Does it bother you

that there are no get well cards, flowers or well wishes when your mind melts? No facebook postings about walkathons and fundraisers and posts that say, "Psychotic depression sucks--let's all get together and kick its ***!" No one shows up with casseroles or dessert or homemade soup and says they don't know what else to do but cook and let you know they care.

At the very least, there should be a line of bipolar greeting cards, just to say "Hey friend, don't kill yourself today. Tomorrow might not be better, but it will probably be different."

I guess what I'm saying is that it bothers me. How about you?

Wow licketysplit, I'd never really thought about that. (I love it when someone brings up something new. It makes my brain happy. ) I guess I would appreciate such cards/postings. I isolate when I'm depressed, and I think maybe a card or posting to acknowledge someone's thinking about me would help.

I love that card! Maybe you could get a deal with halmark- seriously, getting that card in the mail would make me smile even in the worst times.

Along these lines I wish it was something I could talk about as a medical condition. I've been down lately and we went to a friend's house to watch football last night and after an hour all I could think about was that I wanted to go home- I could not socialize any longer. Had I had a physical illness people would have understood, but it's really not socially acceptable to leave saying "I have reached my maximum threshold for human interaction and if I don't get out of here my head may explode".

We ended up leaving using the excuse of having to work early today (which my husband actually had to)

Exactly, Ozzy. It's not accepted the same way a serious medical condition is, and if it does come out, people shrink away. They shoot each other those looks. I have one friend who does send me cards now and then just to say hello or something with a funny saying, and she also emails and has come to visit (she lives in another city). This is a rare friend, let me tell you.

But I do get tired of seeing that other people can freely share medical conditions publicly--not that everyone wants to or feels comfortable, but at least it does not create a silent stampede in the other direction.

Maybe we need to teach people that it matters to us when people show that they care the same way they do when someone has a serious, life-threatening medical condition.

I've never thought of it before either, and now that I have, I can honestly say that no it doesn't bug me... But maybe that's because my close bipolar friends and I have dark humor in common and send each other the following type of ecards for shyts and giggles..

Double post sorry :0

I think it does bother me-sometimes when I am feeling really down, like no one cares, but I do have a spportive family so they do call me, email, txt, visit. But there are times they don't know, because I haven't told them. Meaning, they talk to me 2days ago-when I was ok....so they don't know I woke up feeling crappy today.also, there are other times I just don't want totalk to "normal"people-even when they are trying to help, be empathetic
They have never experienced this so they really only get it to a point....also I like your dark humor... "normals/not depressed/not bpd" would think it horrible to send this type of card-but we get eachother!! Like I said, my family does really try, they are great listeners...but they don't alwayd get what I need to do to pull myself out, or what these roller coaster emotions are like. Also, sometimes I think I'm embarased, like why am I the only one this way...I wanted a normal positive life, too...did I get on wrong line before I was born?? (Lol)
Thanks for reading my rant...

Sounds like a business plan in the making

This dx would keep ya in business.

When my sisters are in really bad spots I'll send them an edible arangments.

Could work from home even! And with so many creative BPers…. hmmm
Those cards are a hoot, Trippin'! I'd LOVE if someone would cook something that's for sure, because, like SOOO many others, I get really bad about eating when depressed. It's "too much bother". Even something as "simple" as soup from a can. And that's why people DO such things -- because they know the others will neglect to do things like food because they're not up to it. And the same for us at such times.
So true! But we DO get it. Very much. I know so many times that I laugh (even if simply for having the feeling/experience in common) reading here sometimes. It takes a twisted sense of humor for sure. Think how popular the threads are when people talk about things they do or have done. Some aren't funny (in the traditional sense), and yet they are! Sure, they're usually about the manic end of things, but even depressed there are things are bizarrely amusing in the incongruity of the thought patterns. (For instance, I remember a time of being very depressed with near constant sui thoughts. I'd happened to notice (though not likely through showering…) that the shampoo was very low. F*** it, what's the point in buying more? Won't be needing it. But in the same timeframe, I was thinking about maybe getting a new vacuum cleaner(!) The illogical of "a few dollars not ok, but a lot of dollars, yeah, sure" didn't even strike me at the time(!))

