[Welder]

I have bipolar and my teenage daugther has ADD and depression. She is in a slump for the last month or more and can't seem to get out of it.
She went through a bullying situation were she was the victim, spends alot of time in her room alone or in closet, this is after school and in the evening when home. She spends to much time on her iphone and some of her grades aren't very good, but some are. Her and her mother fight some some but not as bad as it has been. She is having trouble listening and following directions and I don't handle her as gently as I should, she breaks down.

These are all classic signs of depression aren't they? Even myself I'm not sure when I'm in depression or mania so not sure how to regconize it in her.

My wife thinks if she is stern and yells at her, it will get her going the right direction. My wife says being kind doesn't get results, that yelling and agressive is the only thing she understands. I been through that with my wife as well with actions toward me when I'm in spells. I find myself being hard on my daugther about her grades or the things she does that don't make sense, afterward I feel very bad.

These are all classic signs of a spell of depression aren't they?

What can I do to help her out of this?

Thanks, everyone here has been very helpful to me.

[RavenStark]

I'd definitely agree. It could be more than teenage angst, especially considering your bp. Have her checked out. What can it hurt? Maybe even trying an online test before the appt could give some clues. Youre an awesome parent for noticing these things and being concerned. Too many turn a blind eye and blame issues on kids being teenagers.

[lacerta]

I think it's tricky about depression and teenagers, as many of the symptoms might be normal oddness related to age.
Would it be possible for you and/or the mother of your daughter to attend courses or read a book on how to deal, how to speak with teenagers?

[Welder]

My daugther is on an anti depressent, she has been diagosed.

[pink&grey]

It's hard to say when it's a teenage girl. I would take her to a therapist to get screened for D. When I was a teenager I was doing things like taking handfuls of Tylenol and burning myself but parents did not know. I wanted to drop out of high school even though I was class president. In retrospect I was depressed but I didn't know. I still don't know sometimes and Im 35!!

In either case trying to be gentle and supportive is the best thing for a parent to do. Easier said than done. I know some parents have expectations for their kids deeply set in their minds. If the child doesn't meet those expectations the parent can struggle. That could be happening with your wife. My mom is like this with all 5 of her kids.

[pink&grey]

I think we just cross posted. It sounds like the anti-depressants may need to be upped. If she is DX'd with D then she just needs to know you both care about her and love her. For me, when I'm depressed, I feel like none of my loved ones give a crud about me.

[Victoria'smom]

These are all classic signs of a spell of depression aren't they?

The difference between teenage and adult depression
Depression in teens can look very different from depression in adults. The following symptoms of depression are more common in teenagers than in their adult counterparts:

Irritable or angry mood – As noted above, irritability, rather than sadness, is often the predominant mood in depressed teens. A depressed teenager may be grumpy, hostile, easily frustrated, or prone to angry outbursts.
Unexplained aches and pains – Depressed teens frequently complain about physical ailments such as headaches or stomachaches. If a thorough physical exam does not reveal a medical cause, these aches and pains may indicate depression.
Extreme sensitivity to criticism – Depressed teens are plagued by feelings of worthlessness, making them extremely vulnerable to criticism, rejection, and failure. This is a particular problem for “over-achievers.”
Withdrawing from some, but not all people – While adults tend to isolate themselves when depressed, teenagers usually keep up at least some friendships. However, teens with depression may socialize less than before, pull away from their parents, or start hanging out with a different crowd.

-source

How old is your daughter? What grade is she in? Here is the accommodations you can request for her. My public school had a "5 year plan" available to anyone that couldn't / didn't want to handle 6 classes a semester. (public school) My sister-in-law & cousin-in-law (and my son) did part time virtual school/ part time public school so they weren't overwhelmed by the amount of work they had to do.

Your virtual schools

IACA
IAVA

Honestly, She needs a full psych exam (4+ hrs.). It's recommended every 2 years for children with mental health issues. Is she seeing a therapist at least weekly? Are you working with the guidance? Is she getting in trouble in school/home? I was Dx. Depressed as a teen when it was bp.