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#1
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So I've had bipolar for years, diagnosed 15 years ago, but tracing it back it started when I was in my early to middle teens.During my teens, while at school I was an A grade student, always being in the top 5% of all my subjects. Not to brag, but I was an achiever at school.
Enough said. That over the last 20 years has changed dramatically. Where I was once fluent in thought and word, I now struggle to put sentences together. Where I could draw from a reasonable vocabulary, now I find myself using the same words over and over. Where I could comprehend either a book, movie or situation, now I am now a deer in the headlights. Where I could recall something (either learned or perhaps a movie) now I can watch, read or learn the same thing a few years later without recalling it. I thought it was just something to do with either my bipolaror medications for. Both my Doctor and a Pdoc's that I have asked in the past have thought likewise - especially in relation to loss of short term memories. What I have noted on PC however is that there are quite a few on here that seem very knowledgeable, and seem to be able to draw on and recall that knowledge quite easily. And articulate themselves well. They can recall information from the past and put it into words like a pro. Then there is me. Like I can read something someone has written and think "I agree with that, I know that, how come I couldn't say that, or how come I didn't think of that?" So, does anyone else have experience where their medication or bipolar in general has "dumbed them down" ? Not just short term but long term?
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"Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes" ![]() Success and failure are two of many words we get to define, not society. Our success depends on definition and intentions, not actions Last edited by Blitter2014; Nov 19, 2014 at 04:06 AM. |
![]() Anonymous327501, GALAXYGAL, notALICE, Patsy Cline, SeekerOfLife, ~Christina
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![]() GALAXYGAL, Patsy Cline, Trippin2.0, ~Christina
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#2
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I want to reply to this, but have to organize my thoughts. Suffice it to say YES to your question.
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![]() Patsy Cline
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![]() Blitter2014
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#3
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I feel exactly the same way. It has become worse as the years go by. I don't know if its the meds or the disease itself but even sometimes when having to say a simple message like "Hey boss, so and so wants to have lunch with you", I lose my words. It's embarrassing. Half of the memories that friends and fam remember, I don't. And like you I read and watch movies but ask me to relate it to you in my own words and it's like asking a regular preschooler to recite the declaration of independence.
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Guns aren't lawful, nooses give, gas smells awful, you might as well live- Dorothy Parker |
![]() Blitter2014
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#4
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I experience similar difficulties with memory and other aspects of cognition. It's gotten to the point where I can barely cope day to day. The number of tasks I am unable to effectively attend to has grown ever greater as one problem precipitates and potentiates another until my capacity to cope with the continued failure to arrive at a solution to these problems triggers suicidal ideation - just now I had an additional thought and part of a sentence formed, but I was unable to hold it in memory strongly enough to recall any aspect of what that thought was. Sometimes I can, more often I cannot.
It takes ages to learn new information and using that information is almost involuntary, as if I do little more than output data with little to no willful intent; no plot or method of discourse, simply an ad-hoc improv whose direction is determined by something I don't quite understand, let alone exert conscious control over. I do not 'know' things, just contain them like a repository. It's like I'm not even real, just there, with pre-formed responses; when I'm talking with others I usually cannot remember what I or they said not but thirty seconds ago, just random bits of information which sometimes can be used to inform me of what is being discussed.
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BP II - Sleep, Diet, Exercise, Phototherapy. |
![]() Patsy Cline
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![]() Blitter2014
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#5
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I discuss this problem with my husband all of the time because it bothers me so much. Is it the meds or the BP? I have two college degrees and my co-workers know this so when I sit there trying to get a basic sentence out it is so embarrassing. What really bothers me is I use to have a photographic memory. I would go in to take a test, picture of my notes in my head, write it all down word for word, turn it in and get an "A" on the test. At my job I can remember little things here and there but it is becoming less and less and it scares me. What I'm really having a difficult time with for the past few years is interviewing. I'm trying to get into my field within the company I work for and all of these issues seem to be a problem for me during the interview and then my nerves take over making it worse.
