[Blitter2014]

After not being able to hold down a job for long, I started up a business working for myself building. My wife and I had been doing that on and off, when I was able to work, for the last 10 years.

Due to my diminishing health, we closed the doors on the business earlier this month. We are in the process of selling all our assets to reduce our debts to a point where we can hopefully survive on a government supplement.

I am feeling totally lost, like I have lost my identity. I used to be *** the builder, now I am just a stay at home dad. I have been on PC a lot, have done some painting around the house and tidying up my shed over the last few weeks, so trying not to sit around too much. However my wife is already getting shirty with me, complaining that "why aren't you out doing things, there must be so many things you want to do but haven't had the time for". To be honest, I can't even see the point of getting out of bed in the morning - I've nothing I have to do.

And that is just it. There is nothing I want to do. I am not sulking, not feeling sorry for myself, there is just nothing I want to do. I feel like my whole world, everything that defined me is now gone and I don't know what to do with myself. I know this is a huge life change and its what so many people would want (have heaps of time on their hands) but for me I don't know what to do. I'm going to talk to my team and therapist tomorrow about it, but has anyone here gone through losing their job, ended up at home full time and felt lost?

[Crazy Hitch]

Yes.

Lost my job a month ago.

Now at home, super depressed.

The thought circling around my head is right, here is my opportunity to be a great mother and do more for my kids but it's so hard when I feel like I can barely look after myself.

When my kids are at school I practically sleep all day and spring out of bed before they get home so they don't know I was in bed all day. I think some med adjustments have zonked me out too - increased from 50mg seroquel to 400mg seroquel.

My biggest issue at the moment is sleep at night. My body never goes into the "deep sleep mode?" At night because I'm awake Every Single Hour.

I really need to see a therapist and soon because at the moment it's my new pdoc and meds trying to hold the patchwork together.

[Sprite22]

I am a stay at home wife, I know exactly what you are going through. I have this same problem feeling lost. I have no idea what to do when I get bored. Good luck to you!

[SeekerOfLife]

Since the breakup of my family I have been depressed. They were what defined me. For a long time I was just "that woman who was rejected by her family". In time I came to realize that I had to make a new life. Yes, a whole new life based on who I am, what I need, where I want to end up. Also, the "how" is my therapy & self care. When? Now. Every day. Some days are tough. Some days I see the hope. I struggle. Some days I want to give up. But I go on. For me (there is no one else).
Sharing some hope & courage with you, Blitter.

[regretful]

I can empathize with you. A little over a year ago I left a job to return to a family business. At home full-time with not a lot to do, and it has not been good. I'm working my way out of it with medication. I hope that you can do okay through this.

[jack123]

I quit working in August. Most of my family has now separated from me. I have filed for disability because any stress sends my moods in a tailspin. Right now I have isolated myself as much as possible. Going in public or being around people causes panic. I am supposed to find somewhere to volunteer and I am going to look for something in humane society as animals don't judge you. This is a requirement from my Dr. I have started therapy and hopefully it will help. I am having lots of mood changes and it is difficult. I lack motivation to do anything. Live one day at a time and hope for a better tomorrow.

[quovadisuk]

Originally Posted by Blitter2014

After not being able to hold down a job for long, I started up a business working for myself building. My wife and I had been doing that on and off, when I was able to work, for the last 10 years.

Due to my diminishing health, we closed the doors on the business earlier this month. We are in the process of selling all our assets to reduce our debts to a point where we can hopefully survive on a government supplement.

I am feeling totally lost, like I have lost my identity. I used to be *** the builder, now I am just a stay at home dad. I have been on PC a lot, have done some painting around the house and tidying up my shed over the last few weeks, so trying not to sit around too much. However my wife is already getting shirty with me, complaining that "why aren't you out doing things, there must be so many things you want to do but haven't had the time for". To be honest, I can't even see the point of getting out of bed in the morning - I've nothing I have to do.

And that is just it. There is nothing I want to do. I am not sulking, not feeling sorry for myself, there is just nothing I want to do. I feel like my whole world, everything that defined me is now gone and I don't know what to do with myself. I know this is a huge life change and its what so many people would want (have heaps of time on their hands) but for me I don't know what to do. I'm going to talk to my team and therapist tomorrow about it, but has anyone here gone through losing their job, ended up at home full time and felt lost?

I know what I will say willnot help much,but I am in the same situation and also linked with construction and own our own business. I also dont cope with work now and leave it to others to run ,for how long who knows ,but its still running somehow . I have been through a hedge backwards , OD , suicide attempts , and didnt go out for 3 months, total paranoia ... The only thing I have done so far is to get off the drugs , they were doing more harm than good . The NHS i am afraid is not a great option to turn to unless you are very lucky , I have made up my mind to pay to see someone to get myslef straight . I am a lot better now , BUT can lapse into it quite easily and without warning . Just identify the triggers and keep away from them and toxic people (there are loads of them waiting to drag you down) so you are not alone , its OKto feel the way we do because of what we suffer with , and be open about it and tell people , it doesnt matter anymore and by telling people it takes pressure of you as you can be how you feel ie down and tearful and you dont have to hide it anymore ...makes a world of differnce honest . I just accept what I go through on a daily basis , if its a good day great , if not then just do what you can do ... if that means a day in bed then so be it , HOWEVER you MUST seek help whilst this is going on , It may not be a cure ,but it may put some meaning and reasoning into things
I hope some of this helps
PS on the bad days ( and no doubt bad nights and dreams ) write them down even if its 3am in the morning ,,, how you feel , what you saw, as much detail as you can ....once this is done read them the next day when around midday when you are fully awake , and you will find much of what you have written is emotions which doesn't actually exist , only at the time of the dream . so it puts things back into perspective psychologically yourself ( self reasoning) . PLUS you have a log of how you feel when you do speak with someone and you have a visual record to refer ...this helps me ... also speak with your wife about it all and how you feel , no matter what time of day and night . It may be tiring for her but it does help get it out on the table as it were .... best of luck

[Curious651]

Sorry to read your post. Can feel the fear and confusion in the words. Hope you can find a solution and manage to work thing out.

[Angelique67]

My business sort of crashed and burned a long while back. I sort of lost myself. I had struggled all my life to keep myself going. I lost a large part of my identity. Almost like two lives (or three now). If possible, find something you like to do.

[EJB5565]

In 2008 while in a manic state that I was not aware of I walked out on my wife and my business. Later in 2008 I was diagnosed after a hospital stay with Bipolar. The 10 year business crashed and I got a divorce. For years I drifted with no job and no direction. In 2011 I finally got it together and found work. Within a few months I spun into a manic session got hospitalized and consequently fired. Since then I have not worked. I just got my disability a few months ago. I am faced with the very same situation you are in. I feel completely broken and lost. My identity has been stripped from me and I feel like a complete loser in life. I feel your pain that this is all life has to offer for me and what can I possibly look forward to. I have been treat with a Pdoc since 2012 with more then a dozen medicine trials. I still feel sad more often then not and do not feel as though the chemistry is right. I know what your feeling when you talk about no motivation to get up and do anything. Each day is a struggle to get out of bed and put one foot in front of the other. I pray that the chemistry will find some magical balance and even out the depressed state I have been in. I think it will only be when that happens that I can then begin to find some sort of purpose with life. I hope you have success in finding the right meds for you. Good luck and know that others feel your pain TOO!