[RavenStark]

Good morning everyone.

I am wondering how many of you had suspected bipolar disorder before your doc had diagnosed it? I have never been to inpatient, but i had become obsessed with studying psychology. I found myself relating to the stories and descriptions of bipolar. This drove me into a deep depression. I had been being treated for depression for a few years without (medical) success. I'd still frequent either mixed or hypomanic states, but the anti depressant did nothing for my lows.

When i went in to my family doc, he had confirmed it (since my father is most likely bp as well). He sent me to the psychiatrist, and i was put on bp meds.

How many people suspect bp before the doc? When i feel well, i tell myself i made up the whole thing because i read about it first. Please tell me i'm just paranoid! The docs in my town have a bad reputation, so this adds to my paranoia about my own self dx before the docs.

I self-diagnosed way before i saw a psychiatrist. It was clear to me that i had bipolar. My behavior was text book. I was relieved to get the diagnosis because i thought it meant i would take meds and get rid of it. 22 years later i am still on the meds merry go round so, so much for that.

[SillyKitty]

Originally Posted by apfei

I self-diagnosed way before i saw a psychiatrist. It was clear to me that i had bipolar. My behavior was text book. I was relieved to get the diagnosis because i thought it meant i would take meds and get rid of it. 22 years later i am still on the meds merry go round so, so much for that.

I second this.

[RavenStark]

Good! Thank you guys so much! That makes me feel better that others knew before the docs. I now feel less like i'm a really good hypocondriac. Lol thanks guys.

[LacunaCoiler]

I hadn't a clue! But then again I was in the middle of a manic episode and I thought it was just me having fun. The depression and low times were just something I had to deal with, part of life sort to speak. The highs were just fun part of my life and I was living the life. It was the gf who first noticed it and then the therapist my gf forced me to see. It wasn't until I came down from the high (due to meds) that I saw that I was displaying classic bipolar symptoms.

[muffinhead]

I had a strong conviction that I was bipolar before my diagnosis, although I believe that I have lived most of my life oblivious to my manic symptoms.

I had no idea. I went from a deep, dark depression to exploding at work, sleepless, restless, had grand plans but could not pull anything together, went to pdoc for the irritable/sleepless symptoms and got the dx. This was 20 years ago, though, and no one talked about bipolar the way they do now.

[BipolaRNurse]

I'd long suspected I was bipolar, but didn't want to deal with it so I never saw a psychiatrist until I was basically forced to by my primary care doctor. Then when I did, my pdoc asked me right off why in the world did I think I was bipolar, and then proceeded to explain at least 40 ways how I might not be. However, I left the office that day with a provisional diagnosis of BP-NOS, and later on I was diagnosed with BP 1. It seemed kind of harsh, but I have some pretty severe manic episodes and it only takes one to earn a BP 1 diagnosis.

[Crazy Hitch]

You were reading up on it through psychology and you could see the traits within yourself. Sometimes we know our own characteristics with great insight.

Considering there could be a family history, coupled by the fact that your dr and pdoc confirmed it, makes me think you should let the diagnosis stand as it is and continue with your meds.

Be well.

[~Christina]

I never really thought about it , I was busy living my life , I "thought " everyone had a racing non stop mind and depressions, insomnia and spending and irribility swings, call me clueless lol .. I just went about living my life .. I wasn't diagnosed until age 43 ... My first symptoms apparently started around age 6 ... as far as I have been able to trace it back.

[RavenStark]

Thanks everyone for the nice words and encouragement. I do believe i at least have bp II or possibly rapid cycling. My mania does seem to come and go quicker than everyone elses, but the depression likes to hold tighter.

For the last decade or so, my family joked that my father was bipolar. He did have an incident in which he was placed on a 72 hour hold. Was never given any type of meds (that im aware of) and released. When i took an interest in psychology did i realize that the bp joke held a lot of truth.. Then i saw it in myself.

[RavenStark]

I know it sounds horribly cruel to joke about the fact that my father has bp. He did earn the reputation unfortunately. He has done some terrible things to his family, myself included. This is what caused my depression when i seen the symptoms of bp in myself.

[kmptrgeek]

I never saw it coming and was only put in the hospital after putting a gun in my mouth and pulling the trigger seemed to be a well thought out solution. Like a lot of people with bp, I was originally diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. That wasn't really a surprise. When I began being asked about things like "do you have times that you feel in a really good mood and that you are the smartest person you've ever met?" Now I'm labeled "Bipolar Light", which is what my psych calls BPII. Also, now he's told me I rapid cycle like a Geiger counter. I just went 40 hours with no sleep until I finally just knocked myself out with Seroquel. Now I'm hypomanic apparently.

Sorry to take over the thread. You may now all continue with your normally scheduled shows.