Is it the BP or the meds? My BP started at 15 but wasn't correctly diagnosed until 27, and have been on meds since 27, I am now 35. |
![]() Patsy Cline
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![]() Blitter2014
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#6
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Resounding yes also. I'm kinda even done with being able to "fake" normal anymore. I prided myself on my reading, spelling, articulation and I'm losing those things. Not all the time but too often. I'm 43. Worse with age yet I was only diagnosed last Feb. The disease or meds making me worse? Hormones? Peri menopause?
You're not alone. I havent found helpful tips or I'd share. Hugs,
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notALICE MIDWAY upon the journey of our life I found myself within a forest dark, For the straightforward pathway had been lost. Bipolar I |
![]() Patsy Cline
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![]() Blitter2014
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#7
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I can relate:
I am no longer on a sedative medication and I still have difficulty focusing. I have to edit everything I write on here. I don't think it's age (54) because I am still active. I also used to have a photographic memory and got A's in school. I used to be both a concrete and abstract thinker. I used to be articulate. I used to be detail oriented, but since taking meds I have major problems with short-term memory. I finish projects at work immediately so I won't forget what I need to do. People are always telling me "you don't have to do it now" yes I do just don't ask me what I did later and to explain it without stuttering. My reading says that manic episodes kill gray matter, but so do APs. I am thinking about quitting my meds to experiment to see if my cognitive skills would improve without meds. I would welcome hypo-mania if I could control it but don't want to have the gut wrenching depressions. I would like to think it would be enough for me to just have a therapist for support to monitor my symptoms and keep me on track with coping skills. Oddly, my insurance covers my meds but not therapy. I feel trapped in my current medication therapy, but honestly, I don't know how much of the dumbing down is due to the meds or the natural course of the illness. Bipolar 1 Latuda Lamotrigine Cogentin Levothyroxine
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Science cannot solve the ultimate mystery of nature. And that is because, in the last analysis, we ourselves are a part of the mystery that we are trying to solve ~ Max Planck Last edited by GALAXYGAL; Nov 19, 2014 at 03:39 PM. |
![]() Blitter2014
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#8
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I lost my nursing career because of what I call "bipolar brain-fade". I don't know whether it's the disease or the meds used to treat it---maybe it's a combination of both---but my short-term memory is crap and I don't see it coming back. I am on a high dose of Lamictal and two anti-psychotics, any and all of which can contribute to cognitive difficulties.
I haven't read a book since 2011. I used to be a voracious reader, but now I lack the attention span required to read a book and I forget what I read anyway. I can't retain new knowledge so I really appreciate having lived long enough to have a past upon which I can draw for wisdom. This does NOT help with job situations where I have to learn new skills, however. I lost my last one because I could not learn their computer system or memorize large amounts of material. I get along fairly well, though, because I use Post-it notes for everything I have to remember, like phone numbers and reminders for appointments and such. I do better when I write things down---it seems to help make the connection for me if I physically write something on a piece of paper.
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DX: Bipolar 1 Anxiety Tardive dyskinesia Mild cognitive impairment RX: Celexa 20 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Geodon 40 mg AM, 60 mg PM Klonopin 0.5 mg PRN Lamictal 500 mg Levothyroxine 125 mcg (rx'd for depression) Trazodone 150 mg Zyprexa 7.5 mg Please come visit me @ http://bpnurse.com |
![]() Blitter2014, GALAXYGAL, notALICE
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#9
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I have gone on the med merry go round for numerous years and all it seemed to do was take away my ability to think and feel .
I put a halt to it , dumped Lithium and I'm feeling my intelligence returning daily.
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Blitter2014, GALAXYGAL, Trippin2.0
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#10
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Quote:
My speech and language use becomes impaired, too. Unfortunately, this is the area I feel the most long-term effect. I feel like I loose my words or just cannot organize my thoughts well enough to articulate them in spoken form sometimes. This does not lend itself to conversation; therefore, I withdraw socially : ( My short term memory is flat awful. I don't have the slightest clue why. I don't know if it ever was good, so it may be stagnant.
