[Mimielam]

I'm mad at myself for being sick. So angry that it took all these years so that a doc could figure me out..so frustrated that I always knew. Angry and sad because I could no longer do the work I used to do, so went back to school, Anxious because I found a job..a job that is not as interesting or challenging but a job and now after being there for under a year, I've been on sick leave for a month now and..They called me today, I must go in to see an expert doctor for my job soon..one more stress. Angry, worried, feeling so ****** because my mom has many health issues and needs me to be there for her. I feel like a lousy daughter because just walking in with her at the hospital makes me very anxious...because that is where I work and feeling the way I'm feeling I just don't want to run into some people especially my boss or those who will start asking tones of questions. Also since, my meds have changed again..to help me keep calm I'll half to take something to help me calm down and I hope that I'll be able to have a clear mind so I can help mom and not be in a buzz. just thinking I must be able to fall asleep real early to get up early to have time to come out of the fog makes me anxious.

[Crazy Hitch]

[Victoria'smom]

Try to be gentle to yourself. Your not choosing to be sick. Just because you don't want to go does not make you a bad daughter. Hopefully your meds side effects wear off.

[Mimielam]

I made it. Went to bed earlier, was up for 2 hours before leaving my house to pick up my mother on time to drive her to the hospital. There, I dropped her off and told her I would go park the car and make sure she got to where she needed to be. Parked in the staff parking, walk in the staff door not running into anybody I knew...ahhhhh relief. Once mom was all settled I left. It was time for me to go needed that so I could be ok to come back later. Spent the day waiting for a phone call from her nurse, she was good and ready to go. Best of all, they would take her to the door where I could pick her up...WOW..perfect.

I'm also happy because in the car I was calm and able to listen, drove her home, went in with her for about 30 minutes, saw that she was ok, did not need anything and drove home..nice a slow without being overly exhausted and most of all really really happy that mom said that she felt I was better and that it helped her feel better also.