[mrs_okm90]

So Hi everyone, I'm Olivia and I'm 24 yrs. old. This is my first thread, and I'm new to this forum so please go easy on me. Lol. I have been diagnosed with manic bipolar since the age of 13, and have had a history of different mood disorders and serious substance abuse problems. I have been clean for over 2 years now. I become attached to people to easily and am an EXTREMELY co-dependent person, especially when it involves my husband of 2 years.

My husband and I had a brief split (a month long) about 6-8 months ago, during that time he went back to his ex of three years off and on. They slept together a few times, and he told me he still loved her, etc. She then broke it off because she claimed she was pregnant by her prior boyfriend who she originally left my husband for in the first place. Anyways, I was obsessed with the girl prior to this all happening. I messaged her on his Facebook a few times acting like him, she'd message back, then she found out it was me and blocked both us. Then at one point she unblocked us, and I added her. I became even more obsessed. I looked through her pictures almost everyday, I'd stalk her Facebook page for updates. I'd go out of my way to comment on things just to see what she'd say.

Since my husband and my split, and him going back to her my obsession has worsened. I made a fake Facebook just so I could be friends with her. I find myself looking at her profile every hour, sometimes more. I look through her pictures constantly. I google search her and creep on her instagram and old Myspace just to see her. It's not an attraction thing, it's an obsession. I am unhealthily jealous of her, I think shes beautiful. Way prettier then me. My husband doesn't know the extent of my obsession but even what he does know makes him uncomfortable. I hate it! I don't want to be this way. I don't want to feel like I'm still in competition or to obsess over her and her every move. She is in fact pregnant, I guess by her boyfriend but I even find myself stressing and freaking out about it possibly being my husband's child. I mean it was around the same time period that they were together that she become pregnant, even though that's why she says she broke it off with my husband. I can't stop myself from worrying or from obsessing over the girl. I hate myself for it.

Today was the day of my psych eval and I was prescribed Lithium 300 mg 2x daily, by my psychiatrist. She asked me tons of questions, yet I never mentioned this because I didn't even think to do so. Now that I think back on it I wish I would have.

Is this behavior normal? Does everyone do this? How do I stop it? It's almost uncontrollable. What do I do? Please help.

[kaliope]

hi Olivia
you are not alone in doing this. i know of others who do the same thing but it is not normal or healthy. you need to find ways to distract yourself when the urge strikes to stalk her. positive self talk reminding yourself that your husband is with you, not her and when you go to get on your computer, choose to do something else like watch tv, read a book or clean something instead. you may find you have a sparkling clean house very soon. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[tipper1492]

My opinion, YOU MUST STOP! You certainly are obsessing, and this is not at all good for you personally, or if others find out. I'd cut it out. If this is normal, it should not be. You need to talk to your psychiatrist all about this, and not hide anything if you want good help solving this problem. I'd say resist to the highest degree to stop going on line to see her face book and any other place she can be found. I'd destroy the fake face book as well. This can only get worse for you if you continue.

You know in your own mind this can only bring you more wild ideas, stress, guilt, feeling unsecured, and who knows what else. Your mind will be flooded with things that have no way of making you happier. You have too many questions, and you will not be getting the answers from her.

If you and your husband continue to have problems, it will take the both of you together wanting to seek out professional help.

[tipper1492]

OH - I, and everyone here, will go easy on you. Things here are just lovely. I hope I wasn't too hard on you, but I said how I felt, and I think that's what you wanted to know from others. You did say - "please go easy on me." I think you did that because you know in your heart you need to go in a different direction.

[Turtlesoup]

Hi and welcome to PC-did you & your husband seek any type of therapy regarding your split? I think a good dose of therapy with a 3rd party would be good for both of you-that he went back to his ex who had left him & then he came back to you-that's a lot of baggage. You should mention this to your pdoc also-without being brutally honest with the people who are trying to help you I think you are going to continue this unhealthy obsession. As has already been mentioned I would discontinue the fake facebook & I think you should really limit your time online-take care & remember there is a lot of support here available at any time.

[cashart10]

Hi and welcome to PC!

I have done this several times, dating back to high school, and mostly to women (for much different reasons). I would definitely consider myself a stalker in these situations but, they've only ever occurred at such magnitude, while I have been manic. I always feel so ashamed and embarrassed once it passes.

I agree with the advice given, especially that to be brutally honest with your pdoc is of major importance!