[HALLIEBETH87]

I'm not ok. I'm so exhausted and can't do anything but lay here. And km so anxious I might panic or end up taking klonopin. I want to cry for some reason. I keep getting bad. I can't stop cutting. It's stupid. 25 cuts I have to watch heal now. Idk why but I keep having thoughts of suicide ideation and I truly don't want to die. What's wrong with me?? I want yo be better. I almost want hospital. Stupid. Stupid.

[Victoria'smom]

Please go to the ER. You want to get better, your vaguely suicidal and hurting yourself. You want help so ask for it.

[HALLIEBETH87]

the one hospital i wanted to go, if i had to, doesn't take my insurance. they suggested two that are HORRIBLE! So, nevermind. I will just stay in my room.

[tipper1492]

You do not need to be alone when this is taken place. You need to talk to someone. Do you have a psychiatrist?

[HALLIEBETH87]

yes I see her on Tuesday and my T on Wednesday. Im ok a little now. Still going to stay in my room. Then my family wont know whats wrong. I was willing to take myself if I could go there but they don't take the insurance I have. The two they suggested truly are horrible. Everyone says so.

The only other place I would consider I think, requires a referral and Id have to wait for that.

[Victoria'smom]

Can you "Hallibeth" proof your house?

Put all sharp objects up (fire proof safety box) anything you can hurt yourself with. Put 3 days worth of your meds then every one of your meds in a safety deposit box. Get finger food (go gurt, PB&j) anything that you don't need sharp objects to eat. That way you can't be inpulsive.

[HALLIEBETH87]

that all sounds like when I was on extreme red band at the hospital.

[cashart10]

Can you call your pdoc tomorrow and get a referral that way? My pdoc would certainly do it if I were in your position and I would imagine most would do it. I agree you should go after reading your post.

[Victoria'smom]

that all sounds like when I was on extreme red band at the hospital. ya, but in the comfort of you own home.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I ifht call pdoc tom, she might just talk with me about wSiting to see me on thursday

[~Christina]

Just Stop! .. You are back home, your not in Florida anymore, Breathe, Dont allow your panic to keep rolling down hill and building up speed, Hang with your cat, If laying around is helping , just lay around, Throw out your cutting stuff, Distract yourself , distract yourself, watch movie , listen to music , call your friends, Journal, Go to a church service Take your Klonopin like your suppost to. If your still on the edge , go to the ER , Maybe the 2 other places that you have never gone to are not really as bad as you may think or heard they are.

Im not being a Bytch here .. But you need to get a grip , now. You know how to do all theses tings.. this is the time you need to use them. and If you cant then you do indeed need to go to the er , now.

Stay safe, your seeing your Pdoc Tues.