[partybear]

I have struggled with bipolar disorder from as far back as childhood. Didn't receive a formal diagnosis or treatment for anything other than depression and anxiety until 8 years ago. It seems that no matter what medication cocktail we try nothing seems to really help. I find lately I am feeling more hopeless than ever. I think about suicide quite frequently, have not nor have I ever attempted or even made a plan, just think about it. I always feel too guilty to even consider going through with it. I've read that ECT can be helpful for people like me, but I've never even discussed it with my doctor because the side effects scare me. Memory loss really scares me. And, as much as my brain has betrayed me with this illness, it has also always been one of my best qualities. I'm smart, have an excellent memory and love to create art. Not sure how much of that I would risk losing if I decided to try ECT and that scares me. Have any of you had the treatment, know someone who has or have any medical background that could help me?

I haven't had ECT although it was once recommended for me. But here is a YouTube video, on ECT, uploaded just a few days ago by depression counselor Douglas Bloch. Perhaps it may help:

[Goldcrest]

Hi Partybear

I also have had bipolar for most of my life, although it wasn't diagnosed till recent times. In the last few years I have tried many drug combinations and nothing has worked, just struggled with bad side effects.

ECT was suggested for me, but I was worried about the same issues you mention. I decided not to have it. However I met two patients in hospital who did have it and felt it had helped them very much. For them the memory problems were not long lasting, but I have heard of cases where they have been. For me I felt it was too much of a risk to take.

It is a difficult decision. I wish you well with it.

Goldcrest

[Crazy Hitch]

Hi partybear,

I'm sorry that I don't have an answer to your question and that you've found yourself in this situation.

There certainly are members on here who have gone through ect and I'm pretty sure you will find some who are willing to share their stories with you.

Be well and I hope you get some input soon.

[BNLsMOM]

I had ECT for a year. Before it I was so far gone that I had written a good bye letter to my family. ECT saved my life. I have been stable for more than a year. Although I am struggling right now, I have been able to get off all my meds. They were not working and caused more harm than good.
As far as side effects go, I was useless on the day of my treatment and I do have memory loss. I have lost entire chunks of time but I am honestly not sure if it is due to the illness, the ECT or the meds. It doesn't affect my quality of life right now and is sometimes amusing when my family talks about something i don't remember. While I was going through treatments I was somewhat impaired and felt mentally dull, but again I was on meds too. My last ECT was a year and a half ago and I have been off meds for a year.

[Goldcrest]

If you look under the section on Treatments there is a heading Other Treatments, and there are more posts on there about ECT.

[Wander]

I am an intelligent, creative person who was worried about the side side effects of ECT but finally chose to have it this year. First I had 6 unilateral ECT's and had few side effects including almost no memory loss. This lifted me out if depression for about a month then I fell back in and was planning suicide. This led my doctor to recommend bilateral ECT, which I agreed to. This had much worse side effects, mostly memory loss. The memory loss was only around the weeks of my treatment. I struggled to store short term memory. I would forget people visited me, conversations I had and places I went. When I checked out of the hospital I was shocked I had been there a month as I thought it was only a couple of weeks. My long term memory and skills were not touched and I am doing really well now, although it has only been 7 weeks. Hope this helps. Feel free to ask more questions if you need to.

I forgot to mention I was at university while having the second round of ECT. Only one unit but I still managed to ace it despite being very ill for two months and having ECT. I actually wrote a draft of a story (I'm studying writing) while in hospital and forgot I'd done it. It was great and should get me an excellent mark.

[rockymtngal]

I had 6 unilateral and 5 bilateral treatments this past May. I have some memory loss during the month of treatment. I've forgotten going to some places like restaurants.

It helped. It regulated my sleep. Instead of feeling like I needed to sleep 18 hours a day I now feel like 8 hours is enough. It didn't take away the depression but the regulating of the sleep made me feel more human and less zombie like. My treatment was in may and I'm still experiencing the help with sleep.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Polibeth]

I've had a lot of bilateral ECT. I have had quite a bit of memory loss - I even forgot going to a concert I apparently had a great time at. However, the benefits have outweighed the memory loss. Now I get a "booster" ECT about every six months. If you have any questions you can PM me.