[tipper1492]

I had no idea and was age 62 before my psychiatrist told me.

[ChaoticSymphony]

I had no clue. Never even crossed my mind until a friend with bipolar said "dude, you're bipolar for real". I went and saw the psychiatrist and on purpose never expressed what she said so there wouldn't be any influences. The next appt he said I suffered from bipolar.

I always knew I had low periods.

[RavenStark]

Originally Posted by ChaoticSymphony

I had no clue. Never even crossed my mind until a friend with bipolar said "dude, you're bipolar for real". I went and saw the psychiatrist and on purpose never expressed what she said so there wouldn't be any influences. The next appt he said I suffered from bipolar.


I always knew I had low periods.

Sometimes the jokes or hurtful things said during arguments are true. When i was told insultingly to go see a shrink, i knew i needed one. It just shocked me that it seemed he knew i needed one. I thought i was being sneaky while dealing with the discovery of my own bp via old college textbooks. It had become that apparent that i couldnt function without meds.

[Secretum]

I suspected it back in high school. In early college, I became more and more convinced. I saw a T who referred me to a pdoc, and she confirmed to dx. Pretty much every pdoc I've seen since thinks I'm either bipolar or schizoaffective, except for the pdoc I saw in the hospital, who said I have "bipolar symptoms" and high anxiety. So I don't really know what my real diagnosis is. But anyway, to answer your question...I thought for awhile that I was bipolar and then got a bp diagnosis.

[smartbutcrazy]

I knew for sure. I enjoyed psychology and thought my symptoms seemed similar to the stories of people with bipolar disorder. My initial dx at age 18 was major depression and ADD. I was medicated with an SSRI and methylphenidate. The combination worked for a while and things seemed to get better and better until I became manic. The doc took me off the stimulant but didn't diagnose the bipolar, instead figured I was abusing the stimulant. I didn't do very well on the SSRI alone so eventually stopped taking it. I stopped seeing the doc and continued to cycle for a few years. I eventually ended up in a mania so severe my family friends and coworkers were expressing concern. Someone called the doc for me and family and friends stayed with me until I could get in to be seen...even though they were afraid of me.

[Curious651]

cant say I thought about it. Knew I was depressed and had some better days then not. Thought the mania was the normal feeling and wanted more of it. Was not till the pdoc put me on anti depressant that I was thrown into a tail spin. I understand that is a way some pdocs check to see if ppl are bp. If we act a certain way, Bingo. We have a winner. That is how I came to find out. Kind of sucked.

[BioAdoptMom3]

Our now 15 y/o daughter told us last spring, at the age of 14, 3 years after being diagnosed with anxiety and depression, that her doctor was wrong and she knew she had bipolar. Two weeks later she was admitted to a residential treatment center where she was diagnosed with bipolar! I am sure this diagnosis is accurate. Both of her bio parents had the disease. Substance abuse and suicide seems to run rampant through her bio family. Lithium works for her and stimulants send her into mania. She has other symptoms as well. I am not sure how we missed it all those years. I guess we had too much faith in the original diagnosis just because it came from a doctor.

Nancy

[RavenStark]

Hi nancy,

Dont blame yourself for not knowing earlier! Its amazing that it was caught so early. I wish my parents would have caught it. I'm certain my first depressive and hypomanic state had occurred when i lived with my parents and they had no idea! There needs to be more aware parents, such as yourself.

[lilacsmoke]

Originally Posted by RavenStark

I found myself relating to the stories and descriptions of bipolar.

I had been being treated for depression for a few years without (medical) success. I'd still frequent either mixed or hypomanic states, but the anti depressant did nothing for my lows.

I am literally in this boat right at the moment. I've been treated for MDD for the past three years with some success, however I have also realized (especially looking back) that being on antidepressants alone actually triggered/enhanced my hypomanic/manic episodes, and did help me from reaching the super low-lows, but I was still pretty bad. Which has definitely made me question why I am on this "rollercoaster" and not getting better.

So I started doing tons of research on bipolar disorder, and was literally nodding along while reading about it. It was kind of a eureka moment that finally explained my behaviours.

I'm actually seeing my pdoc tomorrow morning, and being started on a new medication to FINALLY start treating this. So, fingers crossed that this will be a positive thing, and a step in the right direction.

But to answer your question, yes, I have been suspecting for a while that I was originally mis-diagnosed, and did infact have BP to some degree.

[lamez]

I did not suspect bipolar. But i many times felt that I've got depression. But i brushed those feelings off thinking that things like these cant happen to me. They are just in the books. Took me 4 years before I saw a Doctor.

[lacerta]

I diagnosed myself reading about various kinds of depressions. Took BP test on internet, which I scored high to be manic. Was treated for depression, told p-doc about my suspicions, he confirmed.