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"My favorite pastime edge stretching" Alanis Morissette ![]() |
![]() Blitter2014
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![]() Blitter2014
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#11
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Quote:
I want to say you're not alone and it may not be your meds causing it. Bipolar does effect your executive cognitive function and it's being researched more and more. I'm not on meds and I struggle with mine. It's very frustrating and makes you feel alone, because it doesn't effect everyone the same. But, a lot of what you said is true for me as well. I want to let you know your executive cognitive function is not a problem with intelligence. Executive cognitie function is things like memory, processing, and ability to focus on things. Sorry you're going through this.
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![]() Blitter2014, notALICE, Trippin2.0, ~Christina
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#12
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Epilim sedated me too much and I found it hard to think quckly but never had any sort of cognitive effects, it also didn't control my mania very well. Lithium affects my short-term memory and recall and my ability to learn ew things, I can learn them it just takes longer. But I am willing to live with this and as long as the people close to me understand I am willing to sacrifice this to be more stable.
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![]() Blitter2014
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#13
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6 months of lithium and I was dumber than a rock.
Took me 2 years to regain my lost IQ points, now I only have mild cognitive hiccups during actual episodes... Like I cant retain new information and struggle with articulating myself when depressed, and I have zero concentration span when severely hypo...
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![]() DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD ![]() |
![]() Blitter2014
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#14
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I asked my Dr about memory loss so he had his nurse give me a screening memory test. I came in the mid-range, so he ordered a neuro work-up with a CT scan!!!!
I think a 20 minute screening exam is BS. I'm going to my family doctor and if she thinks it's worth pursuing, I'll insist on a more extensive memory test by a psychologist before I freak out over one "test". I asked some of the people I know and they couldn't do some of the things she asked me. "What's the date?" Who knows the date unless they check their phone?? Unless it is a special occasion, who cares? "Count backwards by 7's from 50" Go ahead and try that! Complete BS. I do know my memory isn't what it used to be, but I'm 58 years old, and have been on psych drugs for 30 years. What am I going to do about it? Stop my meds? I don't think so, thank you very much. I'm stuck with a declining memory. I adapt by cues and notes on my phone. Oh yeah, and that's how I keep track of the date too. |
![]() Blitter2014
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#15
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I'm age 63. This subject interested me so much I had to revisit memory loss. I have same problems. I can't recall what I just read, but maybe this will, or will not help. SEARCH: GOOGLE - Do Bipolar Medications Help Memory? Two different sites that came up first:
Bipolar and Memory Loss - Does this sound like you? Listed here are: 1. Bipolar and the loss of semantic. 2. Loss of sensory memory and bipolar. 3. Procedural memory loss and bipolar disorder. 4. Problems with working memory in bipolar. 5. Long term memory loss and bipolar. Other sight: Bipolar Disorder and Memory Loss - Every day health. Mania - studies have shown that memory and cogniton problems are at their worst during manic episodes. Patients operating at high speeds due to mania have hard time encoding new info into their memories, and also show difficulty accessing memories. Depression - Other studies show that depressive phases also can create problems with memory. When your mind is preoccupied with negative thoughts about yourself, your world, your future, you aren't as able to concentrate and (be) in the moment. Also when bipolar patients who are between mood swings also have memory problems and other cognitive deficits. So on and so on ---------------- What I thought I heard, or read, true or not, medications would help delay the brains damage from memory. |
![]() Blitter2014, Trippin2.0
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#16
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OH- research also questions chemical make up of the brain. As such there can be, or are, the neurobiological way by inhibiting the connectivity between nerve celols.
Also medications can and do interfere with memory loss with lithium being "the most notorious." |
![]() Blitter2014, notALICE, Trippin2.0
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