Our daughter has bipolar disorder and yes, it bothers me too!

Nancy

Absolutely. For a Country that's supposed to be fairly "religious" I see very little of it being practiced. My extended family (Aunt, cousins) call themselves spiritual and my siblings, parents get xmas cards, holiday invitations from them every year. I haven't gotten one card from them in over a decade. I don't want to let it bug me but it gets under my skin and I ruminate about it very much. One yr my cousin accidentally sent my family members three xmas cards each. And I didn't receive one! How does that happen that people can ignore a person like this who can't work and has been on SSDI for a decade? I really don't get it! I haven't done anything to merit this! Where does the religion come in? I pretty sure religion hasn't sunk in with these people.

It doesn't really bother me.. If I start to slip a bit I cook and freeze stuff so I can just pull it out.

Maybe you can't pick up a "Bipolar " card at a average store but you can print them off or send Email cards you can personalize. There are also no "cancer" cards Just "get well" Cant they also be use for Bipolar ? Just a thought.

I am just so far into my Bipolar that I pick my battles carefully .

I love the idea of cards for the BP person or any MH issue. I have often lamented that I have not gotten anything like that when I've been in the psych ward. No one ever seems to know what to say. A "get well soon" card doesn't seem quite right for a psych ward visit. I agree with everyone that this could be big business!

BioAdoptMom, thank you for writing that. I had not thought how painful it would be for parents to see their child not getting the same support as others with a medical condition.

Christina, I think the difference is that people with cancer will receive support, to varying degrees (let's face it, our culture is not very good at knowing how to respond to illness or grief), and no one really questions whether or not to send a card. I only jokingly referred to bipolar cards, but the truth is that something like that would show people who have friends, loved ones and co-workers that it's okay to tell someone with a mental health condition that you care.

And I would love it if someone knew that if they wanted to do something, but weren't sure what, that good food is just as appropriate for someone with depression or a mind that's melting from medication adjustments as it is for someone who's sick or grieving. (And I love mm's edible arrangement.)

I hadn't even thought of this. I guess most of us can't get cards and the kind of widespread well wishes and support folks get with many illnesses, because we can't really come out if the closet with most people. That would be a start, if we just felt we could be open about our illnesses without losing our jobs.

But yes, it would also be really nice just to get a "get well soon" card or an edible arrangement.

I'm sure there are plenty of people in a similar boat, though, with illnesses that others don't consider real, or that carry stigma, such as fibromyalgia or HIV. Food for thought in supporting our fellow humans.

Thanks for raising this issue. Great conversation.

Thank you StayinAlive!

I guess in my case it's one of those things that quite a lot of people know about because I've done things publicly that are hard not to notice (plus, there is the gossip), but only two or three have ever come forward to ask how I am and if they can do anything to help. And of those, one has followed through. So it's not that others don't know. I think it's that they just don't know what to do, and if they don't say something, I can't put them at ease about it.

My neighbor was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Every time I see her, I ask how her treatments are going. I gave a card and gift when she got the diagnosis. She's happy to talk about it. Other people freely talk about their illnesses and struggles. But it's just not okay to say, I've been diagnosed with BP and man, these meds are making me feel like I got shot with an elephant dart. I guess that's why I notice the deafening silence when it comes to mental health. Maybe some day it will change. People will be able to talk about it without fear of losing friends or being sidelined at work.

You cannot drink cards, so what is the point of them?

J/k.

We don't have Hallmark culture that is so spread (yet) to have cards for sicks. I honestly, don't think I've seen one, but I never really go to those stores.

But bleh, I have few good friends who care how I am and try to help when my crazy gets to me. That is what matters. I don't care Hallmark doesan't try to cash on my condition. I don't really wanna be pampered when I feel bad, because that just feels enabling. Depression is not a cancer or broken leg. It doesn't prevent you from walking in the store and cooking, you just need to push yourself more. At least I do.