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#1
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That is almost what I did yesterday on my way home from work. It was a difficult day at work- fighting tears and trying to act happy (no one likes a ***** faced waitress). As soon as I got on the interstate I had an overwhelming urge to drive into a pole. I have thought about this before but never would have actually done it. Yesterday I would have- it was overwhelming. Somehow I made myself pull onto the shoulder and I did something I never do. I asked for help. I called my parents and my husband to come get me and get me safely home. My husband knows about me wanting to drive into a pole- my parents just think I had an anxiety attack.
Friday I was so happy and then yesterday I'm trying to get in a car accident. Today I am ok. I am tired. Mentally so tired. I don't know what to do. I have never asked for help like I did yesterday. Ever. So that was good.
__________________
BP II --200 mg lamictal---900mg lithium---.5 xanax |
![]() Crazy Hitch, Darvula, pegasus, pink&grey, unaluna, vital, ~Christina
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#2
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Please let your mental health team know that you are feeling this bad.
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__________________
![]() Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
![]() ozzy1313
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#3
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Quote:
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![]() ozzy1313
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#4
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I'm glad you asked for help. Mixed episodes can be hell.
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
![]() ozzy1313
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#5
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Took a lot of courage for you to call for help... You did the right thing. Please call your Pdoc first thing in the morning.
Stay safe
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() ozzy1313
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#6
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Definitely call your p-doc. I know that when I start having those thoughts and letting my car drift just a little toward a tree or something, I know that it is serious and time to get some help. Great job calling for help. Now it is time for your mental health team to help you out some more.
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![]() ozzy1313
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#7
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I left a message for my pdoc saying I really needed to see her ASAP. I just saw her Thursday but I am confused about her med instructions. She upped my lamictal to 200 but said I can go up to 250 and she gave me an rx for trileptal if needed. After hearing about yesterday maybe she will change that plan.
__________________
BP II --200 mg lamictal---900mg lithium---.5 xanax |
![]() Darvula, pegasus
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#8
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glad you're SAFE. had those thoughts myself a few times and had t o get some help. it is a terrible way to be when driving. i can feel for you. hope the meds i=will help and you find some resolution
__________________
when people try and crush your soul, remember that only you can damage yourself. |
![]() ozzy1313
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#9
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I never knew anyone else had thoughts like these. I have several timesin the past almost done something horrible.
I am so happy youre ok!!! |
![]() ozzy1313, pink&grey
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#10
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Quote:
__________________
![]() Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
#11
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I've had this vivid thought and imagery in the past before too and it can be pretty scary.
I am so glad that you reached out for help. It's the best thing you could ever have done. |
![]() ozzy1313
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#12
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I have had this happen to me too. The thoughts are one thing, but feeling compelled to do it is very scary. So glad you called and that your family was there to help you out.
__________________
P&G (38) - Bipolar... Zoloft, Lamictal, Wellbutrin, Klonopin and Buspirone Son (16) - Mood disorder NOS Daughter (11) - so far so good |
![]() ozzy1313
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#13
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Over the years I've had many thoughts but often have the drive off the road or into big trucks. It's been hard to stop myself and actually not always suicidal when I gave them.
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![]() pegasus
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#14
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That's the thing- I wasn't suicidal. I don't want to die.
__________________
BP II --200 mg lamictal---900mg lithium---.5 xanax |
#15
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Sounds more like a sudden impulse/compulsion than a suicidal thought, but that makes it even more dangerous. Very glad to hear you called for help - it was a real feat of achievement to fight a sudden strong impulse like that. Hopefully the family have taken your car keys and will make sure you don't get back in that car while you are in this frame of mind. Hope all goes well for you now.
Darvula |
#16
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Did you start a new med recently? The time I nearly did this I had been put on Effexor and I think it contributed.
__________________
P&G (38) - Bipolar... Zoloft, Lamictal, Wellbutrin, Klonopin and Buspirone Son (16) - Mood disorder NOS Daughter (11) - so far so good |
#17
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my lamictal was increased from 150 to 200 but had only been two days
__________________
BP II --200 mg lamictal---900mg lithium---.5 xanax |
#18
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I doubt that would cause it. Hope you are feeling better today!
__________________
P&G (38) - Bipolar... Zoloft, Lamictal, Wellbutrin, Klonopin and Buspirone Son (16) - Mood disorder NOS Daughter (11) - so far so good |
![]() ozzy1313
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#19
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I am going in to see my pdoc today at 2. I just saw her Thursday and I am so grateful to have a pdoc that is able to see me when I need to get in.
__________________
BP II --200 mg lamictal---900mg lithium---.5 xanax |
#20
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I totally get it then! I've had a hard time stopping myself!
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![]() ozzy1313
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#21
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pdoc put me on 300mg lithium. She is so caring, I'm lucky. I have had had quite a few jerk pdoc in the past.
__________________
BP II --200 mg lamictal---900mg lithium---.5 xanax |
#22
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Quote:
Be well and stay safe. |
#23
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I have had the same urge as well a couple of times. Mainly on my drive to work. Good call on reaching out for help. Best thing you can do instead.
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#24
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I was afraid to drive over bridges and overpasses because I was afraid I would get out and jump. Luckily my pdoc was quite understanding and is helping me. I'm glad that you reached out.
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