I'm just a lost child (possible trigger)

I'm honestly not sure how to begin.
It's hard to totally understand the start if you don't know the end.

I once was a dreamer staring at butterflies I could cry
Now I've hardened I don't shed a tear even if someone dies.

How could life beat someone who cares to much?
It spits down your throat and steps on your crutch.

I wish I could strip myself of all this pain
Losing my life for another? No I don't want to go in vayne...

So speak to me life. Show me unconditional love.
I'm so tired of hurting so much so sometimes i shed my own blood...

Will the world ever forgive me for my wrong doings in my life?
It's hard to have confidence in the world when I've already lost confidence in my wife.

So please help me.. someone give me the key, I don't want to lose myself..
I just want to be me.

Thanks for reading.

Hello loophole: I do hope you find the key you seek. Thanks for sharing...