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Old Oct 18, 2014, 12:23 AM
simon1981 simon1981 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Posts: 6
I have had three manic episodes in my life followed by depressive ones. The first was on 2007, I had normal times of functioning between. After the first episode I tried risperidone for a few months but the side effects were horrible weight gain and not feeling normal.

I quit the drug and slowly made it into a normal few years of functioning until I had another relapse. I quit my good job and drove around the country quite aimlessly photographing much of it then living in my car. After the episode subsided I went back to work but was living at home and in a deep depression.

I went on Lamotrigine and I do not know if it helped but I managed to get out of the depression and have some good relationships and find success in my work again. Then this past march I went into another manic episode.

This was far worse in terms of hurting my family and ex girlfriend. I was quite angry and irrationally took things out on them through emails and text messages. It was similar to the other episodes where I spend months aimlessly traveling the country only wanting to be a photographer and prolong it as much as possible.

As the episode was ending I realized Lamotrigine was not good enough. I found a pdoctor who instead prescribed Devalproex. Now I am in the depressed phase and wondering how to get out of it. I haven't seen my local pdoc since getting back. I will on Tuesday.

Now I returned home again and am accepting the consequences of my episode. I am likely going to loose my new vehicle. I may never get another good paying job. I am in the deep depression where I do not want to do anything, see anyone, let alone get out there and try and find a job.

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  #2  
Old Oct 18, 2014, 09:26 AM
Mountainbard's Avatar
Mountainbard Mountainbard is offline
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Location: North Idaho
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Hello Simon, and welcome to Psych Central. I'm sorry you've been through so much, and I can certainly relate. The roller coaster of on-and-off meds can be brutal. Doing damage to our relations with our loved ones is the price we often pay for a manic episode.

I'm glad you'll be seeing your pdoc soon. Having a strong professional and personal support system and the persistence to stay on meds, and staying after the right combination of meds is key to managing bipolar disorder.

I was diagnosed BP2 this year, after 15 years of struggling with a misdiagnosis of major depressive disorder. Those AD's really did a number on me. My (correct) diagnosis has lifter a huge weight from my shoulders. I finally understand what I really have, and am learning to deal with it.

I put a post in Bipolar Success Stories you may want to check out: http://forums.psychcentral.com/bipol...-recovery.html. In any case I wish you all the best as you continue your healing journey.
__________________
Dx Bipolar II 2014 -- currently in remission

Stay calm, be kind, have hope, love lots, and be well.

"Listen to the deep voice of your soul. Do not be distracted by the voice of your mind." -- Caitlin Matthews[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE]
Thanks for this!
simon1981
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