[nickie25]

Hello, I'm new to this forum thing, never done this before, but I figured it may help getting advice, and input from others who share this horrible illness. I suffer from bipolar disorder and severe ADHD. I am also a semi recovering opiate addict... About 3 years ago I was diagnosed with the ADHD at the age of 22. I was on Lamictal for my bipolar and my psychiatrist prescribed me 2, 30mg Adderall a day. I was also using opiates at the time. About 6 months ago I quit taking my Lamictal BC well first, I was bruising really bad, and second because taking 60mg of amphetamines a day mixed with opiates of COURSE I felt great, who wouldn't? So I thought I was cured! Haha boy was I wrong... Stopping the Lamictal mixed with the adderall sent me to this crazy, manic episode, that I didn't realize at the time. I felt invincible, went to the casino by myself a lot, was a little promiscuous, and just did a lot of dumb **** I normally wouldn't do. Then my doctor prescribed me xanax. He didn't know I had quit taking my Lamictal, I just told him I was having severe anxiety... Obviously, amphetamines/adderall is going to make your heart race...anyways my big, long, manic episode ended with me having a grand maul seizure and almost dead, I had blood on my brain and couldn't breathe on my own...I somehow survived with no brain damage...the seizure was a result of xanax withdrawal. Needless to say, its been a hard road to recovery. Doc took away my adderall, and xanax of course. Now he has me on 200mg seroquel and 30 mg Vyvanse. I'm for the most part feeling better each day that goes by, but mistakes I made during my manic episode has destroyed the trust my boyfriend had for me. I stole from him, lied to him, cheated on him...but I'm back to myself now, really trying to make our relationship work but he ALWAYS brings up the past...I can't blame him but when he's yelling about the poor choices I've made I feel stuck... anyone with advice on how I can make my boyfriend understand my disease BC he's my rock, I love him and can't lose him. Thanks for your time and input

[Victoria'smom]

Unfortunately he wont "get" it. Time, and couples therapy can help but sometimes our episodes are to much for a relationship. Are you in therapy?

[nickie25]

No therapy, but I'm very close with my psychiatrist been seeing him for 8 years, he knows me pretty well, although I have thought before like its mostly talk about hows the meds, not too much talk about how im feeling...135$ a visit for a 20 min session....should I see a therapist? Someone to talk to?

[Victoria'smom]

Meds are only half or less of the solution. Therapy, diet, hobbies are all needed to help heal from past episodes. I also suggest your boyfriend see a therapist, if he's willing or couples therapy to heal from the last episode. It's hard for them too. You both need professional support to survive this illness.

Therapist can:
*process your last episode
*give you idea's on how to mend relationships
* come up with plans to cope with episode
* know when you're heading into an episode
* give you stress reducing techniques
* deal with daily crap

[Justugh]

yes if u think it will help u ......insurance will cover it if not public mental health will (if u do not have health insurance apply to medicaid u will get it and have a HMO before year is out) ...at this point it is just gas cost and 1 dollar per script

as for the boyfriend thing 3 choices i know of results vary
1 cabin lock ....for 48 to 72 hours locked in and made to deal with all the bull crap at once this makes u closer or ends it
2u live with this and that card in any fight until he messes up publicly and u can cancel each other out
3 u call up his mom and buddies looking for stories from his past u can use to end that card from ever being played again

stuff like this is there is one thing u have to do a grand i am sorry soul baring thing ...having stories of the past will help put it into away can be accepted by the person since their own action closely mirrors it .....it why ppl with history last longer they have something on the other person to make them calm down and talk about it