm bipolar 1 with psychotic features.

Just to clarify though, my memories were real. Being involved in exposing that horrible organization just brought them up...

Don't cry. I do enough of that for both of us.

I've seen two diagnoses on my chart:

1. Bipolar with psychotic features
2. Severe major depression with psychotic features

Yes, I'm taking meds, but they don't help much.

I just know what's it's like to lose control of your mind like that. My family said when they came to clean my apt I had coffee cans all over. I don't remember just living on coffee. I remember forcing myself to eat some turkey, but that was the last thing I ate for 5 days and I just know that bc my son told me. He kept trying to get me to eat but he said all I would say is, this HAS TO BE EXPOSED!

Just getting so obsessed and the racing thoughts and not sleeping just isn't good. Are u taking any meds right now?

My poor son...

Yes, I'm taking meds currently, but they don't help much. I don't know why. Maybe they're the wrong stuff.

I keep telling my shrink what I experience and that I feel like I'm two different people, literally, but he doesn't seem to take me seriously. He's a really nice guy, but kind of clueless, I guess.

I just made a long post on this and I sent and my Internet cut out .. anyway shorter version.. I suffer from blackouts that lost 3 to 4 days in extreme cases. .. it's horrible I still function but am not consciously there.. It causes me to miss work and literally not remember full days except some still frames mixed in very rarely... basically have no recollection. . Send rediculous text msgs to people that make no sense. Like 5 page text msgs just going off about wild stupid stuff... I don't come out of it usually until I've exhausted my mind to the extreme.. wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.. last one I came out of it by being told I was going into inpatient.. people came over very concerned. . People thought I was going to kill myself I sent a text to my T saying I must need to put a hole in the back of my head... yah don't remember nothing... also don't remember being at the hospital before inpatient. .. I feel like I've literally lost my mind

I think u need to look for a new doc...

I can say I was not with reality in some aspects. Afraid and alone.

mine was very frightening, as well. I went in the hospital to escape thinking I was being poisoned, only to believe that there were sick doctors in the hospital giving lobotomies and torturing animals. I thought they had a hold of my dog and my nephew. I was scared to death. Let's hope that our medication always works well enough in the future to keep these experiences at bay.

For me, going inpatient made it worse because the staff played head games with me and I knew it. I will never tell my doctor I feel suicidal, etc., even if I do because I'm never going inpatient again. The "cure" was worse than the psychosis.

I remember asking a nurse if I could see the bottom of her shoes (I thought they were bugged and someone was listening in). The nurse said, "We wear special shoes that can't be removed."

This pissed me off, big time. I don't like the lying. How hard is it to help the patient be safe and calm?

That does sound scary. I hope the meds continue working for us.

Omg, they are such shits. I had a nurse slam my finger in a door, and then say, and I'll do it again. I left that night. I really should have filed a complaint against them.