Using Bipolar as a way to hide the truth anyone else

I found out I had BP at the age of 14. Well back at that age I was never very good at math. I never could explain to anyone else why I was bad at math to anyone. All my teachers wanted to say it was from a lack of trying. The truth was I was just really bad with math. I used my BP has a way to gain the pitty of others mainly my teachers and my family so I wouldn't have to tell the truth about my failing grade in math. The truth was when it came to math I was stupid. I was good in History but in math I couldn't do it. I would get so pissed at home when it came time to do math homework. I would throw my pencil and books when I would spend too long on one problem or no matter how many people explained it to me I just couldn't get. Well fast forward 10 years to where I am now. I work two part time jobs and my relationship is in the trash can but not in the dumpster yet. My fiance complains all the time about how I used my BP as a "crutch" to get through life. I finally opened up to him today that I really do. I use it as a way of not having to tell people that at my age that the highest level of math my brain can do is 5th or 6th grade math. He said people wouldn't talk behind my back if I admitted the truth to them. I told him people would make fun of me more if they knew the truth. I hate using it as a way to get me out of doing things that require hard math but at the same time for the last 10 years it has gotten me this far. People feeling sorry for me and helping me even more than before. I need to know how to stop using it and finally come clean to those that I know love me and will be willing to help me that I have always used my BP as a way to never have to ask for help or to have to explain to them the real reason I failed math so much in school. I finished high school with a D average but again that was due to me using my BP so my teachers would give me the extra help without me having to say anything to them about my brain not being able to process hard math problems. My fiance wants me to get a full time job but I know math is a huge requirement in a lot of full time workplaces. How do I face my fear and stop using a "crutch" to get through life. Please do not judge me. I already am having a hard time asking this online. I feel a tad bit better asking people who don't know me verses a T because that means I don't have to see the possible shock and laughter that may come from this.

At this point I would go to the library and get a math tutor. Reseptionis doesn't require math, neither does a lot of full time jobs. My mom was a nurse and was horrible at math great at her job. I wouldn't tell any that you've been using it as a crutch but try to catch yourself and stop when you do.

I worked in payroll at one point for 2 years, and currently need to ring up sales and cellphone repair costs...


Yet everyone knows I suck at math, I didn't even bother taking it as a graduating subject, chose history instead.


I'm not sure exactly what type of non-specific to math jobs require we be good at math, but IMO that's exactly what calculators and excel was invented for.


We can't be great at everything, there's no shame in admitting our shortcomings, but like you've subsequently discovered, there is great shame in blaming them on a dx that has no bearing on them.


I hope you can stop hiding behind your BP, it would at best, not only cause you less grief, but also make you more authentic, for yourself.

There's no shame in being out of step with math. I have several very successful friends who laugh and say they're bad at math. I'm so-so at math. If I make an error, I just say I have other gifts and leave it at that.

This sounds like a subject that has pained you for a long time, and has made you feel ashamed about who you are. I think your first action should be to forgive yourself. No one can be good at everything, infact most of us are only good at one or two things in life. There is no need for you to be hiding behind your bipolar, you didn't decide that you would be bad at math, neither did you decide to have bipolar. They say there is no shame where there is no choice, and I think that is a really good thing to keep in mind.

Be proud of who you are, what you have accomplished despite the difficulties and enjoy being you, warts and all so to say.

I completely suck at Maths. Can't even help my Year 9 son with his Maths homework. Truth is I've always downright sucked at it and come to realise and accept and even joke about how bad I am. It doesn't phase me because whilst I know I suck at Maths there are still other things that I can do.

I'm a teacher but clearly the subjects I majored in .... And teach ... Guess what - NOT Maths! Hate it. Always have, always will. Like who uses Algebra on a daily basis in their job anyway.

I got D in math last year of high school and only because the teacher didn't want to fail me, seeing I was good or semigood in other subjects.

Now it is a joke. I would never use "I am bipolar" as excuse (if something, there is dyscalculia, which actually causes math difficulties, unlike bipolar). Funnily, working as teacher's assistant and translator in field of education............. in encounter mathematics. After all the trouble studying mathless international relations.............Life has funny ways.


But seriously, unlike what mathematics teachers told you, world don't spin around math. And most people laugh when you say you hate math and suck at it and say "me too".